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Amathiphu asheshayo
- Sho igama uqobo: Ngidabukile.
- Kuzwe ngamabomu imizuzu eyishumi.
- Yenza into encane eyodwa ngaphambi kokuba ulungele.
Ezinye izinsuku ekuseni ubunzima buvele bukhona lapho uvula amehlo akho. Akukho okumangazayo okwenzekile. Ikhofi linambitheka ngendlela efanayo, igumbi libukeka lifanayo, kodwa umbala usuphumile ezintweni futhi usuku olusaphambili luzwakala lingaphezu kwalokho onakho phakathi kwakho. Ungahle ungakwazi ngisho nokukhomba isizathu. Uzizwa nje uphansi.
Into yokuqala efanele ukushiwo ukuthi lokhu akulona uphawu lokuthi kukhona okungalungile ngawe. Usizi luyimizwa ejwayelekile yomuntu, ejwayelekile njengendlala noma ukukhathala, futhi cishe wonke umuntu udlula kulo kaningi kunalokho akuvezayo. Luvame ukuvela mayelana nokulahlekelwa ngomqondo obanzi: umuntu, ithemba, inguqulo yempilo yakho obuyithembele, ngezinye izikhathi kungabikho okuthile ongakuqamba. Kuyindlela yengqondo yokukwehlisa ijubane ukuze ubale okuthile okwakubalulekile.
Okwenza usizi lube nzima akuvamile ukuba yimizwa uqobo. Yikho konke esikwenzayo ukuze sibalekele lona.
Isifiso sokulubaleka
Lapho umoya ophansi ufika, iningi lethu lifinyelela emasangweni okuphuma. Siyaskrola. Sithela isiphuzo. Sizigqiba emsebenzini, noma ezinkingeni zomunye umuntu, noma esikrinini esingaceli lutho kithi. Sizitshela ukuthi masiphume kukho bese sizizwa sinamahloni kancane uma singakwazi.
Lezo zinyathelo ziyaqondakala. Zivame ukungasebenzi isikhathi eside. Imizwa oyenqabayo ukuyizwa ayihambi. Iyalinda, futhi ivame ukubuya inomsindo omkhulu, ngoba ingxenye yakho manje izibhekile lonke usuku. Ukucindezela usizi phansi futhi kunenani ongase ungalinaki kulowo mzuzu: kucindezela yonke into, hhayi izingxenye eziphansi kuphela. Udonga elifanayo eligcina usizi ngaphandle ligcina nokufudumala ngaphandle.
Kunenketho ethambile, futhi izwakala ilula kakhulu. Uvumela imizwa ibe khona. Hhayi kuze kube phakade, hhayi njengendlela yokuphila. Kuphela isikhathi eside ngokwanele sokuyeka ukulwa nayo.
Qamba lokho okuzwayo
Nakhu into encane eyenza okungaphezu kwalokho okufanele. Beka imizwa emazwini.
Lapho abacwaningi e-UCLA bebheka ubuchopho babantu ngenkathi bebuka izithombe ezikhathazayo, kwenzeka okuthile okuthakazelisayo ngomzuzu abantu ababiza ngawo imizwa ababeyibona. Umsebenzi wehla ku-amygdala, isikhungo sokuxwayisa sobuchopho, futhi wanyuka endaweni exhunywe nolimi nokuzilawula. U-Matthew Lieberman, isazi sengqondo esisemuva komsebenzi omningi walokhu, ukubiza ngokubeka imizwa emazwini. Isenzo sokuqamba imizwa sibonakala sikhipha okunye ukushisa kuyo.
Ngakho lapho ubunzima buvela, zama ukusho igama uqobo, ngezwi noma engqondweni yakho noma ephepheni. 'Ngidabukile.' Bese, uma ukwazi, cacisa kabanzi. Ngidabukile futhi nginesizungu. Ngidabukile futhi ngiphoxekile. Ngidabukile futhi ngethukile kancane ngemali. Uvalo olungacacile kunzima ukulubamba. Imizwa eqanjwe igama inemingcele, futhi imingcele iyenza ibe yinto ongasebenza ngayo esikhundleni sokuba yinto esebenza kuwe.
Akudingeki uxazulule lutho kulesi sigaba. Usho nje iqiniso ngesimo sakho sezulu.
Yinike indawo encane
Uma usuyiqambile, isinyathelo esilandelayo ukunika imizwa isikhala ngaphandle kokuminza kuyo. Ezinye izindlela abantu abakwenza ngazo lokho:
- Beka isitsha. Zitshele ukuthi uzozwa lokhu ngamabomu imizuzu eyishumi noma eyishumi nanhlanu. Hlala phansi. Vumela usizi lube khona. Qaphela ukuthi luhlala kuphi emzimbeni wakho, emphinjeni, esifubeni, ngemuva kwamehlo. Imizwa ezwiwa ngokuqondile ivame ukugqama bese iyadamba, njengoba igagasi lenza. Iningi alihlali isikhathi eside njengoba sesaba.
- Zivumele ukukhala uma kufika. Ukukhala akukhona ukuchitheka. Kungukukhishwa umzimba owaziyo ukukwenza, futhi abantu abaningi bazizwa belula ngakolunye uhlangothi lwako.
- Kubhale phansi, kabi. Akekho ofunda lokhu. Chitha nje okuqukethwe ekhanda lakho ephepheni, ukukhathazeka, inzondo, ukukhumbula. Ukukukhipha ekuzungezeni kwengqondo yakho ukubeke ephepheni kushintsha indlela okuhlala ngayo.
- Tshela umuntu oyedwa. Awudingi iseluleko. Ukuthi 'namuhla kunzima' kumuntu okhathalayo kuvame kwanele ukukukhumbuza ukuthi awukuthwali wedwa.
Umgomo lapha akukona ukujabulela usizi. Kungukuyeka ukwengeza umgqa wesibili wokulwa phezu kwalo. Imizwa ingumcibisholo wokuqala. Ukulwa nemizwa kungumcibisholo wesibili, futhi owesibili yiwona ovame ukwenza umonakalo wangempela.
Bese unyakaza, ngisho kancane
Ukuhlala nosizi kuyingxenye eyodwa yomsebenzi. Enye ingxenye yinto ezwakala isemuva lapho uphansi: isenzo esithambile.
Lapho sizizwa siphansi, siyahoxa ngokwemvelo. Sikhansela izinhlelo, seqe uhambo, siyeke ukwenza izinto ezivame ukusinika ukuvela kwenjabulo noma umuzwa wokuthi senze okuthile. Lokho kuhoxa kuzwakala kuyavikela. Ngokuthulile kwenza izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu, ngoba into ngayinye oyiyekayo iwumthombo owodwa omncane wanoma yini enhle, futhi ngokwenyanga usuku, umoya uya phansi kakhulu. Kuba isiyingi.
Kunendlela ecwaningwe kahle egxile ngqo kulesi siyingi, ebizwa ngokuthi ukuvuselelwa kokuziphatha (behavioral activation). Umqondo ucacile: esikhundleni sokulinda ukuzizwa ungcono ngaphambi kokwenza izinto, wenza izinto ezincane, ezibalulekile kuqala bese uvumela imizwa iqhubeke ilandele. Ezifundweni, le ndlela imelana kahle nezinye izindlela zokwelapha eziyinkimbinkimbi ngisho nemithi yokucindezeleka kwengqondo, futhi isebenza ngokuqondile ngokuqeda umjikelezo wokugwema nokuxhumanisa kabusha abantu nemisebenzi abayigugu.
Ungakuboleka lokhu kunoma yiluphi usuku oluphansi olujwayelekile. Khetha into encane eyodwa bese uyenza ngaphambi kokuthi uzizwe usukulungele.
- Phuma phandle imizuzu emihlanu. Ukukhanya kwemini nokuhamba okufushane kushintsha ngempela umoya kubantu abaningi.
- Yenza ingcezu encane yokuthile obekulokhu kukulenga phezu kwakho. Geza indishi eyodwa. Thumela umyalezo owodwa.
- Finyelela kwi-ankhora endala, umculo, umngane, ikhona losuku elalizwakala lihle, ngisho noma lizwakala liphelile.
Kwenze kube kuncane ngokwanele ukuthi ungeke wehluleke ngempela. Umgomo akukona ukukhiqiza. Kungubufakazi kuwe ngokwakho ukuthi usengakwazi ukwenza, nokuthi ukwenza kususa umoya, ngisho kancane. Ukususa okukodwa kwanele ukuqala.
Lapho usizi selujike lwaba yinto engaphezulu
Nakhu ingxenye okufanele uyifunde ngokucophelela, ngoba umehluko ubalulekile.
Usizi luvame ukunyakaza. Lufika ngamagagasi, luyaphendula lapho kwenzeka okuhle, futhi luvame ukususeka lwodwa emuva kwezinsuku ezimbalwa noma amaviki amabili. Ukucindezeleka kwengqondo (depression) kwehlukile. Kuyahlala kungahambi, kaningi ngaphandle kwesizathu esicacile, futhi kuletha okungaphezu komoya ophansi. Izimpawu zibandakanya ukulahlekelwa yisithakazelo noma injabulo cishe kuyo yonke into, ngisho nalokho obukuthanda; izinguquko ebuthongweni, esifisweni sokudla, noma emandleni; inkinga yokugxilisa umqondo; umuzwa onzima wokungabi nasidingo noma icala; nomuzwa wokuthi izinto ngeke zibe ngcono.
Umthetho oyisibonelo osizayo, osetshenziswa ngodokotela nezinsizakalo zezempilo ngokufanayo: uma umoya ophansi uhlala ingxenye enkulu yosuku, cishe nsuku zonke, amaviki amabili noma ngaphezulu, futhi uvimba umsebenzi, ubuthongo, noma abantu obakhathalelayo, lokho kufanele ukhulume ngakho nodokotela. Lokhu akukhona ukuba buthaka noma ukuzenzisa. Kufana nokuya kudokotela ngenxa yokukhwehlela okungapheli. Ngokushesha lapho ukucindezeleka kwengqondo kuqanjwa igama futhi kwelashwa, ngokushesha kuvame ukudamba, futhi ukwelashwa kusebenza kahle.
Kukhona isimo esisodwa esingalindi uphawu lwamaviki amabili. Uma usizi lwakho luke lujike lube yimicabango yokungafuni ukuba lapha, noma yokuzilimaza, sicela ukuphathe njengophawu oluyilo bese ufinyelela namuhla, kulayini wezimo eziphuthumayo, kudokotela, noma kumuntu omthembayo. Akudingeki uqiniseke ukuthi kubucayi ngaphambi kokucela usizo. Ukufinyelela lapho ungaqinisekile yiso kanye isikhathi esifanele sokukwenza.
Usizi oluningi aluyona leyo nto. Usizi oluningi luyinhlungu evamile yokuba umuntu okhathalela izinto, futhi lwazi ukuthi lungadlula uma uzoluvumela ukuthi lunyakaze. Uluzwa, uluqamba igama, wenza into encane eyodwa, futhi uvumela abantu abakuzungezile bangene. Akukho kulokho okwenza usuku olunzima lunyamalale. Kusho nje ukuthi akudingeki ulusebenzise wenza sengathi uphilile, noma uzilwa phezu kwakho konke.
Imithombo
- NHS, Get help with low mood, sadness or depression
- National Institute of Mental Health, Depression
- American Psychological Association, Talking the pain away (on Matthew Lieberman's research on putting feelings into words)
- National Center for Biotechnology Information, A Narrative Review of Empirical Literature of Behavioral Activation Treatment for Depression