Uma usenkingeni noma ucabanga ukuzilimaza, awuwedwa. E-USA, shayela ucingo noma uthumele umlayezo ku-988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, imini nobusuku), thumela u-HOME ku-741741 (Crisis Text Line), noma ushayele u-911 engozini esheshayo.
Amathiphu asheshayo
- Thumela umyalezo komuntu oyedwa osudonsele kude.
- Buza umuntu ukuthi unjani ngempela.
- Siza umuntu bese uzizwa ungaphandle kancane.
Kungakushaya usesixukwini. Emcimbini lapho wazi wonke umuntu, esidlweni somndeni, engxoxweni yeqembu engapheli ukududuza, kodwa noma kunjalo lowo muzwa ongenalutho wokuthi ungaphandle kwengilazi, ubukele. Yilokho okuyinqaba ngesizungu. Akuphathelene ngempela nokuthi bangaki abantu abakuzungezile. Kuphathelene nokuthi uzizwa waziwa yini noyedwa kubo.
Ngakho ake siqale ngokucacisa okuthile, ngoba ukudideka kwenza yonke into ibe nzima kakhulu ukuyithwala.
Ukuba nesizungu nokuba wedwa akufani
Ukuba wedwa kuyiqiniso. Ungakubala. Akekho umuntu ekamelweni.
Isizungu ngumuzwa, futhi asilandeli izibalo. Abacwaningi basichaza njengesikhala esiphakathi kokuxhumana okufunayo nokuxhumana onakho. Abanye abantu baphila ngenjabulo bebodwa futhi bavame ukungabi nesizungu. Abanye basizwa kabuhlungu kakhulu endlini egcwele. Njengoba omunye usazi sengqondo we-Cleveland Clinic esho, umuntu onokuxhumana kwezenhlalo okumbalwa ngeke abe nesizungu nhlobo, kanti umuntu ozungezwe abantu angabuhlungu ngaso.
Lowo mehluko ubalulekile ngesizathu esisebenzayo. Uma isizungu bekuyinkinga yezinombolo nje, isixazululo bekungaba ukugcwalisa ikhalenda lakho. Kodwa ungamatasa usalambele ingxoxo eyodwa yangempela. Into oyiswelayo ngokuvamile akubona abantu abaningi. Kungumuzwa wokubonwa ngabantu onabo.
Kungani kubuhlungu kangaka njengoba kunjena
Nakhu okungase kususe amahloni. Isizungu kufanele sizwakale sibi.
Sakhelwe ndawonye. Isikhathi esiningi somlando wabantu, ukunqunywa eqenjini kwakuyingozi ngempela, ngakho imizimba yethu yakha i-alamu yakho, ngendlela efanayo eyakha ngayo indlala ukuze isigcine sidla. Ukungakhululeki i-alamu eyenza umsebenzi wayo. Idonsela ukunaka kwakho ekuxhumaneni ngoba ukuxhumana kwagcina okhokho bethu bephila.
Leyo alamu ivela nasemzimbeni wakho, okuyingakho lokhu kungeyona inkinga ethambile, ekhethwayo. Lapho isizungu sihlala, izinga lakho le-cortisol, ihomoni yengcindezi, livame ukuhlala liphakeme. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi lokho kuguga kuxhunyaniswa nomfutho wegazi ophezulu, izinkinga zenhliziyo, ukuncipha kwamandla omzimba okulwa nokugula, ukucindezeleka, nokunye. Ngo-2023 uDokotela Omkhulu Wezempilo Wase-U.S. wafika ngisho ekubizeni isizungu nokuhlukaniswa ngesifo esibhebhethekayo sezempilo yomphakathi, ephawula ukuthi ukuntuleka kokuxhumana kwezenhlalo kungaphatha ubungozi empilweni yakho ezingeni lokubhema ugwayi omningi ngosuku. Awenzi umsindo omkhulu. Umzimba wakho uyagcina isibalo.
Kukhona ukujika okunonya okufanele kuqanjwe, nokho, ngoba kuchaza ukuthi kungani isizungu singanamathela kangaka. Lapho sesizizwe sikhishwe ngaphandle isikhathi esithile, ubuchopho bethu buqala ukuskena ukwenqatshwa okungaphezulu. Sifunda impendulo yombhalo ehamba kancane njengobufakazi bokuthi akekho okhathalayo. Senqaba isimemo ngoba, ekujuleni, silindele ukuzizwa singabaphandle noma kunjani. Sinye salezo zinyathelo ezincane ezivikelayo zinengqondo, futhi ngasinye siqinisa ngokuthulile isiyingi. Uma ubudonsa emuva ngaphandle kokuqonda kahle, awuphukanga. Uphendula ngendlela efanayo uhlelo lwezinzwa oluzwa ubuhlungu oluphendula ngayo.
Izindlela ezincane zokubuyela kubantu
Ukwenzeka kwemvelo lapho unesizungu ukulinda. Ukulinda uze uzizwe ungowakho, uze ube namandla amaningi, umuntu aze afinyelele kuqala. Iqiniso elinzima ukuthi ukulinda kuvame ukusijulisa. Ukuxhumana kuvame ukuvela ekwenzeni into eyodwa encane ngaphambi kokuba uzizwe usukulungele, hhayi emva.
Akukho kulokhu okulandelayo okudinga ukushintshwa kobuntu bakho. Khetha okukodwa. Kuzame kanye.
- Yelulela ngasogwini oludala, hhayi olusha. Ukuqala phansi kuyakhandla. Kulula kakhulu ukuthumela umyalezo kumuntu osumthanda kodwa osudonsele kude. "Ungicabangelekile namuhla, unjani?" kwanele. Abantu abaningi, kuyavela, bayajabula ngokuthulile ukukhunjulwa. I-Harvard Health yenza lokhu kube yiseluleko sayo esiyinhloko: indlela elula kunazo zonke yokuphuma esizungwini ngokuvamile ukujulisa ubudlelwane osuvele unabo.
- Kwenze into emiyo. Ukuyelula kanye kunhle, kodwa isizungu siguga kakhulu lapho ukuxhumana kuthembekile. Ucingo lweviki nomfowenu noma udadewenu. Ukuhamba kwenyanga nomngane. Umyalezo wokusa nobabili enivele niwuthumela. Kubeke ekhalendeni ukuze kungathembeli ekutheni uzizwa ugqugquzelekile, ngoba amanye amaviki ngeke.
- Shintshanisa ukujula nokukhombisa. Uma ukhuluma nomuntu, zama ukubuza umbuzo owodwa wangempela ube ulalela ngempela impendulo, esikhundleni sokushintshanisa izindaba. "Unjani, ngempela?" kuvula uhlobo oluhlukile lomnyango kuno "Unjani umsebenzi?" Ukuxhumana kwakhiwa emizuzwaneni esizivumela ukuba saziwe kancane.
- Yehlisa ibhamu ngamabomu. Awudingi umngane omkhulu ngoLwesihlanu. Ingxoxo nomthengisi wekhofi, ikilasi le-yoga elivamile, isiyingi esifanayo sokuhambisa inja lapho unqekuzela ubuso obufanayo, lokhu kuxhumana okulula, okuphindaphindiwe kungukondla kwangempela, futhi ucwaningo luyakubala. Kukhumbuza uhlelo lwakho lwezinzwa ukuthi umhlaba ugcwele futhi unobungane.
- Yiba nosizo komunye umuntu. Ukusiza kungenye yezindlela ezithembekile kunazo zonke zokwelapha umuzwa wokuba ngaphandle, ngoba kukubeka ngaphakathi kwento. Yenza umsebenzi wokuzithandela kwenhloso oyikhathalelayo. Nikeza umakhelwane isandla. Ukuxhumana kukhula ngasohlangothini kuyilapho nobabili nibheke emsebenzini eniwabelanayo.
Inothi ngezikrini. Ifoni yakho ingasiza ngempela, ikholi yevidiyo nomuntu okude ingcono kunokungabi khona nhlobo, futhi imiphakathi yamaonline ingaba yizintambo zokuphila, ikakhulukazi uma umhlaba wakho uncipha. Kodwa ukuskrola okungenzi lutho, ubukele imisebenzi emihle yabanye bonke ngaphandle kokushintshanisa igama, kuvame ukushiya abantu abaningi benesizungu esikhulu. Uhlolo olungaqondile ukuthi uhambe wena usuxhumene ngempela nomuntu, noma ubukele nje.
Yiba nomusa kuwe ngesikhathi ukuso
Ngesikhathi wakha kabusha ingxenye yabantu, ungangaki ubudlelwane bakho nawe, ngoba yilelo phimbo oliwa kakhulu.
Isizungu sinendlela yokuphenduka ukuzihlasela. *Kufanele kube khona okonakele kimi. Wonke umuntu omunye usekwazi lokhu.* Abakwazi. Cishe isigamu sabantu abadala siba nesizungu sangempela, okusho ukuthi umuzwa wokuthi wedwa ngokungajwayelekile, cishe njalo, ungamanga. Zama ukukhuluma nawe ngendlela obungakhuluma ngayo nomngane ovuma ukuthi uzizwa ngale ndlela. Ubungeke umtshele ukuthi udabukisa. Ubungamtshela ukuthi kunengqondo, nokuthi kungashintsha.
Izenzo ezincane zokunakekela nazo zibalulekile, futhi aziwona amaklomelo enduduzo. Nyakazisa umzimba wakho. Phuma ngaphandle. Gcina uhlelo oluthile ezinsukwini zakho. Yenza into eyodwa evamile oyithokozelayo, hhayi ukugcwalisa umgodi, kodwa ngoba ufanelwe ukunakekelwa noma kukhona umuntu obukele noma cha. Ukuba ngumngane omuhle kuwe kwenza ukufinyelela kwabanye kuzwakale kungengona umkhankaso wokuhlenga.
Lapho kukhulu kunesikhathi esinzima
Isizungu esiza sihambe siyingxenye yokuba ngumuntu. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi kuwuhlobo olungakhuphuki, futhi kuyasiza ukwazi umehluko.
Uma isizungu sesizinze sesiba yinto esinda kakhulu, uma usulahlekelwe intshisekelo ezintweni obuzithokozela, uma ulala kakhulu noma kancane, uma kunzima ukucabanga ukuthi izinto ziyaba ngcono, noma uma ukuhlukaniswa sekuqhubeka izinyanga, lokho kufanelekile ukukuletha kudokotela noma umeluleki wengqondo. Isizungu nokucindezeleka kuvame ukuhamba ndawonye, ngakunye kondla okunye, futhi ochwepheshe angakusiza ukukwahlukanisa uphinde welaphe okukhona. Ukufinyelela kolwana usizo akufani nokwehluleka ebunganeni. Kuwukwenzeka kwemvelo okuhle okufanayo okwenza ubize udokotela ngobuhlungu obungayeki.
Futhi uma ngaso sonke isikhathi kuze kube mnyama ngokwanele kangangokuthi ucabanga ngokungabi lapha, ngicela ungahlali nalokho wedwa. Khuluma nomuntu manje, umugqa wezimo eziphuthumayo, udokotela, noma ubani omethembayo. Ubaluleke ngaphezu kwalokho isizungu esikutshela kona njengamanje.
Umuzwa uzokutshela ukuba unyamalale. Uyaqamba amanga, ngendlela indlala eqamba ngayo amanga lapho ikutshela ukuba udele ukudla. Umnyango wokubuyela kubantu mncane futhi useduze kunokuba ubukeka usebuphakathi kwekamelo lesizungu. Ngokuvamile umyalezo owodwa nje, othunyelwe ngaphambi kokuba uzizwe usukulungele.
Imithombo
- U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The Surgeon General's Advisory on Social Connection
- Cleveland Clinic, How Loneliness Can Impact Your Health
- Harvard Health Publishing, One Way to Combat Loneliness? Strengthen Relationships You Already Have
- Acta Biomedica (PubMed Central), The Complexity of Loneliness