Amathiphu asheshayo
- Misa umusho kunokuwuqeda kabi.
- Phinda ngokuzwakalayo iphuzu lakho lokugcina elicacile, bese uqhubeka.
- Ukumisa amasekhondi amathathu kubukeka njengamandla, hhayi iphutha.
Sekuphele imizuzu eyishumi futhi izinto zihamba kahle. Igumbi likanye nawe, okushoyo kuyabanjwa, bese ufuna into elandelayo, ingekho nje. Umusho owawusuphakathi nendawo awunaso isiphetho. Ivesi owawuyidlalile izikhathi ezingamakhulu amane ayinayo enye inothi elilandelayo. Kuba khona ukuthula okuncane kodwa okuhlokoma kakhulu, futhi wonke amabu ekamelweni asabheke kuwe.
Nakhu okungakaze ukuxoxelwe muntu: lokhu kwenzeka kubo bonke abavame ukwethula, kubandakanya nalabo obungabathi bangabahle kunabo bonke ekamelweni. Abadlali bomculo bomqondiso bayakhohlwa umcabango. Amalungu asebancoko bayikhohlwa inombolo. Umehluko wukuthi bona banento eyodwa ecacile abayenzayo kumasekhondi amathathu alandelayo, futhi kuhlala kuyinto efanayo.
Lolu lungiso lufushane ngokwanele ukuthi lufundwe namuhla, futhi lusebenza kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lwesenzakalo: inkulumo enkulu, ukuvivinywa ngomlomo, ukuhlolwa kwekhono, isikhalo somshado, noma ukwethula umqondo wokuqala kubatshalizimali.
Kwenzenjani uma ngikhohlwa lapho engikhona phakathi nokwethula?
Misa umusho, uphefumule kanye ngesivinini sakho esejwayelekile, uphinde futhi ngokuzwakalayo iphuzu lakho lokugcina elicacile, bese uqhubeka kusukela lapho. Lokho kuwukulungiswa okuphelele, kuthatha cishe amasekhondi amathathu, futhi kusebenza ngoba iphuzu lakho lokugcina elicacile lisagcinwe ekamelweni, ngakho ukuliphinda kukubuyisela endleleni owawusuhamba kuyo.
Ungawuqedi umusho owephukile. Umusho ongeke ukwazi ukuwuphetha uphenduka amagama okugcwalisa nje, futhi lawo magama okugcwalisa yiwo lokho ikamelo ezwa ngempela njengokwesaba. Wumise ngokuhlanzekile, ngisho noma uphakathi nendawo. Ukumisa okuzumayo kubukeka njengomuntu okhethe ngokwakhe ukumisa isikhashana, into evamile ekhulunywa yizikhulumi.
Ungachazi futhi. Ukuthi "Ngiyaxolisa, ngikhohlwe ngokuphelele lapho bengikhona emqondweni" kukudlisa ukunaka kwekamelo futhi akukunikezi lutho, ngoba manje wonke umuntu ubukele indlela ozokubuyisela ngayo esikhundleni sokuqukethwe. Cishe akekho kubalaleli owazi ukuthi wawuyaphi. Wena kuphela owaziyo, okusho ukuthi nguwe kuphela ongabona ukuthi kukhona okulahlekile.
Kungani ukumisa kubukeka kungcono kunokuqhubeka ngenkani?
Ngoba ukumisa yinto izikhulumi ezizethembayo ezenza ngamabomu, kanti ukuphithizela akunjalo. Igumbi alinandlela yokwazi ukuthi ukuthula kwakho kwakungasiyona intando yakho, kodwa lingezwa isivinini esikhulayo, izwi elicaka, nemisho engaphelele kusukela ohlwini olusemuva.
Isivinini yiso esikuvezayo. Konke okunye ngalokho okushoyo kuwumqondo abalaleli okumele bawuhlole, kodwa isivinini kuwuphawu abasibona ngokushesha nangaphandle komzamo. Gcina isigqi sakho esejwayelekile phakathi negebe, bese igebe liphenduka into egcizelelayo. Sheshisa phakathi kwalo bese usuke watshela ikamelo ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle, okuwulwazi ababenganalo futhi abangeke besakwazi ukungaluzwa.
Kukhona nesizathu somzimba sokuphefumula esikhundleni sokushesha. Ngomzuzu ulahlekelwa yilapho ukhona, ukugcwala kwemizwa kufika ngaphezu kwalokho, futhi into yokuqala ekwenzayo iyenza ukuphefumula kwakho kube phezulu futhi kungajuli. Ukuphefumula kanye okujulile okwejwayelekile, okwenziwa ngamabomu, kukunika lawo masekhondi amabili owadingayo futhi kuvimbela izwi lakho ukuthi lingacaki emshweni olandelayo.
Amasekhondi amathathu azizwa njengesikhathi eside kakhulu ngaphakathi kodwa akulutho ngaphandle. Kuzame kanye ngewashi lokubala isikhathi, uzoyeka ukukwesaba.
Yimuphi umusho okufanele ngiwusebenzise ukuze ngibuyele?
Bhala umusho wakho wokubuyela ngaphambi kwesikhathi, ngamagama akho, bese uwuphatha. Into efana no "Iphuzu engifuna ukuthi ulithathe kulokhu wukuthi..." noma "Ake ngiphinde ingxenye ebalulekile," noma nje "Manje, ake sibuyele enombolweni."
Isizathu sokukunquma ngaphambi kwesikhathi wukuthi ngeke ukwazi ukuwuqamba ngesikhathi sangempela. Umzuzu oqondile lapho udinga khona umusho iwona kanye umzuzu amandla akho okuwuqamba esekade eshabalele, ngakho icebo elethembekile wukuba nowodwa osuvele wenziwe. Khetha amagama obungawasho ngempela ngokuzwakalayo, ngoba isisho esizwakala njengombhalo womuntu othile ngeke siphume ngesikhathi sengcindezi.
Umusho owodwa wanele. Emibili sekuyinkulumo mayelana nokulahlekelwa kwakho yilapho obukhona. Wugcine ufushane, ubheke phambili, futhi uqiniseke ukuthi uphetha ngokukhomba kokuqukethwe kunawe.
Bese uwubeka endaweni ebonakalayo. Phezu kwamanothi akho, ekhadini elingemuva kwebheji lakho, ngaphakathi ekhava yangaphambili yefolda yomculo. Leyo khadi kudingeka igcine umugqa owodwa kuphela: umusho owawungeke ukwazi ukuwuqamba ngaleso sikhathi kodwa ongawufunda ngokungenankinga.
Kungani ngiba nesikhala engqondweni engxenyeni engiyazi kangcono?
Ngoba izingxenye ozazi kangcono yizo kanye ezisebenza ngokuzenzakalelayo, kanti ngaphansi kwengcindezi abantu baqala ukuqondisa amakhono azenzakalelayo ngesandla. Ngomzuzu ukulawula okuqaphile kuthatha isikhundla sokunyakaza noma isigaba ebesihamba kahle sodwa, konke kuba nzima futhi kuncipha ukunemba.
Lokhu kuvela ngokusobala kucwaningo. Lapho abadlali begalufa becelwa ukuthi bacabange bezwakala ngesikhathi somdlalo wokuncintisana lapho kunemiklomelo yemali futhi amaphuzu abo ezofundwa kamuva kuyo yonke iqembu, abadlali abanekhono elikhulu baqala ukusho imithetho eminingi kakhulu yobuchwepheshe kunalokho ababekwenza ekuzijwayezeni, ikakhulukazi ngesikhathi be-putting, futhi umphumela wawunamandla kakhulu kubadlali ababenokuvamile okukhulu kwalolo hlobo lokuzibheka. Ikhono labo alizange lishintshe ngobusuku obubodwa. Kwaba ukunaka kwabo okwakhuphukela ngaphakathi kwalo.
Kubalulekile ukwengeza ukulungiswa okukodwa okuthembekile, ngoba inguqulo edumile yalo mbono ilula kakhulu. Ongoti bengqondo yezemidlalo baye baphikisana ngokuthi ukuzigxilela akuhlali kulimaza, futhi okubalulekile wukuthi yini oyinakayo nokuthi kanjani. Ukunaka umphumela, abalaleli, noma indlela okusebenza ngayo into esivele izenzakalela kuyabiza. Ukunaka inhloso elandelayo, isisho, iphuzu, umgomo, kushibhile futhi kuvame ukusiza.
Yingakho ukulungiswa kusebenza. Ukuphinda iphuzu lakho lokugcina elicacile kuqondisa ukunaka kwakho ngaphandle, ekuqukethweni futhi, okuyona kuphela indawo engakubizi lutho.
Ngingakuvimbela kanjani lokhu ukuthi kungenzeki futhi ngokulandelayo?
Zijwayeze ukubuyela emuva, hhayi okuqukethwe kuphela. Kanye ngayinye yokuzijwayeza, uzimise ngamabomu phakathi nomusho, uphefumule, usho umugqa wakho wokubuyela bese uqhubeka. Izikhathi ezintathu noma ezine bese kuyeka ukuba yingozi kuphenduke isenzo esejwayelekile.
Iningi labantu lizijwayeza kuphela leyo nkathi lapho konke kuhamba kahle, okubashiya bengenacebo ngaleso simo ababesaba ngempela. Ukuzijwayeza ukwehluleka yikho okususa ukwesaba kukho, ngoba ukwesaba akuzange ngempela kube ngokukhohlwa. Kwakumayelana nokungazi ukuthi kwenzekani ngemuva kwalokho.
Ngenkathi usenza lokho, zijwayeze nengxenye enzima yodwa nayo, ngesivinini esigcwele futhi ngokuzwakalayo, uqale engxenyeni ohlala uyeqa kuyo. Indawo olahlekelwa kuyo yiyona ngokuvamile indawo obungakaze uzijwayeze kuyo wedwa ngokuthula.
Uma omunye umuntu eba nesikhala engqondweni phambi kwakho
Uzobe uphakathi kwabalaleli kulokhu kaningi kunokuba usesiteji, futhi kunezinto ezine ozenzayo ezingakubizi lutho kodwa ezishaya kakhulu.
Gcina ubuso bakho buvulekile futhi amehlo akho abo. Ungabheki phansi kufoni yakho, ungabheki komunye osebenza naye, futhi ungenzi ubuso obuzwelayo. Isikhulumi esifuna ubuso obuzwelanayo ngesikhathi esibi sifuna into eyodwa nje, futhi ukuba umuntu oyinikezayo kuwumsebenzi wangempela.
Ungabasindisi ngokuqeda umusho wabo. Kubukeka njengosizo kodwa kuwela njengesahlulelo, ngoba kutshela ikamelo ukuthi bebengeke bakwazi ukufika lapho bebodwa. Banike amasekhondi amathathu. Cishe ngempela banendlela yokubuyela.
Bese, kamuva, ubaqambele ukubuyela kwabo ngokuzwakalayo. Hhayi ukuthi "wawumuhle kakhulu," abangeke bakukholwe, kodwa into eqondile: "ulahlekelwe yilapho ukhona ngomzuzu weshumi futhi angikwazanga ukubona lapho ubuyele khona." Iningi labantu alilutholi ulwazi lokuthi liye lakuphatha kahle, ngoba akekho obatshelayo, futhi ukutshelwa kushintsha indlela abangena ngayo kolandelayo. Uma kukhona umuntu eduze ombono wakhe ngabo ubalulekile, kusho lapho lowo muntu engakuzwa khona. Kukubiza umusho owodwa.
Lokho kufanelwe ukwenziwa ngenxa yakho, futhi kunenzuzo kukho futhi. Ukubukela omunye umuntu ebuyela emuva esikhaleni sengqondo yindlela eshibhile kunazo zonke yokufunda ukuthi ikamelo liyakuxolela lokho, okuwukholelwa okuzozinzisa izandla zakho ngosuku lokho okuzokwenzeka kuwe.
Imithombo
- National Library of Medicine, The fourth dimension: A motoric perspective on the anxiety-performance relationship
- National Library of Medicine, Evidence for Skill Level Differences in the Thought Processes of Golfers During High and Low Pressure Situations
- National Library of Medicine, Music Performance Anxiety: Can Expressive Writing Intervention Help?