Amathiphu asheshayo
- Kuhlunge: ngingenza okuthile, noma ngikhathazeke nje.
- Hambisa 'ukuthiwani uma' kuze kufike phansi kwako kwangempela.
- Tshela ukukhathazeka ukuthi uzokubhekana nako kamuva.
Ngokuvamile kuqala kukuncane kangangokuthi ubungeke ukubize ngokuthi ukukhathazeka. Umsebenzi okanye wakho uhlela umhlangano ongenaso isihloko. Ingane yakho eseyintsha ayikaphenduli umyalezo. Kunobuhlungu obuncane ohlangothini lwakho obebungekho izolo. Bese kuvela umbuzo owodwa, othule futhi ozwakala unengqondo: kuthiwani uma?
Kuthiwani uma umhlangano umayelana nomsebenzi wakho. Kuthiwani uma kwenzeke okuthile endleleni. Kuthiwani uma lobu buhlungu obuncane kuyinto ebucayi. Umbuzo ngamunye uzwakala njengokuqaphela okufanele, njengokungathi uzibophezela ngokucabanga ngaphambili. Ngakho uyawuphendula. Bese impendulo ikunika elinye 'kuthiwani uma' elisha, lelo libi kakhulu, futhi uphendula nalo. Emizuzwini eyishumi kamuva awusakhathazeki ngomyalezo ongafikanga. Usuzicabangela igumbi lokulinda esibhedlela. Usuhambe usuka ebusuku obuthule waya enhlekeleleni ngaphandle kokusuka esihlalweni, futhi inhliziyo yakho ishaya sengathi inhlekelele isegumbini nawe.
Yileso-ke isikhwishikhwishi 'sokuthiwani uma'. Cishe wonke umuntu uke wehla ngaso. Akulona iphutha lesimilo, futhi akusho ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle ngawe. Kusho ukuthi unengqondo ejwayelekile eyenza khona kanye lokho izingqondo ezakhelwe ukukwenza, kodwa nje ekhomba endaweni engasizi.
Ingqondo yakho icabanga ukuthi iyakuvikela
Nasi isigaba okufanele usicabangisise. Isikhwishikhwishi akulona iphutha lokusebenza. Kuyisici sokuphepha esisebenza ngokushisa okweqile.
Esikhathini esiningi somlando wesintu, abantu abasinda kwakuyilabo ababecabanga ingozi ngaphambi kokuba ifike. Umsindo otshanini ungahle ube umoya, noma ube isilwane esidla ezinye, kanti ukhokho owacabanga ukuthi kuyisilwane esidla ezinye wabaleka waphila waze wazala abantwana. Ngakho sazuza ingqondo elolonga izinsongo. I-Cleveland Clinic ichaza ukucabanga inhlekelele njengohlobo 'lokuphupha emini ngokubi,' lapho ingqondo iphatha umphumela omubi kakhulu ongenzeka sengathi uyiwona ongenzeka kakhulu. Umuzwa owake wasigcina siphila manje uphaphamela ama-imeyili angafundwanga nezinhlungu ezingajwayelekile, futhi awukwazi ukubona umehluko.
Kunesizathu sokuthi kuzwakale kuphuthuma kangaka. Ukukhathazeka kuyingxenye yokucabanga yovalo. I-American Psychological Association ichaza uvalo njengesimo esibheke esikhathini esizayo, ukulindela inhlekelele noma ishwa elisondelayo. Ukwesaba kumayelana nengozi ephambi kwakho khona manje. Uvalo lumayelana nengozi engakenzeki futhi engahle ingalokothi yenzeke, okuyisona kanye isizathu sokuthi ukukhathazeka kungabi nomkhawulo wemvelo. Isilwane esidla ezinye sangempela sikudla noma sihambe. Esicatshangelwayo singabuywa siqanjwe kaninginingi, phakade, ngoba akukho lutho egumbini olulokhu lukuxazulula.
Okusiletha ecebeni elinonya kakhulu lesikhwishikhwishi. Kuzwakala kukhiqiza. Ngenkathi ushaya phansi izimo ezimbi kakhulu, ingxenye ethile yakho ikholelwa ukuthi uxazulula okuthile, uphuma phambili kukho, wenqaba ukuthathwa ungalindele. Kodwa awuxazululi nkinga. Ulolonga ubuhlungu ongeke usaze ubuzwe, kanti umzimba wakho ukhokhela lo mdlalo ngaso leso sikhathi, ngesifuba esiqinile nenhliziyo eshayshayayo nobusuku bobuthongo obuncane.
Ukukhathazeka akusiso isitha
Bekungaba lula ukufunda konke lokhu njengokuthi 'yeka ukukhathazeka,' kodwa lesi seluleko asenzeki futhi asilungile. Inani elithile lokukhathazeka luyasiza. I-Harvard Health ikubeka ngokusobala: ukukhathazeka okuvamile kungakulola ngempela ukunaka kwakho futhi kukusize uxazulule izinkinga. Ukukhathazeka okukwenza uphuthume ushaje wefoni, uphinde uhlole umthamo wamaphilisi, noma ulungiselele ingxoxo enzima kwenza umsebenzi wako.
Inkinga akusikho ukuthi uyakhathazeka. Yikuthi isikhwishikhwishi sithatha ukukhathazeka obekungaholela esenzweni bese sikuguqula kunalokho kube indaba engaholeli ndawo. Ukukhathazeka okuwusizo kuphetha ngecebo. Ukukhathazeka kwesikhwishikhwishi kuphetha 'ngokuthiwani uma' okubi kakhulu.
Umbuzo wokuqala oshintsha konke
Uma uqaphela ukuthi uyajikeleza, into eyodwa ewusizo kakhulu ongayibuza yile:
I-NHS ifundisa uhlobo lwalokhu ngento abayibiza ngokuthi isihlahla sokukhathazeka. Bamba ukukhathazeka, bese uyakuhlunga. Uma kuyinto ongenza ngempela okuthile ngayo, indlela eya phambili yisenzo: nquma ukuthi uzokwenzani, kanjani, futhi nini, bese uyenza leyo nto noma uyihlele. Uma kuyinto ecatshangelwayo ongeke uyilawule, indlela eya phambili ihlukile. Alikho icebo elingenziwa, ngoba akukho lutho okungenziwa ngalo. Umsebenzi lapho ukuyiyeka ihambe, okunzima kakhulu, futhi sizofika kukho.
Ukukhathazeka okuningi kwesikhwishikhwishi kungohlobo lwesibili. 'Kuthiwani uma ngigula ngelinye ilanga' akunaso isenzo esixhunyiwe kukho. 'Kuthiwani uma indiza yami iphuza futhi ngiphuthelwa uxhumano' kungahle kube naso. Ukukuhlunga kukutshela ukuthi umsebenzi wakho khona manje uwukwenza okuthile noma ukuyeka okuthile. Uyayeka ukuzama ukuxazulula inkinga engakabi yinkinga.
Ukulandela 'ukuthiwani uma' kuze kufike phansi
Kunesinyathelo esiphambene nomcabango abasisebenzisayo ochwepheshe bezengqondo, futhi siyasebenza ngoba siphendulela amandla esikhwishikhwishi kuso ngokwaso. Esikhundleni sokulwa 'nokuthiwani uma,' uyakuqedela.
Isikhwishikhwishi sihlala sisabeka ngokwengxenye ngoba asikaze sifike phansi. Sikugcina ulenga ngesigamu somzuzwana ngaphambi kwenhlekelele, lapho konke kuwuvalo futhi akukho lutho oluqondile. Ngakho thatha intambo bese uyihambisa kuze kube sekugcineni ngamabomu.
- Qamba ukwesaba ngomlomo noma ephepheni. 'Kuthiwani uma ngilahlekelwa yilo msebenzi.' Okuqondile, ngamazwi acacile. Uvalo olungacacile lunzima kunokwesaba okuqanjiwe.
- Bese kwenzekani? 'Bese ngingabi nawo umholo.' Qhubeka. Ungathikazi.
- Bese kwenzekani futhi? 'Bese ngithinta imali eyongiwe, ngifake isicelo sezinzuzo, futhi ngiqale ukufaka izicelo zomsebenzi. Bengingatshela umndeni wami. Bengingesaba.'
- Bese kwenzekani futhi? Qhubeka uhamba uze ufike phansi ngempela, hhayi lapho okucatshangelwayo. Ngokuvamile ufika endaweni enjengale: 'Bekungaba nzima isikhashana, bese ngiyakuxazulula, ngendlela engike ngaxazulula ngayo izinto ezinzima ngaphambili.'
Isikhwishikhwishi sithembisa ukuwa okungenamkhawulo. Cishe njalo, uma ufika phansi ngempela, uthola inguqulo yakho ekwazi ukumelana. Hhayi ejabulile, kodwa ekwazi ukumelana. Esindayo. Yilelo iqiniso isikhwishikhwishi esikufihlela lona, ngoba asilokothi sikuvumele ufike ekupheleni komusho. Ukukuqedela ngamabomu yindlela othola ngayo ukuthi phansi lukhona.
Yenza ngobumnene ngalokhu. Uma ukuhamba edabeni elibi kakhulu kukwenza uzizwe kabi kunokuba uqine, akudingeki ukuphoqe. Yima, bese usebenzisa esinye sezinye izinsiza esikhundleni salokho.
Kubambe, kuqambe, kuzinzise
Uma isikhwishikhwishi sesihamba ngokushesha futhi umzimba wakho usukuso, udinga into esheshayo kunokucabangisisa. Ukucabangisisa kunzima uma inhliziyo yakho ishaya kabi. Zama lolu hlelo.
Kubambe. Vele uqaphele. 'Ngiyajikeleza.' Lokho kuzwakala kulula kakhulu ukuze kube nendaba, kodwa ukuqamba isikhwishikhwishi njengesikhwishikhwishi kudala umsantsa wesikhala phakathi kwakho nemicabango. Uba umuntu obukele imicabango esikhundleni somuntu ominza kuyo. I-Cleveland Clinic incoma ukubhala ngokusobala imicabango yenhlekelele njengoba ivela, uyibize ngalokho eyikho, ngoba umcabango owubhalile awukubambe kangako njengalowo owukholiwe.
Zinzisa umzimba wakho. Awukwazi ukucabanga uze uzole umzimba wakho ukhala isexwayiso, ngakho zinzisa umzimba kuqala. Gxilisa izinyawo zakho phansi. Donsa umoya kancane bese wenza ukuphefumula okuphumayo kube kude kunokuphefumula okungenayo. Qamba izinto ezinhlanu ongazibona egumbini. Lokhu kudonsa ukunaka kwakho kukususe esikhathini esizayo esicatshangelwayo kukubuyisele esikhathini samanje sangempela, lapho inhlekelele ingenzeki khona.
Hlola ubufakazi, ngomusa. Uma usehle kancane, buza imibuzo umngane onobulungiswa ayengayibuza. Ngabe lokhu kwesaba okuqondile kwake kwenzeka ngempela ngaphambili? Kukangaki ngikhathazeke ngento efana nale kodwa ngagcina ngiphila kahle? Iyiphi umphumela ongenzeka kakhulu, hhayi omubi kunayo yonke? Awuzami ukuzikhulumela ekujabuleni okungamanga. Wandisa inkambu yezinto ezingenzeka isikhwishikhwishi ebesizincishise zaba yinye kuphela.
Nika ukukhathazeka kwakho isikhathi esimisiwe
Uma ukukhathazeka kuvela kuzo zonke izikhathi ikakhulukazi ngo-2 ekuseni, esinye sezinsiza eziqine kakhulu futhi siyisona esizwakala siyinqaba kakhulu. Unika ukukhathazeka isikhathi.
I-NHS incoma ukubekela eceleni isikhathi esifushane, imizuzu eyishumi noma eyishumi nanhlanu, ngesikhathi esifanayo nsuku zonke, ngokufanele kungabi ngaphambi kokulala. Yileso isikhathi sakho sokukhathazeka. Phakathi nosuku, uma ukukhathazeka kuvela, awuphikisani nakho futhi awukulandeli phansi. Uyakutshela, 'Hhayi manje. Ngizofika kuwe ngo-6.' Bese uyakubhala phansi ubuyele kunoma yini obuyenza.
Lokhu kuzwakala njengeqhinga, futhi ngandlela thile kuyilo, kodwa kuyasebenza ngezizathu zangempela. Awucindezeli ukukhathazeka, okuvame ukubuyela emuva kwenze kube nomsindo omkhulu. Uyakuhlehlisa, okuyinto ingqondo eyamukela kalula kakhulu ngoba uthembisile ukubuya. Izinto ezimbili zivame ukwenzeka. Okukhathazeka okuningi kuzwakala kuncane ngesikhathi sokuhlangana sifika, noma sekuzixazululile ngokuphelele, futhi uthola ukuthi awusakhumbuli nokuthi kungani kwakubonakala kuphuthuma kangaka emini. Kanti lokho okusamile kuthola ukunaka kwakho okugcwele emini, lapho ungacabanga khona ngempela, esikhundleni sokucabanga ngezingcezu ngenkathi uzama ukuphila ezinye izikhathi zakho. Emavikini ambalwa, kwenzeka nokunye okuthulile. Uqala ukwethemba ukuthi ukukhathazeka kuzothola ithuba lako, ngakho kuyeka ukungqongqoza emnyango njalo. Lokho kwethemba yiwona mklomelo wangempela. Yiwo umehluko phakathi kwengqondo ekuphazamisa usuku lonke neyodwa eyaziyo ukuthi inesikhathi futhi ingasilinda.
Nini okufanele ulethe usizo olwengeziwe
Lezi zinsiza zezikhwishikhwishi zansuku zonke, uhlobo oluvela bese ludlula. Kwesinye isikhathi ukukhathazeka kuyazinza kuyeke ukuhamba, futhi leso yisimo esihlukile esifanelwe ukusekelwa kwangempela.
Kubalulekile ukukhuluma nodokotela noma nochwepheshe wezengqondo uma ukukhathazeka kuvela izinsuku eziningi futhi ungakwazi ukukuvala, uma kudla ubuthongo bakho, ukunaka kwakho, noma injabulo yakho yezinto obuvame ukuzithanda, noma uma ukujikeleza kukuphoqa ukuba ugweme abantu nezindawo obungazifuna empilweni yakho. I-Harvard Health ichaza uhlobo lwendawo ephakathi nendawo, lapho uvalo lungasasizi luqale ukuvimbela kodwa lungezwakali njengesifo esigcwele. Leyo ndawo isesona sizathu esihle ngokuphelele sokufinyelela osizweni. Akudingeki ube esimweni esibucayi ukuze ufanelwe usizo, futhi akudingeki ulinde kuze kube yinto engabekezeleleki.
Kunohlobo oluthile lokukhululeka kulokhu okunzima ukukuchaza uze ukuzwe. Uchwepheshe wezengqondo omuhle ngeke akutshele ukuthi uyeke ukukhathazeka. Uzokusiza ushintshe ubudlelwano bakho nokukhathazeka, ukuze ama-'kuthiwani uma' asafike kodwa angabe esaphatha indawo. I-Cognitive behavioral therapy, okuyinto eningi esiyibolekile lapha, inomlando oqinile walokhu kanye.
Isikhwishikhwishi cishe sizophinda sikuvakashele futhi. Kulungile lokho. Akudingeki unqobe ingqondo yakho noma ungabi nomcabango onovalo, ngoba lokho akuzange kunikezelwe kunoma ubani. Kudingeka nje ubambe 'ukuthiwani uma' ngokushesha kancane isikhathi ngasinye, ubuze ukuthi ngabe kuyinkinga noma yinto engenzeka, futhi ukhumbule ukuthi usufike phansi kwalezi zinto ngaphambili wathola umhlaba lapho. Imicabango iyavunyelwa ukuvela. Ayivunyelwa ukunquma ukuthi kwenzekani okulandelayo. Leyo ngxenye isengeyakho.
Imithombo
- Cleveland Clinic, Are You Catastrophizing? Here's How You Can Manage Those Thoughts
- NHS, Every Mind Matters, Tackling your worries
- Harvard Health, Do I have anxiety or worry: What's the difference?
- American Psychological Association, Anxiety