Kukhona umuntu omaziyo osezilolonge izinsuku ezine ngesonto ekuseni iminyaka emine. Akabalulekile ngaphezu kwakho kunoma yiliphi elinye igumbi. Akahlakaniphile ngaphezu kwakho, akakufisi ngaphezu kwakho, futhi uma ubungahlala naye ihora ubungathola ukuthi unengxabano efanayo naye ngoLwesibili olubandayo enawe.
Anakho ijimu elimizuzu eyishumi nanye kusuka ekhaya, isikhwama esipakishwe ngobusuku obudlule, isikhala esimisiwe ngo-6:30 okungekho okusigcwalisayo, kanye nomthetho wokuthi yini ebalwayo ekuseni okubi awabhala phansi eminyakeni edlule futhi angakaze aphinde ashintshane ngawo. Amaqiniso amane amancane ngesonto lakhe, futhi akukho neyodwa kuwo eyiqiniso ngobuntu bakhe.
Lezo yizindaba ezinhle kakhulu kunalezo ubuchule obebuzoba yizo. Ubuchule uvele ube nabo noma ungabi nabo. Izinhlelo ungazikopisha kuleli sonto, futhi ungazikopisha ngayinye ngesikhathi.
Ingabe angilona nje umuntu onesiyalo?
Cha, futhi lo mbuzo ukhomba into engalungile. Isiyalo yilokho uhlelo oluhle olubukeka kanjani ngaphandle. Izinhlelo ziyabonakala, zishibhile, futhi zingabolekwa noma ubani.
Iphutha lilula ukwenziwa, ngoba umshini awubonakali lapho umi khona. Umbona umuntu esejimini ngo-6:30. Awusiboni isikhwama esisemnyango, i-alamu engakaze ihanjiswe iminyaka emine, iqiniso lokuthi ijimu lisendleleni eya emsebenzini hhayi eceleni kwendlela, noma umusho owodwa awusho kuye lapho evuka ezwa ubuhlungu. Konke lokho kungukulungiselela. Okufika kuwe umuntu obonakala sengathi ukufisa ngaphezu kwakho.
Abacwaningi bahlala befika endaweni efanayo. Ekubukezweni kuka-2016 ku-Perspectives on Psychological Science, u-Angela Duckworth nozakwabo bathi ukuzibamba okusebenza kakhulu kuncike esimweni: ushintsha izimo ngaphambi kokufika kwesifiso esinamandla esikhundleni sokulwa naso sekufikile. Baphinde baphawule ukuthi kungani lokhu kuhlala kungabalulwa ngokwanele. Uma umuntu ehlela impilo yakhe kahle kubukeka kulula, ngakho sinika udumo ubuntu bakhe futhi asikaze siwubone umklamo.
Ngakho umbuzo owusizo akukhona ukuthi ngabe unaso yini isiyalo. Kungukuthi yiluphi uhlelo olusweleyo.
Ziyini izinhlelo ezine?
Usayizi, indawo, isikhathi, kanye nomthetho wokuphuthelwa. Cishe wonke umkhuba osinda unyaka onzima unempendulo kuzo zone, futhi cishe wonke umkhuba ofayo useswele okungenani olulodwa lwazo.
- Usayizi. Ingakanani inguqulo emncane esabalwa? Hhayi inguqulo oyifunayo ngosuku oluhle. Inguqulo engena ngaphakathi kosuku lwakho olubi kakhulu lwenyanga.
- Indawo. Uhlala kuphi, futhi ubanga elingakanani manje? Hhayi igumbi. Indawo ncamashi.
- Isikhathi. Kwenzeka nini esontweni elijwayelekile? Isikhala esimisiwe sinqoba inhloso entantayo, ngoba inhloso entantayo kumele inqobe ingxabano zonke izinsuku.
- Umthetho wokuphuthelwa. Kwenzekani uma weqa? Kunqunywe kusengaphambili, ngokubhaliwe, ngosuku oluzolile, ngoba ingqondo ekhathele ngo-10 ebusuku ngeke isungule umthetho onobulungiswa.
Lezo zimpendulo ezine zingena ekhadini elincane, okuyindawo efanele kanye kuzo. Zibhale phansi ngomkhuba obuzama ukuwubamba unyaka wonke futhi cishe uzothola ukuthi ungaphendula ezimbili kuphela kwezine. Yilokho ukuxilongwa konke, futhi kuthathe imizuzwana engamashumi ayisishiyagalolunye.
Ungangezi eyesihlanu. Ezine zimfushane ngokwanele ukuzikhumbula ngesikhathi umi emnyango unejezi elingaphakathi uhhafu.
Kungani umkhuba ofanayo usebenza komunye umuntu kodwa hhayi kimi?
Ngoba wakopisha ukuziphatha kwabo washiya uhlelo. Ingxenye ebonakalayo yomkhuba womunye umuntu iyingxenye engelusizo kakhulu kuwo, futhi ingxenye ebamba ngempela iyadinwa, ingeyomzimba, futhi icacele isonto labo.
Ngakho buza imibuzo engcono kumuntu omkopishayo. Hhayi ukuthi benzani. Kwenzeka kuphi, kukude kangakanani, kwenzeka nini, benzani uma bephuthelwa. Uzovamisa ukuthola ukuthi impendulo obuyidinga ibiyinto efana nokuthi \"ichibi lisendleleni yami eya ekhaya\" noma \"ngayeka ukuhlela noma yini ngaphambi kuka-8.\" Lezo ziyathwaleka. Amandla abo engqondo awathwaleki.
Lokhu kuphinde kuchaze ukuthi kungani uhlelo olufanayo lusebenza kumngane oyedwa lubhidlike komunye. Abantu ababili basebenzisa uhlelo olufanayo emasontweni amabili ahlukene, futhi isonto liyanqoba.
Ngiwulungisa kanjani umkhuba oqhubeka wehluleka?
Hlola uhlelo ngaphambi kokuzihlola wena, bese udlula kwezine ngokulandelana. Qala ngosayizi, ngoba yilapho iphutha livame ukuhlala khona, futhi isixazululo ukunciphisa iyunithi yansuku zonke ibe uhhafu ungayithinti inhloso.
Bese uhlola indawo, ngoba izinto ziyafuduka. Isiginci sibuyela esikhwameni, izicathulo zokugijima ziya ekhabetheni, incwadi igcina ingaphansi kwenqwaba yezincwadi zeposi. Akukho lutho olumemezela lokhu. Nje uyayenza kancane le nto, bese uphetha ngokuthile ngawe esikhundleni sokuphetha ngekhabethe.
Bese uhlola isikhathi. Umkhuba ongenaso isikhala uncintisana nayo yonke enye into engenzeka ngalelo hora, futhi uzohlulwa kaningi kunalokho anqoba ngakho.
Bese uhlola umthetho wokuphuthelwa, iningi labantu elingakaze liwubhale nhlobo. Ucwaningo lwemikhuba olufingqwe ku-British Journal of General Practice lwathola ukuthi ukuzenzekela kwama ezingeni elithile kucishe kube yizinsuku ezingama-66, nokuthi ukuphuthelwa ithuba ngezikhathi ezithile lokwenza lokho kuziphatha akuluphazamisanga kakhulu uhlelo, ngoba inzuzo yaqhubeka ngemva kokwenza okukodwa okuphuthelwe. Umkhuba uqinile ngaphezu kwemizwa yakho ngomkhuba. Umthetho obhaliwe yindlela ovimbela ngayo ukuthi isikhathi esisodwa oweqe sibe yisahlulelo.
Kuthiwani uma sengizilungisile zone kodwa kusashelela?
Khona-ke faka umuntu ngaphakathi kuhlelo lwesikhathi. Cishe akekho okhansela komunye umuntu omlindile ngendlela akhansela ngayo kuye uqobo, futhi inguqulo esebenza kangcono akukhona ukuthola umlingani kodwa ukuba ngumlingani.
Imizuzu engamashumi amabili ngesonto ubambe uhlelo lomunye umuntu izokwenzela olwakho okuningi kunanoma yiluphi olunye uhlelo lweselula, futhi kusebenza ngesizathu esingenabuhle: uzogcina isikhathi esibekelwe bona osasishintshile buthule uma besingesakho kuphela. Leso yisihloko esizimele futhi sinesihloko saso.
Imvelo iyabonakala ngemva kwezinhlelo
Nansi ingxenye efanele ukugcinwa. Abantu ababukeka benesiyalo abasebenzisi umzamo ongaphezu kowakho. Ezimweni eziningi basebenzisa okuncane, ngoba bathutha izindleko basuka esikhathini sokunquma bazibeka esikhathini sokwakha uhlelo, futhi ukwakha uhlelo kwenzeka kanye.
Ngakho thatha uLwesibili olujwayelekile bese uphendula imibuzo emine ngokubhaliwe. Yenze usayizi ulingane nosuku lwakho olubi kakhulu. Yibeke izinyathelo ezintathu kude. Yinike isikhala esinesikhathi sangempela. Bhala umthetho wokuphuthelwa ngaphambi kokuwudinga. Bese uyisebenzisa inyanga ungazahluleli nakanye, kunalokho wahlulele uhlelo.
Awuzami ukuba ngumuntu wohlobo oluhlukile. Uzama ukusebenza kanzima isikhathi eside kunalokho ongakwazi njengamanje, futhi izinhlelo yizona ezenza isifiso sisinde unyaka wonke. Zilungise futhi imvelo izovela ngokwayo, igqoke igama lakho.
Imithombo
- Perspectives on Psychological Science, Situational Strategies for Self-Control
- British Journal of General Practice, Making health habitual: the psychology of 'habit-formation' and general practice
- Nature, Megastudies improve the impact of applied behavioural science