Amathiphu asheshayo
- Bhala phansi umcabango olukhuni igama ngegama.
- Buza ukuthi ibuphi ubufakazi obuwusekelayo ngempela.
- Wuphendule njengeseluleko kumngane.
Cabanga umlayezo owuthumele kumngane emahoreni amabili edlule. Ayikho impendulo. Manje ususengaba maphakathi nendaba: bacasukile kuwe, uthe into engalungile, ubungane buyapholisa. Akukho kwakho okwenzekile. Umngane wakho usemhlanganweni ifoni yakhe ibhekise phansi. Kodwa indaba isikubize intambama yokwesaba okuphansi.
Lokho kushibilika okuncane kusuka emlayezweni owodwa ongaphendulwe kuya esigwebweni ngobudlelwano bakho bonke yiyo into ukubuka kabusha okusebenza kuyo. Umcabango wafika ngokushesha wazwakala njengeqiniso. Wawungelona. Wawuwukuqagela okugqokiswe njengeqiniso, futhi ungafunda ukubona umehluko.
Ukubuka kabusha imicabango (odokotela bavame ukubiza uhlobo oluphelele ngokwakha kabusha ingqondo) kungenye yamakhono ayisisekelo ngaphakathi kokwelapha ngokuziphatha nangokucabanga, ukwelapha ngokukhuluma okucwaningwe kakhulu okukhona. Isisekelo sicacile. Imicabango yakho, imizwa yakho, nalokho okwenzayo konke kuxhunywe ndawonye. Umcabango uvusa umuzwa, umuzwa ukuphushela esenzweni, futhi isenzo sivame ukuqinisekisa umcabango. Ukubuka kabusha kungena kulokho kuxhumana ephuzwini elilodwa ongafinyelela kulo ngempela: umcabango.
Kungani umcabango uzwakala njengeqiniso
Iningi lokucabanga kwethu lusebenza ngokuzenzakalela. Lokho kuwuphawu, hhayi isici. Awukwazi ukucabangisisa ngayo yonke into engenayo, ngakho ubuchopho bakho buthatha izindlela ezimfushane, futhi isikhathi esiningi zikusebenzela kahle. Inkinga ukuthi umshini ofanayo ukhiqiza umthonjana ongaguquki weziphetho ongazicelanga, futhi awuphawuli ukuthi yiziphi ezithembekile.
Lapho ucindezelekile, udangele, noma ukhathazekile, leyo micabango ezenzakalelayo itsheka ibe mnyama futhi iphelele. Ingqondo ifinyelela ezindleleni ezimbalwa ezimfushane ezibikezelekayo. Odokotela bengqondo banamagama azo ezivamile:
- Ukucabanga kwakho-konke-noma-lutho, lapho ukukhubeka kanye kusho ukuthi wehluleke ngokuphelele.
- Ukwenza kube yinhlekelele, lapho ingqondo igijimela esiphethweni esibi kunazo zonke bese isiphatha njengesinethuba lokwenzeka.
- Ukufunda ingqondo, lapho unquma ukuthi uyazi ukuthi umuntu ucabangani ngawe, ngaphandle kobufakazi.
- Ukuhlunga kwengqondo, lapho izinto eziyishumi zihambe kahle kanti leyo eyodwa engahambanga kahle yiyo yodwa ongayibona.
Qaphela ukuthi akukho kulezi okuyisici sobuntu. Ziyimikhuba yokunaka, futhi cishe wonke umuntu uzenza ngezinye izikhathi. I-Cleveland Clinic ihlela lonke iphuzu lalo msebenzi ngokulula: usizi lwengqondo lwakhiwe ngokwengxenye emaphethinini angelusizo okucabanga, futhi lawo maphethini angadingwa. Awuzami ukuba umuntu obona okuhle ngokungapheli. Uzama ukucabanga ngokunemba kakhulu, okuvame ukuzwakala kungcono kakhulu kunalokho inhlekelele eyayikwenza.
Okungasikho ukubuka kabusha
Ukukhucululwa okusheshayo komhlabathi, ngoba lokhu kuyaqondwa ngokungeyikho.
Ukubuka kabusha akusikho ukuzitshela ukuthi konke kulungile ekubeni kungalungile. Uma ulahlekelwe umsebenzi, "lokhu akuyona into enkulu" ngamanga, futhi ingqondo yakho iyakwazi. Injabulo ephoqiwe ivame ukunganamatheli, ngoba enye ingxenye yakho iqhubeka iphikisa lokho kuguqulwa.
Futhi akusikho ukuzenzisa ukususa imizwa enzima. Umgomo akusikho ukuyeka ukuzwa usizi noma ukwesaba. Umgomo ukuqinisekisa ukuthi umcabango oqhuba umuzwa uyiqiniso ngaphambi kokuba uwuvumele uqhube intambama yakho. Ngezinye izikhathi uhlola umcabango bese uma. Isimo sinzima ngempela. Lokho nakho kufanele kwaziwe, ngoba khona-ke ungabeka amandla akho enkingeni esikhundleni sesiyingi.
Uchungechunge olulula ongaluzama
I-NHS ifundisa uhlobo lwalokhu ngezinyathelo ezintathu ezicacile: wubambe, wuhlole, wuguqule. Kuwumgogodla omuhle wokulengisa ikhono. Nakhu ukuthi kwenzeka kanjani lapho umcabango ukushaya eceleni.
1. Bamba umcabango
Awukwazi ukusebenza nento ongayiqaphelanga. Isikhombisi imvamisa ngumuzwa, hhayi umcabango. Ukwehla okuzumayo kwesimo sakho sengqondo, ifindo esiswini sakho, ukuqhamuka kokwesaba. Lapho uzwa lokho, yima ubuze: yini esanda kudlula ekhanda lami? Zama ukubamba amagama ncamashi. "Ngizoxoshwa." "Akekho lapha ongithanda ngempela." "Ngihlala ngikonakalisa lokhu." Ukukubhala phansi kusiza ngaphezu kwalokho okuzwakala sengathi kufanele. Ephepheni, umcabango uyeka ukuba umoya owuphefumulayo bese uba umusho ongawubuka.
2. Hlola ubufakazi
Manje phatha umcabango njengesimangalo esenziwe omunye umuntu, bese ucela ubufakazi. Imibuzo embalwa eyenza umsebenzi wangempela:
- Buyini ubufakazi bangempela balokhu? Futhi buyini ubufakazi obuphikisayo?
- Ingabe ngiphatha isimo esibi kunazo zonke njengento eqinisekile? Kunethuba elingakanani lokwenzeka, ngeqiniso?
- Ingabe kukhona enye incazelo engiyeqayo? (Umngane othule osemhlanganweni, hhayi umngane osekuqedile ngawe.)
- Uma umngane engitshela lo mcabango ncamashi ngaye, bengingamtshelani?
Lowo mbuzo wokugcina uyisisebenzi esithule. Sinika abanye abantu ubulungiswa esikhohlwa ukuzinika bona. Ukuwubuza ngokuzwakalayo kuvame ukuwuvula umcabango ngokwawo.
3. Wuguqule ube yinto eyiqiniso kakhulu
Manje bhala esithathela isikhundla, bese uqonda okunembayo kunokukhanya. Hhayi "Ngizoyiphumelela le nkulumo, wonke umuntu uzoyithanda." Okuthile ingqondo yakho ezokwamukela: "Nginovalo, futhi ngilungiselele. Ngingase ngiphuthelwe umugqa. Abantu bahlale bezwa okubi kunalokho bengacabangi lutho ngakho. Ngingakubhekana lokhu."
I-Harvard Health ichaza cishe isinyathelo esifanayo ngesiyingi esifushane sokuma, ukuphefumula, ukucabanga, ukukhetha, futhi inikeza isibonelo esijwayelekile. Ubhajwe kuthelekelo lezimoto endleleni yokuhlangana nomngane, umcabango ojikelezayo uthi "bazothukuthela kakhulu." Ukubuka kabusha: "Ngizofika sekwedlule imizuzu embalwa nje. Kuzolunga. Ngenza konke engingakwenza." Amaqiniso afanayo, intambama ehluke ngokuphelele.
Ungalindeli umuzwa ukuba unyamalale ngomyalo
Nansi ingxenye okungekho okuxwayisa ngayo. Emahlandleni okuqala ayishumi nambili owenza ngawo lokhu, umcabango omusha ngeke uzwakale uyiqiniso njengomdala. Inhlekelele ineminyaka yokuzijwayeza. Umcabango olinganisele musha ngokuphelele. Lelo gebe lijwayelekile, futhi akusiwo uphawu lokuthi indlela yehlulekile.
Ukubuka kabusha kungukuzijwayeza, kusondele emsipheni kunakwiswishi. Isikhathi ngasinye lapho ubamba umcabango, uwuhlole, uwuphendule ngokuthile okunobulungiswa kakhulu, ubeka umsele onembe kancane kakhulu. Ngemva kwamaviki ambalwa okuphindaphinda okuncane, ukufunda okuzolile kuqala ukufika ngokwako, ngezinye izikhathi ngaphambi kokwethuka. Ngeke uqaphele usuku okushintsha ngalo. Uzovele uqaphele, ekugcineni, ukuthi umlayezo ongaphendulwe awusayonakalisi intambama yakho.
Ilindelo elingokoqobo: abantu abaningi bathola ukuxega okuncane emzamweni wokuqala noshintsho lwangempela emavikini. Uma ufuna uhlelo, gcina irekhodi lomcabango elilula iviki. Amakholomu amathathu. Isimo, umcabango ozenzakalelayo, umcabango olinganisele kakhulu. Ukubona amaphethini akho ephepheni kuvame ukuba yingxenye eshukumisa inaliti.
Lapho ukubuka kabusha kunganele
Leli yikhono eliwusizo ngempela, futhi linemikhawulo efanele iqanjwe.
Uma imicabango emibi ingaguquki, uma isithathe umphetho ononya noma ongenathemba, noma uma isimo sengqondo esiphansi novalo kuphazamisa ubuthongo, umsebenzi, noma abantu obakhathalelayo, lokho uphawu lokungenisa uchwepheshe kunokusukumela kanzima wedwa. Udokotela wengqondo oqeqeshelwe i-CBT wenza ngqo lo msebenzi nawe, futhi ukuba nomuntu okusiza ukubona amaphethini osondele kakhulu ukuwabona kwenza umehluko wangempela. Ezindaweni eziningi ungafinyelela lolo hlobo lokwelapha ngodokotela wakho, futhi ezinye izifunda zikuvumela ukuzidlulisela wena ngqo.
Futhi uma umcabango uke uphendukele ekuzilimazeni, noma izinto zizwakala zingaphezu kwalokho ongakuthwala, sicela ungazami ukubuka kabusha indlela yakho udlule kulokho wedwa. Xhumana nomugqa wezimo eziphuthumayo noma nomuntu omthembayo ngalo lolo suku. Lokho akusikho ukwehluleka kwekhono lokubhekana. Kuwukusetshenziswa okulungile kosizo olukhulu olukhona ngqo kule mizuzu.
Uhlobo oluncane lwakho konke lokhu yinto ongayiqala namuhla ebusuku. Ngesikhathi esilandelayo lapho umcabango ufika unzima futhi uqinisekile, ungaphikisani nawo futhi ungawulaleli. Vele uwubhale phansi ubuze ukuthi uyiqiniso yini ngempela. Lokho kuma kunye yilapho lonke ikhono liqala khona.
Imithombo
- Harvard Health, Try this: How to change your negative thoughts
- NHS Every Mind Matters, Reframing unhelpful thoughts
- Cleveland Clinic, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)