Ukubona Ukugoba Kwengqondo: Indlela Yokubamba Imicabango Ekuqambela Amanga

Umsebenzi ohamba naye udlula edeskini lakho ngaphandle kokubingelela. Ngemizuzwana ubuchopho bakho sebunencazelo ephelele elungile: bacasukile ngawe, usho okuthile okungalungile izolo, mhlawumbe wonke umuntu ubekhuluma. Akukho kukho okwenzekile. Awunabufakazi. Kodwa indaba isivele izwakala njengeqiniso, futhi isisu sakho sesivele sashaya phansi.

Lokho kweqa okuncane kuvamile kangangokuthi cishe awukuqapheli. Kuyisibonelo sasencwadini sokugoba kwengqondo. Yilelo igama lendlela ejwayelekile yokucabanga egoba ukuba ngokoqobo bese ikushiya uzizwa kabi kunalokho isimo esikudingayo. I-Cleveland Clinic ikuchaza njengezindaba esizixoxela thina ezingelona iqiniso ngokugcwele noma ezingawusizo, uhlobo olwenza umzuzu ubukeke mkhulu, wesabeka, noma ubuqu kunalokho oyikho ngempela.

Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi imicabango akuyona imiyalo. Umcabango ungaba nomsindo, ushesha, futhi ungalungile ngokuphelele kanyekanye. Uma usukwazi ukubona iphethini, uyeka ukuthatha wonke umcabango njengoqinisile. Uthola igebe elincane phakathi kwalokho ingqondo yakho ekushoyo nalokho okwenzayo okulandelayo. Lelo gebe yilapho impumuzo eningi ihlala khona.

Lezi phethini zivelaphi

Asiwenzi wonke umcabango ngamabomu. Ukucabanga okuningi kuzenzakalela, uhlaka lokuqala olusheshayo lwengqondo olubhalwa ngasese ngenkathi umatasa uphila. Isikhathi esiningi lokho kuwusizo. Kukuvumela ukufunda igumbi, ukusabela ngokushesha, ukweqa umzamo wokucabangisisa yonke into encane. Ingqondo ithatha izindlela ezimfushane ngoba ukucabangisisa ngayo yonke into kungakhathaza futhi kube kancane, futhi isikhathi esiningi somlando wesintu ukuqagela okusheshayo ngengozi kwakuphephile kunokuqagela okunembayo okuhamba kancane.

Inkinga ukuthi uhlaka olusheshayo lunemikhawulo eqondiswe engozini, ikakhulukazi uma ukhathazekile, ukhathele, noma usuphansi. Ngaphansi kwengcindezi ingqondo yakho ifinyelela encazelweni esheshayo, hhayi eqinisile kunazo zonke, futhi incazelo esheshayo ivame ukuba mnyama kunazo zonke. Isimo somoya esiphansi sithobisa ngokuthula wonke umshini. Uma usuvele uzizwa kabi, sona lesi sigigaba esinganeliseki sifundwa ngendlela emnyama kakhulu etholakalayo, okwenza uzizwe kabi, okwenza umcabango olandelayo ube mnyama nakakhulu. Lelo bhuloho liyingxenye yokuthi kungani usuku olunzima lungakhula lube isonto elinzima.

Umqondo wokuthi lezi phethini ezitshekile zibumba indlela esizizwa ngayo uhlezi enhliziyweni ye-cognitive behavioral therapy, olunye lokwelashwa ngokukhuluma okucwaningwe kakhulu okukhona. Odokotela abaqale bahlela lawa maphutha okucabanga bawanika amagama asobala, akhumbulekayo ngenhloso ukuze abantu abavamile bakwazi ukuwabamba esenzweni, hhayi kuphela odokotela bengqondo abaqeqeshiwe. Ingxenye esebenzayo yale ndlela yonke ilula ukuyisho: shintsha umcabango bese ungashintsha umuzwa okhwele kuwo. Imicabango yakho, isimo sakho somoya, umzimba wakho, nalokho okwenzayo konke kuxhunywe ndawonye. Donsa noma yikuphi kwazo bese okunye kuyanyakaza.

Ukukhuthaza okusheshayo ngaphambi kohlu. Wonke umuntu wenza lokhu. Ukucabanga okugobile akulona iphutha kuwe noma uphawu lokuthi kukhona okungalungile ngesimilo sakho. Kuba yinkinga kuphela uma kuhamba njalo noma kukudonsela enkulumeni embi kakhulu yayo yonke indaba. Inhloso yokuwaqamba akusiyo ukuzithethisa ngokuba nawo. Ukubona umkhuba omdala ngokushesha ngokwanele ukuze wenze okuthile okuhlukile.

Lezo ezifanele ukwaziwa ngamagama

Kunama-12 noma ngaphezulu alezi phethini avela kaninginingi. Awudingi ukukhumbula incwadi yonke. Qaphela ukuthi yiziphi ezimbili noma ezintathu ezingezakho, ngoba abantu abaningi banezintandokazi.

• Ukucabanga kokuthi konke-noma-lutho. Umhlaba wehlukana ube impumelelo ephelele noma ukwehluleka okuphelele, kungabikho lutho phakathi. Ukushelela okukodwa bese usuku lonke "lonakele." Iphutha elilodwa bese "umubi kulokhu." Impilo yangempela cishe njalo ihlala phakathi nendawo.
• Ukwenza inhlekelele. Ingqondo yakho igijimela emphumeleni omubi kunayo yonke bese iwuthatha njengowenzeka kakhulu. Iphutha elilodwa lokubhala ku-imeyili liba ukuxoshwa, bese kuba ukungaqashwa, bese kuba ukulahlekelwa yindlu. Ukweqa ngakunye kuzwakala kunengqondo. Iketango cishe alilokothi lenzeke.
• Ukufunda ingqondo. Ucabanga ukuthi uyazi ukuthi omunye umuntu ucabangani, futhi kuyivelakancane kube okuncomekayo. Bacabanga ukuthi uyabhora. Bahlulela umsebenzi wakho. Awukwazi ngempela ukubona ngaphakathi ekhanda lomunye umuntu, okusho ukuthi ugcwalisa leso sikhala ngokwesaba kwakho.
• Ukuhluza kwengqondo. Uhluza konke okwenzekile ufuna ingxenye eyodwa embi bese uyivumela ifake umbala kukho konke. Amazwana amahle ayisishiyagalolunye nelilodwa eligxekayo, kanti eligxekayo yilona kuphela oligoduka nalo.
• Ukucabanga ngemizwa. Uphatha umuzwa njengobufakazi. "Ngizizwa ngiyisehluleki, ngakho kufanele ngibe yiso." "Ngizizwa ngikhathazekile, ngakho kufanele kube khona okungalungile." Imizwa iyiqiniso, futhi iwulwazi, kodwa ayibona ubufakazi beqiniso.
• Ukwenza jikelele ngokweqile. Isigameko esisodwa siba umthetho ohlala njalo. Ukwenqatshwa okukodwa kuguquka kube "lokhu kwenzeka njalo kimi." Qaphela amagama athi njalo nakanjani. Ngokuvamile awanembi.
• Ukwenza kube okwakho. Uzithatha icala ngezinto ezingamayelana nawe, noma ufunda zonke izigameko ezinganeliseki njengesinqumo ngawe. Isimo somoya esibi somuntu siba yinto oyenzile. Umsebenzi ohamba naye othule uba umbono ngenani lakho.
• Izitatimende zokuthi kufanele. Uhlu oluqhubekayo lwemithetho ngokuthi wena nabo bonke abanye kufanele nibe kanjani. "Kufanele ngabe sengiphambili manje." Lokhu akugqugquzeli. Kumane kukunika isizathu esisha sokuzizwa sengathi uyehluleka.
• Ukubeka ilebula. Isenzo esisodwa siqina sibe ubunikazi obuphelele. Awenzi iphutha; unquma ukuthi *uyilo* iphutha. "Ngiyisiphukuphuku" esikhundleni sokuthi "Ngiwenze kabi lowo owodwa."
• Ukubhula ikusasa. Ubikezela ikusasa ngokuzethemba okuphelele ubheje ngokumelene nawe njalo. "Lokhu kuzoba inhlekelele." "Bazothi cha." Awukwazi ngempela ukubona lokho okuzayo, futhi isibikezelo esimnyama sivame ukukukhipha ngisho nasekuzameni.
• Ukwenqaba okuhle. Izinto ezinhle ziyenzeka bese uziphephetha. Isincomo besiwukuziphatha kahle nje. Ukunqoba bekuyinhlanhla noma isehlakalo. Ubufakazi obubi buyabalwa kanti ubufakazi obuhle ngandlela thile abubalwa, okugcina isinqumo esimnyama siphephe unomphela enselelweni.
• Ukukhulisa nokwehlisa. Ukhulisa umsindo emaphutheni akho nasezintweni ezihamba kabi, bese uwehlisa emandleni akho nasezintweni ezihamba kahle. Iphutha limi likhulu kakhulu. Into oyiphathe kahle inciphe ibe yize.

Ngokufunda uhlu, ungase ube usuzwe ukubaneka kokubona. Lokho kubaneka yikhono eliqala ukuvuleka. Ukuqamba iphethini, ngisho ngokuthulile, kukhipha omunye umoya kuyo.

Indlela yokusebenza nazo ngempela

Ukubona ukugoba kuyisinyathelo sokuqala. Isinyathelo esilandelayo ukukuvivinya kancane esikhundleni sokukugwinya konke. Akukho kulokhu okudinga ukuthi uphoqe injabulo mbumbulu. Umgomo ukunemba, hhayi amanga akhanyayo ukushintsha amnyama.

1. Bamba umcabango bese uwubhala phansi. Uma isimo sakho somoya sishaya phansi, buza ukuthi yini idlule ekhanda lakho. Thola amagama ngqo. "Wonke umuntu ucabanga ukuthi angiwenzi umsebenzi wami." Ukubethela umcabango ephepheni kuwuguqula usuke ekufiphaleni ophakathi kwako ube yinto ongayibuka.
2. Qamba iphethini. Yiqhathanise nohlu. Ngabe lokhu ukufunda ingqondo? Ukwenza inhlekelele? Ngokuvamile ilebula lodwa liyayehlisa amandla. "Awu, lokho ukwenza inhlekelele kwami nje futhi" kuthwala isisindo esincane kakhulu kunalokho umcabango obunaso emzuzwini owedlule.
3. Cela ubufakazi, ngazo zombili izindlela. Yini ngempela esekela lo mcabango, futhi yini ephikisana nawo? Bambelela emaqinisweni ikhamera engawaqopha, hhayi imizwa. "Bangedlula" kuyiqiniso. "Bayangizonda" kuwukuhumusha okugqoke izingubo zeqiniso.
4. Thola inguqulo enomusa, eqinisile. Hhayi isiqubulo. Inguqulo ema iqine. Esikhundleni sokuthi "Ngihlala ngikona lokhu," into enjengokuthi "Ngiwenze kabi lona owodwa, futhi ngiphethe abaningi abanye kahle." Umgomo umcabango onemba kakhulu futhi olula ukuwuthwala.
5. Zama isivivinyo somngane. Uma umuntu omkhathalelayo ebesho khona kanye lokhu ngaye, ubungamtshelani? Sivame ukuba nomusa nokuba nengqondo kakhudlwana kwabanye abantu kunakithi. Boleka lelo zwi bese uliqondisa ngaphakathi.

Hambisa isimo somsebenzi ohamba naye kukho bese ubona ukuthi kunyakaza ngokushesha kangakanani. Umcabango: "Bedlule ngaphandle kokungibingelela, ngakho bacasukile ngami." Iphethini: ukufunda ingqondo, kuxutshwe okuncane kokwenza kube okwakho. Ubufakazi bako: abazange babingelele. Ubufakazi obuphikisayo: bebekufonini yabo, ube nezingxoxo eziningi ezijwayelekile kuleli sonto, futhi umuntu angaphazamiseka ngezizathu eziyikhulu ezingahlangene nawe. Inguqulo eqinisile: "Bedlule ngaphandle kokungibingelela. Angazi ngempela ukuthi kungani, futhi izimpendulo ezenzeka kakhulu azingihlanganisi." Isivivinyo somngane siyakuqinisa. Ubungeke ulokothe utshele umngane ukuthi iphaseji elilodwa elithule lisho ukuthi omunye umsebenzi ubenegqubu naye ngasese. Yonke le nto ithatha ngaphansi komzuzu uma ususikwenzile kaningana, futhi ifindo esiswini sakho liyaxega ngoba indaba ebeyilibambe liqinile isilahlekelwe ukubamba.

Lokhu kudinga ukuzijwayeza, futhi kuzwakala kungahlelekile ekuqaleni, njengoba noma yiliphi ikhono elisha lenza. Usebenzisana nomsele ingqondo yakho eyiwugudle iminyaka. Yiba nesineke esigabeni esingahlelekile. Ukubamba ngisho nokugoba okukodwa ngosuku bese ukubuza kancane kuyinqubekela phambili yangempela, futhi kuyaqongelela. Abanye abantu bathola kusiza ukugcina inothi elilula eliqhubekayo efonini yabo: umcabango, iphethini, inguqulo eqinisile. Ukubona okugoba okufanayo okubili noma okuthathu kuvela kaninginingi kududuza ngokungajwayelekile. Kusho ukuthi awubhekene nezinkinga eziyikhulu. Ubhekene neqoqwana elincane lemikhuba emidala.

Kukhona isizathu esiqinile sokuzihlupha. Lapho abacwaningi behlanganisa izifundo ezilinganisa khona kanye leli khono, nabaguli befunda ukuhlonza nokulungisa izinkolelo ezingaqondile phakathi kokwelashwa, bathola ukuxhumana okunenjongo phakathi kokwenza lowo msebenzi nokuba ngcono, kubandakanya izimpawu ezimbalwa zokudangala nengozi ephansi yokubuyela. Ukubuza imicabango yakho kungesinye sezithako ezisebenzayo zokwelashwa, hhayi into engeziwe ezizwisa kahle ohlangothini.

Imingcele embalwa eqotho

Leli thuluzi linemingcele, futhi kufanele siqonde ngayo.

Okokuqala, akuwona wonke umcabango obuhlungu ukugoba. Ngezinye izikhathi isimo simbi ngempela futhi usizi noma ukukhathazeka kuyimpendulo efanele. Ikhono ukukhomba umehluko phakathi komcabango ogobile nomuzwa ofanelekile. Ukuphikisana nomcabango oyiqiniso ngempela kumane kwengeza ungqimba lokuzingabaza phezu kwenkinga yangempela. Uma ubufakazi busekela umcabango, umsebenzi akusiwo ukuphikisana nawo. Ukubhekana nokungokoqobo bese uthola isinyathelo esilandelayo.

Okwesibili, awukwazi ukukwenza lokhu ngokwethembeka phakathi kwesikhukhula. Uma ukhungethwe ngempela, ingxenye yobuchopho bakho yokucabanga iyathula bese i-alamu ithatha izintambo. Kuleso simo, zinzisa umzimba wakho kuqala. Yehlisa ukuphefumula kwakho, faka izinyawo zakho phansi, bese ubuyela emcabangweni uma sekwedlule igagasi. Ukucabanga kusebenza kangcono kakhulu emhlabathini owomile.

Okwesithathu, ezinye izphethini zijulile, zindala, futhi zithandele nezinto ezibuhlungu ukuzibuka wedwa. Uma imicabango yakho ilokhu izungeza ekuphelelweni yithemba, uma ikwenza ukholwe ukuthi awunasidingo noma ukuthi akukho okuzoshintsha, noma uma kungekho ukubuza okubonakala kuzinyakazisa, lokho kuwuphawu lokungenisa omunye umuntu. Udokotela wengqondo oqeqeshwe ku-cognitive behavioral therapy wenza khona kanye lo msebenzi nawe, futhi ukuba nombono wesibili ozinzile egumbini kuguqula okwenzekayo. Kwezinye izindawo ungazidlulisela ngqo ekwelashweni ngokukhuluma ngaphandle kokudlula kudokotela kuqala. Ukufinyelela lolo sizo akukona ukuvuma ukuthi ukuzisiza kwehlulekile. Ukusebenzisa ithuluzi elifanele emicabangweni esikhule yasinda kakhulu ukuyiphakamisa wedwa.

Ngeke ubambe konke ukugoba, futhi akudingeki. Okuguqula izinto umuzwa ophumayo wokuthi umcabango ungumcabango nje, ukufundwa okukodwa okungenzeka kwesimo kunesigwebo esehliselwe. Uma usuwuzwile lowo muzwa ngisho kanye, indaba ebuhlungu elandelayo ingqondo yakho ekunika yona ilahlekelwa okuncane kwegunya layo. Bese elandelayo ilahlekelwa okuncane nakakhulu.

Imithombo

• Cleveland Clinic, What Are Cognitive Distortions? 8 Examples
• Harvard Health Publishing, How to recognize and tame your cognitive distortions
• NHS, Overview – Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
• National Library of Medicine (PMC), Cognitive Restructuring and Psychotherapy Outcome: A Meta-Analytic Review