Ukuphikisa Imicabango Yokukhathazeka: Indlela Yokuphendula Ukukhathazeka Kwakho

Sekungu-2 ekuseni futhi ubuchopho bakho sebunqume ukuthi lesi yisikhathi esifanele sokuphinda i-imeyili oyithumele ngo-4 ntambama. "Bacabange ukuthi kwakuluhlaza. Bazokuphakamisa. Lokhu kuzoba yinto enkulu." Ngesikhathi usuqedile, usuwubhale ingxenye incwadi yakho yokushiya umsebenzi ekhanda lakho. Akukho kwako okwenzekile. Konke kuzwakala kungokoqobo.

Lelo gebe yiso sonke isihloko sale ndaba. Imicabango yokukhathazeka ayiveli iqanjwe njengokuqagela noma njengezindaba zesimo esibi kunazo zonke. Iveli izwakale njengezindaba. Futhi ngenxa yokuthi izwakala iqinisekile, sivame ukusabela kuyo sengathi isivele iyiqiniso, okugcina ukukhathazeka kuqhubeka futhi kufundise ubuchopho ukukwenza futhi kusasa.

Kunekhono lokungena kulolo shwibeka. Odokotela bengqondo bakubiza ngokwakha kabusha ingqondo, noma ngezinye izikhathi bathi ukubuka kabusha nje. Uhlobo olucacile: ufunda ukuqaphela umcabango wokukhathazeka, uwubambe elangeni, uwuphendule ngokuthile okuthembeka kakhulu. Awuziphoqi ukuba ucabange izinto ezijabulisayo. Uyanemba. Futhi ekubuyekezweni okuhlanganisiwe kwezikhathi zokwelapha, abacwaningi bathola ukuthi lapho amaklayenti enza khona lolu hlobo lomsebenzi ekamelweni ngokwengeziwe, ngokuvamile ehamba kangcono, umphumela usezingeni eliphakathi kuya kwelikhulu. Kungelinye lamathuluzi acwaningwe kakhulu ekwelapheni ngokuziphatha nangokucabanga ngesizathu.

Ake sikwenze kusebenziseke.

Umcabango yinto oyishoyo ingqondo yakho, hhayi isigwebo

Qala lapha, ngoba yonke enye into incike kukho. Ingqondo yakho ikhiqiza imicabango njalonjalo, ngendlela inhliziyo yakho ekhiqiza ngayo ukushaya. Iningi layo awulokothi ulihlole. Idlula nje. Lapho ukhathazekile, ingqondo yakho iqala ukukhiqiza uhlobo oluthile lomcabango, olusheshayo, oluphuthumayo, futhi olutshekele engozini, futhi yileyo esiyibamba siyikholelwe.

Isinyathelo akusikho ukuphikisana nawo wonke umcabango. Kuwukukhumbula ukuthi uvunyelwe ukuwuhlola omunye ngaphambi kokuwusayina. Umcabango ungaba nomsindo kodwa usaphosisile. Ungazwakala uyiqiniso ngamaphesenti ayikhulu kanti kuwukuqagela okugqoke ingubo.

Uma usukutholile lokho, ukukhathazeka kulahlekelwa ingxenye yokubamba kwako ngisho ngaphambi kokuba wenze noma yini ehlakaniphile ngako.

Izimo imicabango yokukhathazeka evame ukuzithatha

Ukukhathazeka akunabuciko obukhulu. Kuphinda kusebenzise amaphethini ambalwa afanayo, futhi uma usukwazi ukuwaqamba, ungayibona phakathi nomcabango. Odokotela babiza lokhu ngezicupho zokucabanga noma ukusonteka kwengqondo. Ambalwa ajwayelekile:

• Ukwenza kube yinhlekelele. Ukugxumela ngqo emphumeleni omubi kunayo yonke uhlale khona. Ubuhlungu obubodwa obungajwayelekile buba ukuxilongwa kwesifo. Umhlangano owodwa othule uba ukuxoshwa emsebenzini.
• Ukucabanga kwakho-konke-noma-lutho. Akukho phakathi. Nokho ukuphumelele noma uyisehluleki, usuku belulungile ngokuphelele noma belonakele.
• Ukufunda ingqondo. Ukunquma ukuthi uyazi ukuthi omunye umuntu ucabangani, bese ucabanga ukuthi kubi. "Akangibhalelanga umbiko, ngakho ucasukile kimi."
• Ukubikezela ikusasa. Ukuphatha isibikezelo njengento esiyenzekile. "Ngizoma ngithi nse enhlolokhonweni."
• Isihlungi sengqondo. Izinto eziyishumi zihamba kahle, eyodwa ihambe kabi, bese ubuchopho bakho bukhanyisela leyo eyodwa.

I-Harvard Health ichaza lokhu njengezihlungi zangaphakathi ezikhulisa ukukhathazeka ngokuthula futhi zisenza sizizwe kabi ngaphezu kwalokho amaqiniso akufanelekelayo. Ingxenye ewusizo akusikho ukukhumbula uhlu. Kuwukuthi ngesikhathi esilandelayo lapho umcabango ukugwaza, ungabuza ukuthi ugqoke yiphi ingubo. "O. Lokho ukwenza kube yinhlekelele." Ukukuqamba kubeka isikhala esincane phakathi kwakho nomcabango, futhi leso sikhala yilapho uthola khona ukuma kwakho futhi.

Wubambe, wuhlole, wuguqule

I-NHS ifundisa uhlobo lwalokhu ngezinyathelo ezintathu ezicacile, futhi kuyindawo ecacile yokuqala. Bamba umcabango, wuhlole, bese uwuguqula. Nakhu ukuthi ngasinye sihamba kanjani ngempela.

1. Wubambe

Awukwazi ukusebenza nomcabango ongawuqapheli. Isignali imvamisa yingumzimba wakho, hhayi ingqondo yakho. Ukuwa esiswini sakho, isifuba esibambekile, isifiso esizumayo sokubheka ifoni yakho noma ukuphuma ekamelweni. Lapho uzwa lolo shintsho, yima ubuze: yini esanda kudlula ekhanda lami?

Wubhale phansi uma ukwazi, ngisho nasohlelweni lwakho lwamanothi. Imicabango yokukhathazeka iyashelela, futhi kulula kakhulu ukuyihlola ephepheni kunokuyizungeza ebumnyameni. Thola amagama ancamashi. "Wonke umuntu edilini uzocabanga ukuthi ngiyabhora" yinto ongayibuza. "Ngizizwa ngokungajwayelekile ngedili" akukabi yiyo okwamanje.

2. Wuhlole

Lena yinhliziyo yako. Uzophatha umcabango njengesimangalo okumele sikhombise ubufakazi bawo, ngobumnene, hhayi njengasenkantolo. Imibuzo embalwa eyenza umsebenzi omningi:

1. Buyini ubufakazi bangempela balokhu? Futhi buyini ubufakazi obumelene nakho?
2. Ingabe ngididanisa umuzwa neqiniso? Ukuzizwa uyisehluleki akubona ubufakazi bokuba yiso.
3. Bengingathini kumngane omuhle obengitshela lo mcabango ncamashi? Sicishe sihlale sinomusa futhi sinengqondo ngokwengeziwe egameni lomunye umuntu.
4. Ngokoqobo, yini okungenzeka kakhulu, hhayi okubi kakhulu, okunethuba lokwenzeka?
5. Uma into embi yenzeka, benginganakwazi ukubhekana nayo? Imvamisa impendulo eqotho iyindlela ethile yokuthi yebo, bekuzoba nzima futhi bengizodlula kukho.

Akudingeki uzisebenzise zonke ezinhlanu. Umbuzo owodwa omuhle uvame ukuwuqhelisa umoya emcabangweni ngokwanele.

3. Wuguqule

Manje shintshanisa umcabango ngomunye oyiqiniso ngokwengeziwe, okuvame ukusho olinganisele kangcono, hhayi okhanya kakhulu. Umgomo akusiwo "Wonke umuntu uzongithanda." Lelo yiphupho elisha nje elikhomba enye indlela, futhi enye ingxenye yakho ngeke ilamukele.

Qonda okuthile ongakukholelwa ngempela. "Ngiqede imisebenzi eminingi enzima ngaphambili, ngakho akunakwenzeka ukuthi wonke umuntu angilahle." "Ubethule, futhi kunezizathu eziyishumi nambili zalokho ezingahlangene nami." "Ngingase ngibe novalo enhlolokhonweni, futhi ngingaba novalo ngibe ngisaphendula imibuzo."

Ukubuka kabusha okuyisicefe kancane futhi okuyiqiniso kakhulu kunqoba okujabulisayo ongakwazi ukukuzwa.

Kubukeka kanjani ngomcabango wangempela

Izinyathelo zingazwakala zingabambeki uze ubone esisodwa sidlula. Ngakho nasi esejwayelekile.

Ake sithi uthumele umlayezo omude kunokujwayelekile kumphathi wakho wathola impendulo yegama elilodwa: "Ngikubhalile." Isisu sakho siyawa. Umcabango uyafika: "Bacasukile kimi. Ngeqe umngcele. Lokhu kuzobuya kuzongiluma."

Wubambe. Uzwa ukuwa, uyema, ubhala phansi umcabango ncamashi. Usuvele wenze ingxenye enzima kunazo zonke, ususuguqule ukwesaba okungacacile kwaba umusho ongawubuka.

Wuhlole. Buyini ubufakazi bokuthi bacasukile? Ngeqiniso, impendulo eyodwa emfushane. Buyini ubufakazi obuphikisayo? Baphendula kafushane cishe kuwo wonke umuntu, bebesemihlanganweni usuku lonke, "Ngikubhalile" yindlela abantu abamatasa abasho ngayo "Ngikutholile." Ingabe ngiphatha umuzwa njengeqiniso? Yebo, umuzwa wokweqa umngcele, ngaphandle kophawu lwangempela lwako. Bengingatshelani umngane obengikhombisa lokhu? Cishe, "Impendulo yegama elilodwa isho ukuthi bamatasa, hhayi ukuthi bayakhohlisa." Yini okungenzeka kakhulu? Bayifundile, bavuma, baqhubeka. Futhi uma bebecasukile kancane, benginganakwazi ukubhekana nengxoxo emfushane ngayo? Yebo. Bekuzoba nzima kancane kodwa okusindeka ngokuphelele.

Wuguqule. Ukubuka kabusha akusikho "Bayangithanda futhi konke kuhle." Kuwukuthi "Impendulo emfushane cishe ngokuqinisekile isho ukuthi bamatasa, futhi uma kunenkinga yangempela, ngingayibhekana lapho isivele iphambi kwami." Qaphela ukuthi kuncipha kangakanani ukukhathazeka uma sekunembile. Awuziqambelanga amanga. Uvele wayeka ukuvumela igama elilodwa libhale indaba yonke.

Yileso sonke isinyathelo, futhi imicabango eminingi yokukhathazeka incipha ngendlela efanayo uma usuyehlisa ngokwanele ukuze uyibuze.

Isicupho okufanele usigweme

Kukhona indlela emfushane elingayo ebuyela emuva, ngakho kufanele iqanjwe. Lapho umcabango wokukhathazeka uvela, isifiso ngokuvamile siwukuwenza uhambe manje, ngokuwucindezela phansi, ngokuzitshela ukuthi "yeka ukucabanga ngakho," noma ngokufuna ukuqinisekiswa kaninginingi uze ukungakhululeki kwehle.

Inkinga ukuthi ukulwa nomcabango kuvame ukuwondla. Zitshele ukuthi ungacabangi ngento bese ucabanga ngayo kakhulu. Futhi ukuqinisekiswa kuwukulungisa okusheshayo okuphela masinyane, yingakho ukubheka okunye kophawu, elinye elithi "uqinisekile awukangithukutheleli," kuvame ukungazinzisi lutho isikhathi eside. Ukukhululeka kungokoqobo futhi kufushane, futhi ukukhathazeka kubuya kulambe kakhulu.

Ukuphikisa umcabango kwehlukile ekuwucindezeleni. Awuwuvaleli umnyango. Uyawuvumela ungene, uwubheke ngqo, uwuphendule. Inhloso ukubamba umcabango ngokungaqinisi kancane, hhayi ukunqoba impi ngawo. Ukungaqiniseki okuthile kuyasala, futhi ukufunda ukuthi ungakubekezelela ukungaqiniseki okuncane ngaphandle kokukuxazulula, ngokuthula, kuyingxenye enkulu yekhambi.

Lapho ungakwazi ukuwubamba ngaleso sikhathi

Ngezinye izikhathi umcabango uhamba ngokushesha kakhulu, noma ukhukhulwe kakhulu ukuze ucabange kahle. Lokho kujwayelekile, futhi akusho ukuthi ikhono lehlulekile.

Izinto ezimbili ziyasiza. Okokuqala, ungenza yonke le nqubo kamuva, ekuthuleni okulandelayo, ngendlela obungabuyekeza ngayo ingxoxo ecindezelekile uma isivinini senhliziyo yakho sesibuyele phansi. Ukuphindaphinda kusabalulekile. Okwesibili, lapho uvuselelwe kakhulu ukuze ucabange, zinzisa umzimba wakho ngaphambi kokuba uzame ukubonisana nengqondo yakho. Ukuphefumula ngaphandle okude, okuhambisayo, izinyawo zakho phansi, amahlombe akho ehla. Awukwazi ukuphikisana nesixwayiso ngesikhathi isixwayiso sikhala. Sithulise kancane kuqala, bese uhlola umcabango.

Futhi qaphela ukubuka kabusha okuncane i-NHS ekwenza kahle: lokhu ngeke kwenze izinkinga zakho zinyamalale. Ukukhathazeka kwangempela kungahlala kungokoqobo ngemva kokuba usukuhlolile. Okushintshayo ukuthi uyeka ukukuphindaphinda. Usuka "lokhu kuyinhlekelele futhi anginamandla" uye "lokhu kuyinto enzima futhi nakhu isinyathelo esilandelayo esinengqondo." Lokho shintsho, uma kuphindwa, yikho okuxegisa ukubamba kokukhathazeka emavikini nasezinyangeni.

Kwenze kube umkhuba othulile

Lokhu kusebenza kahle kakhulu njengokuzijwayeza, hhayi njengokutakula. Izindlela ezimbalwa zokukwakha ngaphandle kokuba kube omunye umsebenzi onzima:

• Gcina irekhodi lomcabango elingahleliwe iviki lonke. Isimo, umcabango, ukuthi ubukukholelwa kangakanani, bese ukuhlola kwakho nokubuka kwakho kabusha. Amaphethini ayaqhamuka ngokushesha, futhi abantu abaningi bathola imicabango emibili noma emithathu efanayo eqhuba iviki labo.
• Khetha ukukhathazeka okukodwa okuphindaphindekayo bese uba nekhono lokuphendula lokho. Awudingi ukulungisa yonke indlela yakho yokucabanga. Ukubuka kabusha okukodwa osukujwayele okuthembayo kubaluleke ngaphezu kwamashumi amabili owazama kanye.
• Lindela umcabango omdala uqhubeke uvela. Ukubuka kabusha akusikho ukususa. Kuwukuba nempendulo ezinzile elungele lapho ukukhathazeka kungqongqoza, ukuze kungqongqoze ngamandla amancane isikhathi ngasinye.

Uqeqesha umkhuba wengqondo, futhi njengomkhuba noma yimuphi uba lula futhi wenzeke ngokuzenzakalelayo ngokwengeziwe uma uwenza kaningi.

Nini ofinyelela usizo olwengeziwe

Leli yithuluzi, futhi amathuluzi anemikhawulo. Uma imicabango yokukhathazeka iqhuba iningi losuku lwakho, ikugcina uvukile ebusuku, ikudonsa emsebenzini noma kubantu obakhathalelayo, noma uma ukukhathazeka kufika nokwethuka, ubunzima obuthe nse, noma umuzwa wokuthi awukwazi ukubhekana, sicela ukhulume nodokotela noma nodokotela wengqondo. Udokotela omuhle angawenza lo msebenzi nawe ngendlela okungekho isihloko esingayenza, futhi kubantu abaningi izinyanga ezimbalwa zosizo oluhleliwe zishintsha izinto ebezizwakala zingunaphakade.

Ukufinyelela kulokho akulona uphawu lokuthi awuzamanga ngokwanele wedwa. Eminye imicabango isinda kakhulu ukuyiphakamisa wedwa, futhi wawungakaze uhloselwe khona. Uma nganoma yisiphi isikhathi imicabango iphendukela ekungafuni ukuba lapha, kuphathe njengesizathu sokukhuluma nomuntu namuhla, hhayi ekugcineni. Ufanelwe ubungane ezingxenyeni ezinzima, futhi bakhona abantu umsebenzi wabo wonke okuwukuhlala kuzo nawe.

Imithombo

• NHS, Reframing unhelpful thoughts · Every Mind Matters
• Harvard Health, How to recognize and tame your cognitive distortions
• National Library of Medicine (PMC), Cognitive Restructuring and Psychotherapy Outcome: A Meta-Analytic Review
• NHS, Thought record CBT exercise · Every Mind Matters