Amathiphu asheshayo
- Bhala phansi umcabango olimazayo njengomusho owodwa.
- Bala amaqiniso ukwesaba kwakho okukushiye ngaphandle.
- Jonga kokuyiqiniso nokunomusa, hhayi okuthokozayo.
Iningi lemicabango ebuhlungu lifika livele lembethe isembeso. Lifika lizwakala njengeqiniso elisobala. "Ngizenze isilima." "Bonke bazohamba." "Angikwazi ukubhekana nalokhu." Alikho izwana elimemezela "nangu umcabango uyeza" kuqala. Kuvele kuzwakale njengeqiniso, futhi umzimba wakho uphendula sengathi kunjalo.
Irekhodi yemicabango iyindlela yokususa isembeso. Kungenye yamathuluzi amadala kakhulu, alula kakhulu ekwelapheni kokuziphatha nokucabanga, futhi enhliziyweni yayo ilula cishe ngendlela ehlazisayo: ubhala phansi umcabango okulimazayo, bese uwubuza imibuzo embalwa eqotho esikhundleni sokuwugwinya uphelele. Ukubhala kubalulekile. Umcabango owugcina ekhanda lakho ungajikeleza phakade. Umcabango osephepheni unemiphetho. Ungawubuka.
Akekho okucela ukuba ucabange kamnandi. Iphuzu akulona ukunamathisela uhlangothi oluhle osukwini olunzima. Kungukuhlola ukuthi indaba oyixoxela wena inembile yini ngempela, ngoba ubuningi obumangalisayo bokuhlupheka kwethu abuveli kokwenzekile kodwa buvela enguqulweni esiyixoxayo ngakho.
Kungani umcabango, umuzwa, nomzimba konke kunyakaza ndawonye
Nawu umbono lonke ithuluzi elisekelwe kuwo. Lokho okucabangayo, lokho okuzwayo, nalokho umzimba wakho okwenzayo kuxhunywe ndawonye. Shintsha okukodwa bese okunye kuyaguquka.
Imicabango eyenza umonakalo omkhulu ivame ukuba sheshayo futhi ithule. Odokotela bezengqondo bayibiza ngokuthi imicabango ezenzakalelayo, leyo edlula ngokuphazima onqenqemeni lokuqaphela kwakho, ifake umbala kuso sonke isimo sakho somqondo, bese ishelela ingaphambi kokuba uke uyibuze. Uzwa ukwesaba. Kuyivelakancane ukuthi ubambe umusho owukubangele.
Eminingi yaleyo micabango ezenzakalelayo iphinde igobe. I-Cleveland Clinic ichaza ukusonteka kwengqondo njengokuthi "amaphethini azenzakalelayo, amabi okucabanga asonta iqiniso," futhi lokho kuyisithombe esifanele: hhayi amanga ngempela, kodwa iqiniso elibonwa ngesibuko esisontekile. Izimo ezimbalwa ezivamile uma usuqala ukuzibhekela:
- Konke-noma-lutho. Ukushelela okukodwa kusho ukwehluleka okuphelele. Uphuthelwa ukuzivocavoca okukodwa bese unquma ukuthi useqedile ngejimu unomphelo.
- Ukwenza inhlekelele. Ingqondo yakho igijimela esimeni esibi kakhulu bese isiphatha njengesenzeka kakhulu.
- Ukufunda ingqondo. Uqinisekile ukuthi uyazi ukuthi umuntu ucabangani ngawe, ngaphandle kobufakazi bangempela.
- Ukucabanga ngomzwelo. Kuzwakala kuyiqiniso, ngakho kumele kube yiqiniso. "Ngizizwa ngingumthwalo" kuba "Ngingumthwalo."
Akudingeki ukhumbule uhlu. Kumele nje usole ukuthi umxoxi olunya kakhulu ekhanda lakho kungenzeka ukuthi akuyena othembeke kakhulu.
Imibuzo eyisikhombisa
Inguqulo efundiswa yi-NHS idlula ezikhuthazweni eziyisikhombisa, futhi kuyindawo enhle yokuqala. Zithathe kancane. Yiba qotho ngangokunokwenzeka, futhi kubhale phansi kunokukwenza konke ekhanda lakho, ukuze ukwazi ukubuyela kukho kamuva.
- Isimo. Kwenzekani ngempela? Bambelela emaqinisweni, ngendlela ikhamera engawabona ngayo. "Umphathi wami uphendule i-imeyili yami ngegama elilodwa." Hhayi okwamanje "umphathi wami ungithukuthelele."
- Imizwa. Wazizwa kanjani, futhi kwakuqine kangakanani? Qamba umuzwa bese uwukala kusuka kokungu-zero kuya kwikhulu. Ukukhathazeka, 80. Amahloni, 70.
- Umcabango ongasizi. Yini eyadlula engqondweni yakho? Lo umusho ongaphansi komuzwa. "Ngonile futhi bazongixosha."
- Ubufakazi obuwesekayo. Yini ngempela esekela umcabango? Amaqiniso angempela kuphela, hhayi eminye imizwa. Mhlawumbe: impendulo yayimfushane, futhi ubuphuze ekuletheni okokugcina.
- Ubufakazi obuphikisayo. Yini engahambisani nendaba? Bakunike ukubuyekezwa okuhle. Abantu bathumela izimpendulo zegama elilodwa lapho bematasa kakhulu. Awukatshelwa ngempela ukuthi kukhona okungalungile.
- Umcabango onobulungiswa. Uma ubheka womabili amakholomu, yikuphi ukufunda okulinganisele kakhulu? Hhayi okuthokozayo ngamanga, kuphelele nje kakhulu. "Impendulo emfushane cishe isho ukuthi babematasa. Uma kukhona okungalungile ngempela, ngizokuzwa, futhi ngingakubhekana nakho ngaleso sikhathi."
- Ukuthi uzizwa kanjani manje. Kala imizwa futhi. Umgomo awuyona i-zero. Uma ukukhathazeka kwehle kusuka ku-80 kuya ku-50, lokho ithuluzi elisebenzayo.
Umsebenzi wekholomu yesihlanu akuwona ukuwina impikiswano. Ukukhumbula amaqiniso ukwesaba kwakho okukushiye ngaphandle ngokulula.
Lokho kwehla, kusuka ku-80 kuya ku-50, yikho impumelelo ebukeka ngakho. Awuzami ukuzizwa umuhle kakhulu. Uzama ukusuka kokuthi "angikwazi ukucabanga kahle" uye kokuthi "kulungile, ngingathatha isinyathelo esilandelayo."
Kungani ukubhala kudlula ukukucabangisisa
Ungazibuza ukuthi ungaleqa iphepha wenze nje lokhu ekhanda lakho. Ngezinye izikhathi, uma usuzijwayeze. Ekuqaleni, cha, futhi kunesizathu.
Lapho ucasukile, umcabango nomuzwa kuhlangene. Ukwesaba kuzwakala njengobufakazi bengozi. Ukubhala kuyakwehlukanisa. Kuphoqa ukwesaba okungacacile ukuba kube umusho owodwa oqondile, futhi umusho oqondile kuyinto ongakwazi ngempela ukuyihlola. Ifu ongeke uphikisane nalo. Umusho ongakwazi.
Yilena injini yalokho odokotela bezengqondo abakubiza ngokuthi ukwakha kabusha ingqondo, umkhuba wokubamba umcabango osontekile, uwukale ngokubufakazi, bese wakha owodwa onobulungiswa esikhundleni sawo. Kunokusekelwa kwangempela ngemuva kwako. Ukuhlaziywa okuhlanganisiwe kuka-2023 kujenali *Psychotherapy* ngu-Iony Ezawa noSteven Hollon kwathola uxhumano oluphakathi nendawo, oluqhubekayo phakathi kokusetshenziswa kokwakha kabusha ingqondo odokotela bezengqondo nemiphumela engcono ekwelashweni kokucindezeleka, kuhlanganise nezimpawu eziphansi ezikhathini ezilandelayo nethuba eliphansi lokuphindela. Njengoba i-Harvard Health ikubeka, ngokusobala, "ingxenye enkulu yokubhidliza ukusonteka kwengqondo yethu ukuvele ukuqaphela ngakho." Ikhasi lenza ukuqaphela kube ngokoqobo.
Ukukwenza kunamathele
Izinto ezimbalwa ezisiza kube umkhuba esikhundleni somsebenzi wesikole owuyeka ngoLwesine.
Qala ngokucasuka okumaphakathi ngobukhulu, hhayi into embi kakhulu empilweni yakho. Ufunda ikhono, futhi ubungeke ufunde ukubhukuda esiphephweni. I-imeyili ecikayo noma ukukhathazeka okuncane komphakathi kuyisiqalo esingcono kunosizi noma ukwesaba obelokhu kunawe iminyaka.
Kugcine kufushane futhi kugcine kuseduze. Inothi eselulwini lakho lisebenza kahle njengephepha lokusebenza eliphrintiwe. Irekhodi yemicabango engcono kakhulu yileyo ozoyifinyelela ngempela lapho isifuba sakho siqinile, hhayi enhle esesitsheni.
Lindela ukuthi kuzwakale kungokwemishini ekuqaleni. Ukuphendulana nemicabango yakho ngokubhala kuyaxaka izikhathi zokuqala ezimbalwa. Leyo nkinga iyanyamalala, futhi ngolunye usuku uzobamba indilinga iqala bese usebenzisa imibuzo ekhanda lakho ngaphandle kwephepha nhlobo. Yilelo lonke iphuzu lokuzijwayeza ephepheni. Ekugcineni uyayithwala.
Futhi vumela umcabango onobulungiswa ube othobekile. Awufinyeleli ekutheni "konke kuhle." Ufinyelela kokuyiqiniso nokunomusa. Umusho oqotho kakhulu ngokuvamile uwuhlobo oluthile lokuthi "lokhu kunzima, futhi ngingakwazi ukubhekana nengxenye elandelayo yako."
Kunini okumele ungenise okungaphezu kwephepha lokusebenza
Irekhodi yemicabango iyithuluzi elihle, futhi ithuluzi linemikhawulo. Uma isimo sakho somqondo esiphansi noma ukukhathazeka kube kunamathele amasonto, uma kungena phakathi kwakho nobuthongo bakho, umsebenzi wakho, noma abantu obathandayo, lokho kufanele ukukhulunywa nodokotela noma udokotela wezengqondo. Umuntu oqeqeshiwe angawenza lo msebenzi nawe abambe amaphethini ongeke uwabone usuka ngaphakathi.
Kukhona nezikhathi leli thuluzi elingakhelwanga zona. Uma usenhlekeleleni yangempela, uma ucabanga ngokuzilimaza noma uzizwa sengathi ungeke uqhubeke, ngicela ungahlali wedwa nephepha lokusebenza. Xhumana nomgqa wezinhlekelele noma umuntu omthembayo khona manje. Eminye imicabango idinga umuntu ngakolunye uhlangothi, hhayi ikhasi. Ukucela lokho akukhona ukwehluleka kwethuluzi. Kunguwe owazi umehluko phakathi kosuku olunzima nomzuzu odinga izandla eziningi kunezakho.
Isikhathi esiningi, nokho, umsebenzi uthule kunalokho. Kungumcabango owodwa oqinile, ikhasi elilodwa eliqotho, nempumuzo encane yokuqaphela ukuthi izwi elilunya kakhulu ekhanda lakho lalishoda uhhafu wendaba.
Imithombo
- NHS, Thought record CBT exercise
- Cleveland Clinic, What Are Cognitive Distortions? And How To Change Distorted Thinking
- Harvard Health Publishing, How to recognize and tame your cognitive distortions
- Ezawa & Hollon, Cognitive Restructuring and Psychotherapy Outcome: A Meta-Analytic Review (*Psychotherapy*, 2023)