Usuyenze le seshini izikhathi eziningi. Uyazi ukuthi ithatha isikhathi esingakanani, uyazi ukuthi ikudla ini futhi uyazi ukuthi uyakwazi, ngoba wawukwazi ngoLwesithathu odlule nangoLwesithathu ngaphambi kwalowo.
Namhlanje kusihlwa umile ekhishini ubala ukuthi ngabe izokwenzeka yini. Lona ngumzuzu ovamile kunayo yonke ekuziqeqesheni. Ufika cishe izikhathi eziyikhulu ngonyaka, uxazululwa ngaphansi komzuzu owodwa, futhi cishe akekho onendlela yokuwuphatha, ngakho uxazululwa yinoma yiyiphi impikiswano ezwakala ingcono ngehora lesithupha.
Lo mzuzu awusho lutho ngesimilo sakho. Usho okuthile ngendlela yakho yokwenza, futhi indlela yokwenza yinto ongayibhala phansi ngosuku oluzolile bese uyifunda ngosuku olukhathele. Nansi ebambayo. Ungaphinde uxoxisane ngomkhuba. Nciphisa iseshini, uye emnyango, bese uyinika imizuzu eyishumi.
Ngenza kanjani into ngingazizwa ngiyifuna?
Qala inguqulo yayo encane kunazo zonke bese uyinika imizuzu eyishumi, bese unquma ukhululekile. Ukuzizwa uyifuna akusiwo umgomo wokungena, ngoba lowo muzwa owulindile uvame ukufika emizuzwini embalwa emva kokuqala hhayi ngaphambi kwakho.
Ukulandelana yikho konke iqhinga. Abantu abaningi balinda ugqozi bese benza, okubeka into ethembekile ngemuva kwento engathembekile. Kuguqule bese ingxenye engathembekile iyeke ukuthwala umthwalo. Awudingi ukuzizwa usukulungele ukubopha isicathulo, ukuvula umbhalo noma ukuthatha insimbi yomculo, futhi yizo lezo zenzo ezikhiqiza isimo obusilindile.
Imizuzu eyishumi yiwo ubukhulu obufanele besithembiso ngoba mincane ngokwanele ukuba ibe yiqiniso ngokusobala. Awuziqambeli amanga ngeseshini yemizuzu engamashumi ayisishiyagalolunye uma wazi ukuthi ukusihlwa kwakho kuncane. Uvuma imizuzu eyishumi, ongayenza cishe kunoma yisiphi isimo, futhi uvuma kusengaphambili ukuthi ukuyeka ekupheleni kwayo kuvunyelwe.
Sho isithembiso ngomlomo ngendlela ncamashi ozosigcina ngayo: imizuzu eyishumi, bese ngiyakhetha. Isithembiso okumele usihumushe kabusha ngomzuzu wesishiyagalolunye akusona isithembiso.
Kufanele ngenze isinqumo kuphi?
Umile emnyango, ugqokile, hhayi uhlezi kusofa. Indawo inquma okuningi kwalokhu kunokuzimisela kwakho, ngoba usofa nomnyango banikeza izinguqulo ezimbili ezehluke ngokuphelele zesinqumo esisodwa.
Leli akulona iqhinga lokukhuthaza, kungukutholakala okuyinhloko kocwaningo lokuzilawula. Ebuyekezweni lwango-2016 ku-Perspectives on Psychological Science, u-Angela Duckworth nozakwabo bathi ukuzilawula okunamandla kunakho konke kuncike esimweni: uhlela izimo ngaphambi kokuthi kufike isifiso esidonsayo esikhundleni sokulwa naso sesifikile. Ukuhlala phansi kuqala bese uzama ukukufuna kuyinguqulo enzima kunazo zonke yalokhu kusihlwa, futhi yiyona nguqulo abantu abaningi abayizamayo.
Ngakho wenze lowo mzuzu ubonakale ngokomzimba. Izingubo ugqokile, izicathulo ugqokile, isikhwama esandleni, umile, usemnyango. Uma usanquma ukungahambi usukhona lapho, leso yisinqumo sangempela futhi kufanele usihloniphe. Isikhathi esiningi uzothola ukuthi usuvele usungene kakhulu eseshini futhi impikiswano isibuyele umuva buthule.
Ngincishise iseshini noma ngiyihambise?
Nciphisa iseshini, ungalokothi unciphise uhlelo lwesikhathi. Ukuhambisela namhlanje kusihlwa okuzayo okungcono okucatshangwayo kushintshanisa iseshini yangempela ngeyokucabanga, futhi eyokucabanga inezinga eliphansi lokuqedwa.
Iseshini enciphisiwe igcina izinto ezintathu iseshini ehanjisiwe eyilahlayo: isikhathi, indawo, nobuwena bomuntu owenze into ngoLwesithathu. Yizo lezo zingxenye eziqoqana. Ubuningi bomsebenzi yingxenye engabalulekile kakhulu ngosuku olulodwa.
Nquma inguqulo enciphisiwe kusengaphambili futhi ngokubhaliwe, ngoba ingqondo ekhathele ingumxoxisi omubi futhi izoqamba okuthile okuwubuqhawe noma okungenanjongo. Ukugijima amakhilomitha amahlanu kuba ukuhamba uye ekhoneni bese ubuya. Ukubhala amagama angamakhulu ayisishiyagalombili kuba ukuvula ifayela bese ulungisa indima eyodwa. Ukuprakthiza ihora kuba ukushuna insimbi bese udlala izikali ezine. Kubhale ngosuku oluzolile, bese ukufunda ngolukhathele.
Kuthiwani uma ngiyeka emva kwemizuzu eyishumi?
Khona-ke iseshini ibaliwe, iphelele, ngaphandle kwemibandela. Imizuzu eyishumi akuwona umzamo wokuzivocavoca owehlulekile noma ukusihlwa okuchithekile, futhi ukukuphatha njengalokho yiyona ndlela esheshayo yokuqinisekisa ukuthi ngoLwesithathu olulandelayo ngeke wenze lutho nhlobo.
Bukhona ubufakazi obufanele bokuthi okufushane kuyabalwa. Ubuyekezo ku-Primary Care Companion to The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry luphawula ukuthi imizuzu engamashumi amathathu yokuzivocavoca okumaphakathi izinsuku ezintathu ngesonto kwanele ukuthola izinzuzo zempilo yengqondo, nokuthi akudingeki kuqhubeke kungaphazamiseki, ngoba ukuhamba kathathu imizuzu eyishumi kuletha lokho ukuhamba kanye imizuzu engamashumi amathathu okulethayo. Inguqulo emfushane akuwona umklomelo wokududuza. Kuwumthamo wangempela.
Esinye isizathu sokuhlonipha ukuyeka ukwethembana. Uma imizuzu eyishumi ngasese isho ihora, khona-ke ngesonto elizayo isithembiso asinamsebenzi futhi uzowuzwa umgibe ngaphambi kokugqoka izicathulo zakho. Gcina isivumelwano ncamashi njengoba sibhaliwe bese usikwazi ukusisebenzisa masonto onke iminyaka. Empeleni uzoyeka emizuzwini eyishumi ngezikhathi ezithile bese uqhubeka isikhathi eside isikhathi esiningi, okuwukushintshana okuhle kakhulu.
Ingabe kuhlakaniphile ukweqa ukuqeqeshwa uma umsebenzi usinda?
Ngokuvamile cha, futhi isizathu asihlangene nobuqotho. Ukuqeqeshwa kungenye yezindlela umsebenzi obucayi othwalwa ngazo, ngakho iseshini oyilahla kuqala uma ikota isiba nzima ivame ukuba yiyona ebikuthwalele ingcindezi.
Lolo buyekezo lokuzivocavoca nempilo yengqondo lubeka indlela okusebenza ngayo ngokusobala: ukuzivocavoca kuthuthukisa umoya nokusebenza kwengqondo futhi kunciphisa ukukhathazeka, futhi kukwenza ngemithamo abantu abaningi abangayifaka esontweni elisindayo. Kufunde njengempikiswano yokusebenza kahle hhayi eyempilo enhle. Iseshini yehora lesithupha iyingxenye yalokho okuvikela umhlangano wehora lesishiyagalolunye. Ukuyinquma ukuze uthenge eminye imizuzu engamashumi ayisishiyagalolunye etafuleni akukhona ukushintshana okungathathi hlangothi, futhi uma wake waba nesikhathi lapho wayeka khona ukuqeqeshwa inyanga phakathi kokusebenza kanzima, usuvele uyazi ukuthi lamasonto amabili okugcina alaleyo nyanga ahamba kanjani.
Kunelinye ilungiselelo elinamandla kunakho konke lokhu, futhi ngumuntu, futhi inguqulo esebenza kangcono kunazo zonke ukuba nguwe umuntu othile amlindele esikhundleni sokuthola umuntu ozokulindela. Leso yisihloko sodwa futhi sinesihloko saso.
Bhala umthetho ngosuku oluzolile, uwufunde ngosuku olukhathele
Isizathu sokuthi kungani lo mzuzu uhamba kabi cishe akulokhu ubuthakathaka. Ukuthi isinqumo senziwa ngehora ngqo lapho ungakulungele khona ukusenza, kungekho mthetho egumbini, ngumuntu ozama ukuba nengqondo ngeseshini asevele wayihlela.
Ngakho thatha imizuzu emihlanu ngale mpelasonto bese ubhala imigqa emithathu kumkhuba ngamunye owubalulekile: inguqulo ephelele, inguqulo enciphisiwe, nalapho isinqumo senziwa khona. Yibeke lapho ungayifunda khona ngehora lesithupha ungavuli lutho. Bese inguqulo yakho ekhathele ayinqumi lutho. Ilandela nje umyalelo oshiywe ngumuntu owayazi ukuthi wenzani.
Yileyo indlela unyaka onzima osindwa ngayo ungalahlekelwa yimikhuba ekwenza ube ngcono kuwo. Hhayi ngokuwufuna kakhulu ngoLwesithathu, kodwa ngokudinga okuncane kuLwesithathu.
Imithombo
- Perspectives on Psychological Science, Situational Strategies for Self-Control
- Primary Care Companion to The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, Exercise for Mental Health
- Nature, Megastudies improve the impact of applied behavioural science