Sekuyimizuzu emihlanu wethula inkulumo, futhi ihamba kahle. Igumbi likanye nawe, umbono uyafika, futhi unazo izimpendulo zemibuzo obuyilindele. Bese usho inombolo ngokuzwakalayo, kanti umuntu emugqeni wesibili unenombolo yangempela esikrinini sakhe. Ingamashumi amane, hhayi amashumi ayisithupha, futhi manje wonke umuntu uyazi. Kuba nokuthula okuncane ngesikhathi igumbi lizibuza ukuthi uzokwenzenjani ngakho.
Akukho lutho ngehora elilandelayo oselinqunyiwe. Okwenzeka ngokulandelayo kunqunywa cishe imizuzwana engamashumi ayisithupha, futhi leyo mizuzwana inendlela esebenzayo. Kulungise ngomusho owodwa, ngezwi elifanayo, bese uyaqhubeka.
Amagumbi adlula enombolweni engalungile ngokushesha okungaphezu kwalokho noma ubani akulindele. Lokho abakugcinayo yindlela umuntu akuphathe ngayo, futhi leyo ngxenye yeyakho ngokuphelele ukuyibhala.
Ngithini ngokushesha ngemuva kokuthi ngishaye eceleni ngenombolo phambi kwabantu bonke?
Umusho owodwa, ngalesi simo: ukulungisa, bese kuza iqiniso elifanele, bese ubuyela ngqo kulokho obukusho. "Bengishaye eceleni lapho. Inombolo ingu-40, hhayi u-60. Ngakho ikota yesibili yiyona okumele siyibheke."
Akukho sendlalelo. Akukho "uxolo, mina anginabo ubuhlakani bezinombolo." Akukho ndaba yokuthi inombolo engalungile ivelaphi, into engabuzwanga muntu futhi egcina iphutha lisesikrinini eminye imizuzwana engamashumi amathathu. Ukulungisa kuyinto emfushane enosizo ongayisho, futhi ngomzuzu oyishoyo igumbi lidinga ukuthi ube kwenye indawo. Yingakho ingxenye yesithathu ibaluleke njengezimbili zokuqala. Ukuqhubeka nakho kuwuphawu ngokwako. Kutshela wonke umuntu ukuthi iphutha belijwayelekile.
Izinga lezwi libaluleke ukwedlula lokho abantu abakucabangayo. Kusho ngezinga obukhulume ngalo iphutha. Ukwehlisa izwi kuyisimo esivamile kodwa senza okuphambene nalokho okufunayo, ngoba ukulungisa okuphansi kuzwakala njengokuhlazekile, futhi ukulungisa okuhlazekile kutshela igumbi ukuthi iphutha beliyinto enkulu.
Lezi zingxenye ezintathu ezifanayo zisebenza esiteji njengasemhlanganweni, futhi ziyasebenza uma kuthiwa omunye umuntu uliqaphelile hhayi wena. Uma umuntu emugqeni wesibili ethi inombolo ingamashumi amane, awuyivikeli futhi awumbongi isikhathi eside. "Uqinisile, ingu-40. Lokho kwenza ikota yesibili ibe yileyo okumele siyibheke." Imizuzwana eyisithupha, akukho mdlalo, futhi manje igumbi linamaqiniso amabili ngawe: isibalo silungisiwe, futhi ungumuntu ovumela ukuvuselelwa phambi kwabantu ngaphandle komsindo. Kokubili lokho kubaluleke ukwedlula lokho ukuba nenombolo elungile obekungakuletha.
Kufanele ngixolise, noma ngimane ngilungise?
Ukuvuma okufushane kuyasiza, kodwa ukuxolisa okude akusizi. UPeter Kim nozakwabo bacwaninga ngendlela ukwethembana okulungiswa ngayo, bathola ukuthi lapho ukwehluleka kuphathelene namakhono, ukushaya eceleni kunokungathembeki, ukuxolisa kulungisa ukwethembana kangcono kunokuphika.
Ngakho "Bengishaye eceleni lapho" kwenza umsebenzi wangempela. Kungamagama ambalwa, kwamukela iphutha ngokusobala, futhi kukwenza umuntu olungisa okwakhe kunomuntu okumele alungiswe ngomunye. Lokho ucwaningo olungakusekeli ukujikeleza kokuxolisa: i-imeyili elandelayo, ukuxolisa kwesibili ekupheleni komhlangano, ukukuphinda ezinsukwini ezintathu kamuva. Ukuphindwa ngakunye kucela igumbi ukuba libuye libheke iphutha, futhi ngokungafani nokokuqala, akukho lutho olwengeza ulwazi.
Umgomo ulula ukuwubamba empilweni. Vuma kanye, lungisa kanye, bese ungaphindi ukuvuse ngaphandle uma omunye umuntu ekwenza.
Kungani ukulungisa kumele kufake nempendulo elungile?
Ngoba ukulungisa okungenayo into engena esikhundleni kushiya iqiniso elingalungile lihleli lapho. U-Irene Kan nozakwabo, becwaninga ngendlela abantu abavuselela ngayo ulwazi ngemuva kokutshelwa ukuthi into ibingelona iqiniso, bathola ukuthi ukunikeza enye impendulo kuyiyona nto eyayehlisa njalo amandla asalayo olwazi olungalungile, nokuthi ukuhlanganisa leyo mpendulo nokulungisa okuqondile kwakusebenza kangcono kunakho konke.
Yilokho okusekela ingxenye ephakathi yalo musho. "Leyo nombolo ibingalungile" kushiya igumbi liphethe u-60 nophawu lombuzo. "Inombolo ingu-40, hhayi u-60" iyayikhipha. Ukusho inombolo engalungile nengalungile ndawonye yikho okuvumela abantu ukuba babhale phezu kwalokho abavele bakubhalile, okuyilokho okufunayo ngempela, ngoba ingxenye yegumbi ibhale u-60 emanothini ayo.
Kuchaza nokuthi kungani ukuthi "ngizobuyela kulokho" kubuthaka kunalokho okuzwakala ngakho uma usuyazi impendulo. Buyela emuva uma ungenayo ngempela inombolo. Uma unayo, yisho manje, ngomoya munye, ngesikhathi igumbi lisaphethe umbuzo.
Kuthiwani uma iphutha belikhulu kunenombolo?
Khona-ke hlukanisa iqiniso nesincomo ngokuzwakalayo, bese usho ukuthi yikuphi okushintshile. "Inombolo yemali ebuyiswayo ibingalungile. Ingu-40, hhayi u-60. Lokho akukushintshi lokho engikuncomayo, nasi isizathu."
Isibalo esingalungile kuwukushelela kwamakhono, futhi igumbi liyakuphatha kanjalo. Okwenza abantu bakhathazeke ukungazi ukuthi isiphetho sisaphephile yini, ngakho phendula lokho ngaphambi kokuba badinge ukubuza. Uma isiphetho sishintsha, kusho kuleyo mizuzwana engamashumi ayisithupha, bese usho ukuthi ubungenzani esikhundleni salokho. Umuntu obuyekeza isincomo khona lapho, enesizathu, ubonisa yona kanye into igumbi elizama ukuyithola ngaye.
Lapho iphutha liphathelene nokunye okungasikho ukunemba, isethembiso esiphuthelwe, into obuthe usuyenzile kanti awukayenzi, lokho kuwukulungisa okwehlukile futhi kuthatha isikhathi eside kunomusho owodwa. Ucwaningo olufanayo lokwethembana lwenza lowo mehluko: ukuvuma okusobala okulungisa iphutha lamakhono akulona ithuluzi lolunye uhlobo.
Kuthiwani uma ngiqaphela ihora selidlulile?
Kulungise kuwo umzila ofanayo, ngomzuzu ojwayelekile wokuqala, futhi kugcine kuyimisho emibili. "Kunento eyodwa engiyilungisayo kusukela ekuseni. Inombolo yemali ebuyiswayo ingu-40, hhayi u-60, futhi ayikushintshi lokho okunconyiwe."
Umzila ofanayo ubalulekile. Uma iphutha lenzeke ngokuzwakalayo egumbini, umyalezo othulile owodwa kumuntu oyedwa ushiya abanye abayishumi nanye bephethe isibalo esingalungile. Uma lenzeke kudokhumende, lungisa idokhumende bese ufaka umugqa owodwa othi ulilungisile. Kwenze ngaphambi kokuba omunye umuntu akwenze, ngoba umehluko phakathi kokuthi "Bengishaye eceleni lapho" nokuthi "eqinisweni, lokho bekungalungile" kushiwo ngomunye umuntu, ngumehluko phakathi komuntu ohlola umsebenzi wakhe nomuntu odinga ukuhlolwa.
Lokho igumbi elikukhumbulayo ngempela
Akuyona inombolo. Cishe akekho kulelo gumbi ongakutshela ngesonto elizayo ukuthi isibalo esingalungile besiyini, futhi abaningi babo bebengaboni kwaze kwaba ushilo.
Lokho abakugcinayo umuzwa wemizuzwana eyishumi nanhlanu wendlela umuntu aziphatha ngayo lapho ebanjwa, futhi lowo muzwa uyasetshenziswa kamuva, emagumbini ongekho kuwo, lapho othile ebuza ukuthi ungathenjwa yini ngento enkulu. Uma kuphathwe kahle, ukulungisa phambi kwabantu kungenye yezindlela ezishibhile zokufakazela ukuthi izinombolo zakho zifanele ukukholwa, ngoba usanda kutshengisa igumbi ukuthi ubungabatshela uma bezingalungile.
Kukhona inguqulo yalokhu ekhula ngenye indlela, futhi kufanele siyiqambe ukuze uyigweme. Umuntu ongalungisi lutho phambi kwabantu akuyena umuntu ongenawo amaphutha. Ungumuntu amaphutha akhe atholwa kamuva ngomunye umuntu, ngokuvamile ngesikhathi esibi kakhulu naphambi kwabantu abaningi. Ukulungisa ngokushesha kuyindlela eshibhile kulezi zombili, njalo, futhi izindleko ziyehla njengoba wenza kaningi, ngoba igumbi eselike lakubona wenza kabili liyeka nokukuphatha njengesigameko.
Enye into, ngoba yikho abantu abakhathazeka ngakho ngemuva. Ukudlalisa ukulungisa ekhanda lakho usuku lonke akwenzi lutho egumbini futhi kuthatha amandla emahoreni amabili alandelayo omsebenzi wakho. Leyo mizuzwana engamashumi ayisithupha yiyona nto yonke edingekayo. Uma isiphelile, into enosizo esele ukuhlola ukuthi inombolo engalungile ivelaphi, ukulungise lokho, bese uqhubeka nosuku.
Ngakho sebenzisa leyo mizuzwana engamashumi ayisithupha. Yisho ukulungisa, yisho iqiniso elifanele, qhubeka, bese uvumela okusele emhlanganweni kube yingxenye abantu abayikhumbulayo. Bese ubuyela emsebenzini obuwenza, obuhamba kahle, nosahamba kahle.
Imithombo
- PubMed, Removing the shadow of suspicion: the effects of apology versus denial for repairing competence- versus integrity-based trust violations
- Cognitive Research: Principles and Implications, Exploring factors that mitigate the continued influence of misinformation