Amathiphu asheshayo
- Bhala phansi izinsuku ezijwayelekile ongaziphila futhi.
- Khetha izinto ezintathu noma ezine ezibaluleka ngempela.
- Qamba ukuthi okwanele kubukeka kanjani, ngamabomu.
Kukhona uhlobo oluthile lokudumala olubamba abantu bengalindele. Ekugcineni uyayithola into oyifunayo. Ukukhushulwa, isikhundla, inombolo ese-akhawuntini, indlu enegumbi obuhlala ulifisa. Isonto noma amabili kuzwakala sengathi ufikile. Bese lowo muzwa uyanciphaza, izikhala zamagoli zisuka buthule ziye phambili, uzithole usufinyelela entweni elandelayo, umangele kancane ngokuthi eyokugcina ayibambanga.
Leyo nkinga ifanele ukuyicabangela, ngoba imvamisa isho ukuthi ujaha incazelo yempumelelo ongazange uyikhethe ngempela.
Iningi lethu lithatha umqondo waso 'wokuphumelela' ngendlela esithatha ngayo indlela yokukhuluma. Sikuthola kubazali abalinganisa ukubaluleka ngokuzinza ngemva kobuntwana obuswele. Sikuthola esikweni elibeka inombolo kukho konke. Sikuthola kubasebenzi esikanye nabo abakhushulwa kuqala, kumngane ompilo yakhe ibukeka ilula ku-inthanethi, kuwe njengoba wawuzicabanga uneminyaka engamashumi amabili nambili. Ngesikhathi usukhulile ngokwanele ukungabaza noma yikuphi kwakho, ibhodi lamaphuzu selizwakala njengesayensi yefiziksi. Elingaguquki. Elicacile. Elingaphikiswa.
Kodwa liyaphikiswa. Futhi abantu abenza kahle kunabo bonke emsebenzini omude, labo abasemi futhi besengabo ngemva kwamashumi eminyaka, bavame ukuba benze umsebenzi ongakhazimuli wokunquma ukuthi umdlalo uyini ngaphambi kokuchitha impilo yabo bewudlala.
Ibhodi lamaphuzu elibolekiwe
Ngesikhathi u-Boris Groysberg no-Robin Abrahams befunda ukuthi ochwepheshe bazahlulela kanjani izimpilo zabo, badweba umugqa phakathi kwezinhlobo ezimbili zezilinganiso. Ezinye zibalwa kalula: isikhundla, umholo, udumo lophawu olusebheji yakho, izikole izingane zakho ezingena kuzo. Ezinye kunzima ukuzifaka kushidi wamanani: injabulo yokuxazulula inkinga enzima, abantu othola ithuba lokusebenza nabo, ukuthi uyajabula yini uma ungena emnyango ekhaya.
Izilinganiso ezibonakalayo zinesizatho esisobala sokuthandeka. Ziyafundeka. Wonke umuntu uyasiqonda isikhundla. Akekho odinga ukuchaza umholo. Ungaziqhathanisa phakathi kwabantu cishe ngengxenye yesekhondi, okuyikho kanye okwenza kube lula ukuzamukela futhi kulimaze buthule. Ibhodi lamaphuzu ongalifunda ngokushesha yibhodi elakhelwe abanye abantu ukuthi bafunde ngawe.
Lokhu akusho ukuthi imali noma izikhundla akubalulekile. Kubalulekile. Ucwaningo oluthembekile ngemali luthakazelisa ngaphezu kwesiga esithi imali ayikwazi ukuthenga injabulo. Ocwaningweni olucophelelayo oluxazulula ukungezwani okwase kudlala isikhathi eside kulo mkhakha, u-Matthew Killingsworth, u-Daniel Kahneman, no-Barbara Mellers bathola ukuthi kwabantu abaningi, injabulo yansuku zonke iyaqhubeka ikhula nemali engenayo, ngaphandle komngcele ocacile lapho iyekela khona. Kodwa kukhona okucashile kokumaphakathi. Ohlangothini lwabantu abangajabule kakhulu, imali eyengeziwe imvamisa ithenga ukwehliswa kwezinto ezenza impilo ibe nzima, futhi lokho kwehliswa kuyalingana. Ngemva kwephuzu elithile kuyeka ukuguqula lutho. Uma imali kuwukuphela kwesikhali osidonsayo enjabulweni ejulile, ekugcineni iyayeka ukusebenza.
Ngakho isithombe akusona sokuthi impumelelo ayibalulekile. Yisithombe sokuthi incazelo eyodwa, ebolekiwe, ebalwa ngaphandle yempumelelo iyinto encane kakhulu okungalengiswa kuyo yonke impilo.
Kukhona inani lokungawuxazululi neze lo mbuzo, futhi kulula ukungaliboni ngoba yinani lokushiya ngaphandle. Ngaphandle kwencazelo yakho siqu, ugcina usebenzisa leyo esemoyeni okuzungezile, futhi leyo enjalo inokuchema. Idonsela kunoma yini ebonakalayo, engaqhathaniswa, netusayo kubantu ongabazi. Ilahla buthule izinto ezingathwebuleki kahle esithombeni: ikhaya elinokuthula, ubuchule osuwuhlakaniphele, ubungane osubugcine iminyaka engamashumi amathathu, ukungabikho kokwesaba ngobusuku bangeSonto. Ungawina wonke umjikelezo obonakalayo bese kancane kancane ulahlekelwa yizingxenye zempilo yakho okwakungekho muntu ozibalayo. Abantu abafinyelela iminyaka ethile begcwele ukuzisola bavame ukungazisoli ngesikhundla esincane. Bazisola ngeminyaka abayichitha belungiselela isilinganiso abangazange basikhethe ngempela.
Kungani izikhala zamagoli ziqhubeka zihamba
Kukhona isizathu sokuthi loko kunqoba okuzuzwe ngokunzima kufiphala ngokushesha, futhi akulona iphutha kuwe.
Abantu bayajwayela. Noma yini oyijwayelayo iba yinto ejwayelekile entsha ngesivinini esimangalisayo, okumangalisa uma impilo inzima (uyazivumelanisa, uyabhekana nayo, uyalulama) futhi kucasula uma impilo inhle (ukukhushulwa kwenani liba yisisekelo, umsebenzi wamaphupho uba yiLwesibili). Osomqondo babiza lokhu ngokuthi ukuzivumelanisa. Ngamazwi acacile, phansi kuyakhuphuka kuze kuhlangane nalapho umile khona, ngakho umbono ophezulu lapho uyeka ukuzwakala njengempumelelo bese uqala ukuzwakala njengendawo nje ohlala kuyo.
Ukuqhathanisa kwengeza uphethiloli kulokhu. Asizahluleli izimpilo zethu sisodwa. Sizahlulela ngokuqhathanisa nabantu abasizungezile, futhi i-inthanethi manje isinika inqwaba engapheli, ekhethiwe yabantu ababukeka benza kangcono. Abacwaningi abafunda ukuqhathanisa komphakathi bathola ukuthi uma uzilinganisa nomuntu ombona esephambili, futhi ukubona njengesinqumo ngokubaluleka kwakho, kuvame ukukushiya uzizwa umubi, hhayi ukhuthele. Ungenele. Usemuva ngesinyathelo. Ukuqhathanisa okufanayo ngezinye izikhathi kungakugqugquzela kunalokho, kodwa kuphela uma ukubona njengobufakazi bokuthi leyo nto ingenzeka nakuwe, kunokuba ubufakazi bokuthi uyalahlekelwa.
Hlanganisa ukuzivumelanisa nokuqhathanisa bese uthola isikhwishikhwishi cishe wonke umuntu akuso. Ufinyelela umgomo, uzivumelanise nawo, ubheke eceleni komuntu osengaphambidlana, bese umgomo uyanyakaza. Ungagijima lowo mjaho iminyaka engamashumi amane ungaze uzizwe usufikile, ngoba umugqa wokugcina wawungakaze ube yindawo emile. Wawuhlala nje ungu 'okungaphezudlwana kunamanje.'
Indlela yokuphuma esikhwishikhwishini akukhona ukuyeka ukufuna izinto. Kungukukhetha, ngamabomu, ukuthi yiziphi izinto ozifuna ngempela.
Ukubhala incazelo yakho
Le yingxenye ezwakala ithambile kodwa igcina iyiyona nto esebenza kakhulu kule ndaba. Incazelo yempumelelo ongayibiza ngempela yenza umsebenzi wangempela. Ikutshela ukuthi yimaphi amathuba okumele uthi yebo kuwo. Ikutshela ukuthi nini usenze okwanele futhi ungayeka. Iyakuqinisa uma ukunqoba komunye umuntu kusongela ukukuwisa, ngoba ungakuhlola ngohlu lwakho esikhundleni salolo lwendlu.
Nayi indlela yokwakha eyodwa. Kuthatha intambama, hhayi ukuhlehla isikhathi eside.
- Bheka izinsuku zakho ezinhle, hhayi izimpumelelo zakho. Cabanga emuva onyakeni odlule bese uthola izinsuku ezimbalwa ezijwayelekile ongazijabulela ukuziphila futhi. Hhayi izigaba eziqavile. Izinsuku ezivamile ezazizwakala zilungile. Bhala phansi lokho owawukwenza, ukuthi wawunobani, ukuthi amahora ayenani ngempela. Amaphethini avela ngokushesha, futhi avame ukungabi yizinto ezise-résumé yakho.
- Qamba lokho okulungiselelayo, ngamazwi akho. Zama ukuqedela lo musho ngokwethembeka: 'Impilo enhle, kimi, inokuningi kwe____ nokuncane kwe____.' Mhlawumbe umsebenzi ojulile omningi nokwenza umbukiso okuncane. Isikhathi esiningi nezingane zakho ngenkathi zisakufuna eduze. Ukwenza izinto okuningi, ukuphatha ukwenziwa kwezinto okuncane. Kwenze kucacile ngokwanele ukuthi ungenza ngakho.
- Hlukanisa izilinganiso zakho zibe ngezikhethiwe nezitholwe ngefa. Yenza amakholomu amabili. Ohlangothini olulodwa, izinto obungazifuna noma ngabe akekho ozibonayo. Kolunye, izinto ozifuna kakhulu ngenxa yokuthi ngubani ozothatheka. Yethembeke ngokungenamahloni ukuthi izinto zodumo zihlala kuliphi ikholomu. Akudingeki uzilahle. Udinga nje ukwazi ukuthi zikhona.
- Khetha inani elincane lezinto ezibalulekile. Ezintathu noma ezine, hhayi eziyishumi nanhlanu. Incazelo efaka konke ayilinganisi lutho. Yilezi izinto ozohlola ngazo izinqumo zakho ngempela.
- Nquma ukuthi 'okwanele' kubukeka kanjani. Yilokhu cishe wonke umuntu akweqayo, futhi yikho okukususa esikhwishikhwishini. Okungenani endaweni eyodwa ebalulekile, qamba inombolo noma isimo esingaba ngokwanele ngempela, ukuze uma usidlula ukwazi ukuqondisa amandla akho kwenye indawo esikhundleni sokuphakamisa umgca futhi.
Leso sinyathelo sokugcina sifanele ukunakwa okuncane okwengeziwe, ngoba 'okwanele' yigama abantu abaningi abanamagqubu okwenza kunzima ukulisho ngokuzwakalayo. Lingazwakala njengokuzinikela, noma njengokuntula ugqozi. Alilona lelo. Ukuqamba okwanele yikho okuguqula indlala engenamkhawulo ibe yinjongo eqediwe, futhi injongo eqediwe yiyona kuphela ohlobo ongafinyelela kulo ngempela. Ngaphandle kwakho, ukunqoba ngakunye kuzenzakalela kuguqukele kube umugqa omusha wokuqala, futhi awuze uyizwe leyo nto obuyisebenzela ekuqaleni. Akudingeki uqambe okwanele kukho konke. Khetha izindawo eyodwa noma ezimbili lapho usola khona ukuthi ubungaqhubeka ukhuphuka phakade uma kungekho muntu okumisayo, bese udweba umugqa lapho ngamabomu. Umugqa ungahamba kamuva. Wenze nje kube yisinqumo esikhundleni sokuntweza.
Ungazami ukwenza isimemezelo esiphelele. Zama into eyiqiniso ngokwanele ukuze uyisebenzise, ebhalwe ngokucacile ngokwanele ukuthi ungazibona kuyo ngemva konyaka.
Uma uhola abanye abantu
Uma kukhona okubhekile (ithimba, inkampani, ingane ebukela indlela ochitha ngayo uMgqibelo), incazelo yakho yempumelelo buthule iba ngeyabo abaphikisana nayo. Abantu bafunda lokho okuklomelisayo ngokunembe kakhulu kunalokho okukushoyo. Ncoma kuphela ukunqoba okubonakalayo bese ufundisa wonke umuntu okuzungezile ukujaha ibhodi lamaphuzu elibolekiwe, lelo eladlulele lakushiya ungenalutho. Qaphela izinto ezithule ezibaluleke ngempela, umsebenzi onakekelayo, ukululama ngemva kwesikhathi esinzima, umuntu owenza ithimba laba ngcono ngaphandle kokuzitholela udumo, bese unika abantu imvume yokuchaza uhlobo olugcwele lomdlalo.
Abaholi abazinze kakhulu akubona abanezinombolo ezinomsindo kunazo zonke. Yilabo abakwaziyo ngokucacile ukuthi bameleni, okubavumela ukuyeka ukuncintisana kuwo wonke amagxathu ngesikhathi esisodwa. Lokho kucaca kuyathelelana ngendlela enhle kunazo zonke. Kunika abantu ababazungezile ithuba lokwenza okufanayo.
Ezimbalwa izixwayiso ezithembekile
Ukuchaza kabusha impumelelo kuyakhulula. Kungasetshenziswa kabi futhi, ngakho kunezixwayiso ezimbili.
Okokuqala, ungasebenzisi 'ukuchaza impumelelo ngendlela yami' njengegama elimnandi lokuyeka into enzima ngaphambi nje kokuba ibe nhle. Kukhona umehluko wangempela phakathi kokudedela injongo eyayingesiyo eyakho nokushiya eyaba nzima nje. Isivivinyo ukwethembeka mayelana nezizathu zakho, futhi lokho kunzima ukukwenza uwedwa. Umngane othenjwayo, umeluleki, noma umqeqeshi olungile angakusiza uzehlukanise lezi zombili.
Okwesibili, incazelo yakho kufanele ivunyelwe ukuguquka. Uhlobo olubhala uneminyaka engamashumi amathathu nanhlanu akufanele lubophe umuntu oba nguye uneminyaka engamashumi amahlanu. Yiphathe njengombhalo ophilayo, obuyekezwa njalo ngezikhathi ezithile, hhayi isifungo esiqoshwe etsheni.
Futhi uma umbuzo ongaphansi kwakho konke lokhu ungesona ngempela othi 'ngiyichaza kanjani impumelelo' kodwa into esindayo (ukudangala okungasuki, umuzwa wokuthi akukho okufanelekile, umuzwa wokuthi usuhlulekile empilweni engakenzeki ngisho), lokho kufanele ukukuletha kuchwepheshe. Udokotela wengqondo angasiza uma inkinga ingaphathelene kakhulu nezinjongo kepha iphathelene kakhulu nomoya ophansi noma ukukhathazeka okudweba konke. Lokho akusona isiphambuko ekwenzeni lo msebenzi. Kwesinye isikhathi yikho okwenza umsebenzi ukwazi ukwenzeka.
Umvuzo othule walo konke lokhu kunzima ukuwudlulisa ngokweqile. Uma wazi, ngamazwi akho, ukuthi usebenzela ini, umsindo ophansi ongapheli wokuzilinganisa nabo bonke abanye uba nokuthula okuphawulekayo. Usazifuna izinto. Usasebenza kanzima. Uyayeka nje ukugijima umjaho womunye umuntu, bese uqala ukugijima omunye ongajabula ngempela ukuwuwina.
Imithombo
- Harvard Business Review, What Does Success Mean to You?
- Harvard Business Review, Make Your Career a Success by Your Own Measure
- National Center for Biotechnology Information, Income and emotional well-being: A conflict resolved (Killingsworth, Kahneman & Mellers, 2023)
- George Mason University, Center for the Advancement of Well-Being, Social Comparison Processes and Well-Being