Ukukhushulwa komholo kwafika ngoLwesine futhi kwakukuhle. Wacela ngendlela efanele, wawunabo ubufakazi, futhi inombolo yanyakaza. Endleleni oya ekhaya wawusuvele ubala izibalo zokulandelayo, futhi lokho kubala akulona iphutha. Kungumshini ofanayo owakhiqiza lokhu kukhushulwa, futhi uhlose ukuwugcina usebenza eminye iminyaka engamashumi amabili.
Kodwa phakathi kwendlela nomgwaqo wakini, kuvela umbuzo othule. Hhayi ukuthi ukukhushulwa kwakwanele yini, leyo enye indaba futhi encane. Umbuzo uthi leyo nombolo iyini ngempela.
Imisebenzi eminingi yakhelwe ukuthenga izinto ezimbili. Imali yeyokuqala. Isikhundla ngesesibili. Kukhona into yesithathu ehleli ngaphansi kwazo zombili, abantu abaningi abakaze bayisho ngamazwi, futhi ukuyiqamba yikho okuguqula eminye iminyaka engamashumi amabili yomzamo kube yinto ekhulayo esikhundleni sento ephindaphindekayo.
Iyini ngempela leyo nto yesithathu?
Imali yinto yokuqala, isikhundla ngesesibili, kanti into yesithathu yiloko obungaqhubeka nokukwenza uma lezo ezimbili sezinakekelwe. Akuyona into oyenza ngesikhathi sokuphumula futhi akulona uhlelo lokuthatha umhlalaphansi. Kuyimpendulo yombuzo othi imali yayizothengani nokuthi isikhundla sasizosetshenziselwa bani, kubhalwe emushweni owodwa omfushane ngokwanele ukuba uwusho ngesikhathi sokukhuphuka ngelifti.
Ezimbili zokuqala zingezangempela futhi ayikho into lapha ezenza sengathi akunjalo. Imali ithenga amathuba, futhi amathuba yiwona enza umuntu ayeke ukwenza izinqumo ngenxa yokwesaba. Isikhundla sithenga ukufinyelela: umhlangano ongena kuwo, ucingo oluphendulwayo, ikamelo lapho kwenziwa khona isinqumo ngawe ungekho. Kokubili kufanele kusetshenzelwe. Kokubili futhi kuyithuluzi, futhi ithuluzi elingabelwe msebenzi kancane kancane liphenduka ibhodi lamaphuzu.
Ucwaningo lukhomba ngakhona, hhayi ngasesifundweni esejwayelekile ngemali. UKillingsworth, uKahneman noMellers bathola ukuthi injabulo iyaqhubeka ikhuphuka nomholo kubantu abaningi esikhundleni sokuma ngomholo othile oyisimangaliso, okusho ukuthi lelo zwi elidumile lokuthi imali eyengeziwe ngeke ikwenze ujabule alilona iqiniso njengoba lishiwo. Iqiniso ukuthi imali eyengeziwe iphendula umbuzo ongazange uwubuze uma ungakaze unqume ukuthi yayiyini. Into yesithathu yileso sinqumo, esenziwe kanye, kubhaliwe, ngaphambi kokufika kokukhushulwa okulandelayo.
Ingabe ukuyiqamba kungangilahlekisela ngezimbili zokuqala?
Cha, futhi abantu abakhathazeka kakhulu ngalokho yibona kanye abasizakala kakhulu. Into yesithathu eqanjiwe ayehlisi umgomo, iyawukhomba, futhi umzamo oqondisiwe uyaphila eminyakeni umzamo okhathazekile ongaphili kuyo.
Umsunguli we-KEEP CALM, uKaʻohele Carlos, uchaza uhambo lwakhe ngezingxenye ezimbili ncamashi. Wasebenza kanzima impilo yakhe yonke ngenxa yalokho ayekufuna, futhi wathola izindlela zokuhlala ezolile kukho konke. Zombili izingxenye zaba nesisindo. Ukuzola kwakungewona umklomelo osekugcineni kokukhuphuka, kwakuyinto eyenza iminyaka engamashumi amabili yokufisa okukhulu ikwazi ukuphileka, futhi yisona sizathu esenza wasamile futhi esalambile lapho kufika into elandelayo.
Leyo yinto esebenzayo, futhi iyasebenza nangoLwesibili olujwayelekile. Ukwethuka kwenza abantu bamukele ithuba lokuqala, bashiye iphrojekthi enzima ngenyanga yesine, futhi baphuthelwe umehluko phakathi kokunyakaza nokuqhubekela phambili. Umuntu onento yesithathu ebhaliwe uxoxisana kancane ngokwengeziwe, ulinda kangcono, futhi angahlukanisa ithuba nento ephazamisayo ngaphandle kokuchitha iviki lonke ngayo. Into yesithathu ayilona ibhuleki. Iyisitiyelo sokuqondisa.
Ngingayithola kanjani eyami ngaphandle kohambo lokuzicabangela noma imibuzo yephepha?
Phendula imibuzo emithathu ubhala phansi, ngesikhathi esisodwa, cishe emizuzwini engamashumi amabili. Imali yeyani, ngomugqa owodwa, kungabikho nombolo kuwo. Isikhundla siqondiswe kubani. Futhi yini ebingasafanele yenziwe uma lezo zombili sezinakekelwe.
Zithathe ngazinye.
Imali yeyani. Hhayi inani, inhloso. "Akekho emndenini wami okuzomele aphinde acele lutho kumnikazi wendlu" leyo yimpendulo. "Izigidi ezimbili zamadola" leyo yinombolo ebhodini lamaphuzu. Uma umugqa wakho unenombolo, usuchaze ithuluzi okwesibili esikhundleni somculo.
Isikhundla siqondiswe kubani. Isithunzi sihlala siqondiswe kumuntu othile. Ngezinye izikhathi kuyisizinda somsebenzi, ngezinye kumphathi wakudala, ngezinye kumzali oyedwa. Ukuqamba izibukeli akulona icala olilethayo, kuyisibalo. Kukutshela ukuthi lezo zibukeli ungazikhetha yini nanamuhla, futhi inani elimangalisayo labantu abanamakhono lithola ukuthi belikhomba ikamelo abaliphuma eminyakeni eyishumi eyedlule.
Yini esalayo uma zombili sezinakekelwe. Cabanga imali isinakekelwe nesithunzi sinakekelwe. Ekuseni kusasa kusenzeka. Wenzani ngakho? Noma yini esalayo emva kokususa lezo ezimbili yiyona nto yesithathu, futhi ivamise ukuba yincane, iqondile futhi kube nzima ukuyisho ngamazwi kunalokho abantu abakulindele.
Manje usunomusho ongakaze uwubhale phansi. Wenze ube ngaphansi kwamagama ayishumi nanhlanu bese uwugcina endaweni ephathekayo, ngoba i-app yamanothi yindawo lapho imisho ikhohlakala khona.
Kuthiwani uma into yesithathu ingumuntu nje?
Usuke unempendulo yangempela, futhi eqinile kunezizathu eziningi ezinkulu. "Lokho engikwenzela abantu engingabaqamba ngamagama" kuyinto yesithathu esemthethweni, hhayi indawo yokuvala isikhala, ngoba kufika nohlu, futhi uhlu lungaqhathaniswa nekhalenda.
Iphinde ibe yimpendulo enobufakazi obude kunazo zonke ngemuva kwayo. I-Harvard Study of Adult Development ilandele iqembu elilodwa cishe iminyaka engamashumi ayisishiyagalombili, futhi okutholakele umqondisi wayo ahlala ebuyela kukho ukuthi izinga lobudlelwano obuseduze bomuntu babibikezela impilo yakhe eneminyaka engamashumi ayisishiyagalombili kangcono kunamafutha egazini lakhe.
Nansi ingxenye eyehlukanisa lokhu kuzo zonke izinguqulo zokubuyisela kamuva zomqondo ofanayo. Ukupha kuvame ukubekwa njengento oyenza uma imali nesikhundla sekunakekelwe: isisekelo, isikhundla ebhodini, isahluko sokugcina sencwadi. Empeleni kuvame ukuba ngenye yezinto ezenza kwanakekeleka. UKaʻohele Carlos ukubeka ngokusobala ngamazwi akhe, njengendaba yeminyaka yakhe engamashumi amabili, hhayi umthetho ngabanye abantu. Enye imfihlo yempumelelo yakhe, uyasho, ukubuyisela nokwenza umsebenzi wokuzithandela, ehlala efuna amathuba okuqeqesha, ukufundisa, ukweluleka, ukuphakamisa, ukuncoma nokumelela abantu abasezungezile, futhi amandla amahle nokwesekwa akuthola kubuya kwakuphindwe izikhathi eziyishumi.
Qaphela okungekho kulowo musho. Ayikho inhlangano, ayikho isheke, ayikho ipati enkulu. Kuyizenzo eziyisithupha ezijwayelekile, futhi yileso naleso siyatholakala kuleli viki kunoma yimuphi umholo.
- Sho igama lomuntu ekamelweni angekho kulo.
- Ncoma into eyodwa eqondile obala, phambi kwabantu ababalulekile kuye.
- Yenza ukwethula kwabantu obungazigcinela kona wedwa.
- Fundisa into oyaziyo.
- Nikela ngekhono okhokhelwa ngalo, hhayi amahora akho kuphela.
- Melela umuntu ongakucelanga futhi ongeke ake ezwe ngakho.
Lokho kutholakala kwazo yisona sizathu sokuthi kungani lokhu kusebenza usendleleni eya phezulu, hhayi emva kwakho konke.
Uma into yakho yesithathu igcina ingabantu, bhala amagama amathathu. Amathathu anele ukuba ngawangempela futhi mancane ngokwanele ukuba abe yiqiniso nangonyaka ozayo.
Inombolo iyithuluzi, futhi manje inomsebenzi
Hamba uyothola ukukhushulwa okulandelayo. Lokho akuphikisi lutho kulokhu, kuyiyona nhloso yakho konke. Umuntu owaziyo ukuthi imali ingeyani ucela okwengeziwe ngokuzola, ubambelela enanini isikhathi eside, futhi ashiye ithuba elibi ngaphandle kokuchitha inyanga ezisola ngesinqumo.
Okushintshayo uhambo lokubuyela ekhaya. Izibalo zenombolo elandelayo ziyaqhubeka, futhi manje ziya kokuthile ongakusho ngomusho owodwa kumuntu okuthandayo. Leyo yinguqulo yesifiso esisaqhubeka eminyakeni eyishumi. Isizathu esiqotho sokukunaka lokhu akukhona ukuthi ukufuna okuncane kuhlakaniphile. Ukuthi ukufuna okuqondisiwe kuhlala isikhathi eside, futhi ukuhlala isikhathi eside yikho okwenza izinombolo ezinkulu zivele nokuvela.
Imithombo
- Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Income and emotional well-being: A conflict resolved
- Harvard Gazette, Good genes are nice, but joy is better