Umuntu ophezulu ube nomusa kuwe kabili manje. Wakunika impendulo eqondile emhlanganweni, wawuthatha umbuzo wakho ngokungathi sína ngesikhathi kungadingekile, futhi ususonta lonke ubhala umyalezo oya kuye. Inguqulo ngayinye iyasuswa, ngoba inguqulo ngayinye izwakala njengesicelo esikhulu ngokweqile.
Izwakala njengesicelo esikhulu ngoba iyiso. Igama elithi umeluleki lisho umsebenzi ongakhokhelwa kuze kube phakade, isibopho esingenamkhawulo kumuntu abangamazi kahle, futhi umuntu omatasa uwufunda njengokubhalisela okuthile angeke akwazi ukukukhansela. Umyalezo awuzibhali ngoba ucela into engalungile.
Cela into encane, eqondile futhi enomkhawulo esikhundleni salokho: imizuzu eyishumi nanhlanu ngesinqumo esisodwa osuzosenza. Bese uyabuya uzobatshela ukuthi wenzeni ngempendulo yabo. Ukwelulekwa yilokho izingxoxo ezintathu ezinjalo eziphenduka kuko ngokwazo, kanti lelo gama alidingi nhlobo ukuvela.
Ngicela kanjani umuntu ukuthi abe ngumeluleki wami?
Ungakwenzi. Cela imizuzu eyishumi nanhlanu ngesinqumo esisodwa sangempela esikhundleni salokho, usho leso sinqumo emyalezweni, bese usho ukuthi kumele usithathe nini.
Isicelo sokuthi umuntu abe ngumeluleki wakho asinamkhawulo, asichaziwe futhi asikwazi ukulinganiswa, ngakho impendulo ephephile ukugwema ngenhlonipho. Isicelo semizuzu eyishumi nanhlanu mayelana nokuthi uthathe isikhundla sesizinda noma uhlale ezinkokhelweni sinomkhawulo, siyathokozisa futhi kulula ukuvuma kuso. Siphinde sitshele lowo muntu into abafuna ukuyazi kakhulu, ukuthi isikhathi sabo sizosetshenziswa entweni engokoqobo.
Abantu bavuma kaningi kakhulu kunalokho okulindele. Ucwaningo luka-Flynn no-Lake, olufingqwe yi-Greater Good Science Center e-Berkeley, luthole ukuthi abantu bathatha kancane amathuba okuvunyelwa lapho becela usizo ngokuqondile, ngamaphesenti angafika kwangamashumi amahlanu. Isizathu ngumehluko walokho uhlangothi ngalunye olubheke kukho. Wena ugxile emthwalweni owubekayo. Bona bagxile ekutheni kuzwakala kungakhululekile kangakanani ukwenqabela umuntu ocele ngqo nangenhlonipho.
Ngakho amathuba angcono kunalokho okucatshangwa yileyo nguqulo eselele kubhokisi lakho. Futhi lapho isicelo sincane futhi siqondile, angcono nakakhulu.
Ngibhalani ngempela emyalezweni?
Imisho emine kuphela: isinqumo esithile, isizathu sokuthi kungani ubuza lo muntu, isicelo semizuzu eyishumi nanhlanu nomnqamulajuqu, kanye nendlela elula yokuphuma.
Okufana nalokhu. Ngikhetha phakathi komgudu wobungcweti nomgudu wokuphatha futhi kumele ngiphendule ekupheleni kwenyanga. Wena wenze kokubili, futhi indlela owachaza ngayo lokhu kuqhathanisa emhlanganweni omkhulu yangihlala engqondweni. Ngingathola imizuzu eyishumi nanhlanu emasontweni amabili azayo ukuze ngibuze imibuzo emithathu? Uma isikhathi singasihambeli, akunankinga nakancane, futhi ngeke ngikuxoshe.
Imininingwane emithathu yenza umehluko. Sho isinqumo sangempela, ngoba inkinga yangempela iyathakazelisa kanti isicelo esingacacile seseluleko somsebenzi siyisicefe. Sho ukuthi kungani kunguye, ngokuqondile, ngoba umyalezo obungaya kubantu abangamashumi amane ufundeka njengowaya kubantu abangamashumi amane. Bese unikeza indlela yokuphuma, ngoba ukwenqaba okulula yikho okwenza ukuvuma kungabizi.
Bese ufika ulungiselele. Imibuzo emithathu ibhaliwe phansi, ufike ngesikhathi, bese uqeda imizuzu emibili ngaphambi kwesikhathi. Ukuqeda kusenesikhathi kuyinto encane abantu abayikhumbulayo, futhi kuyindlela elula kunazo zonke yokuba ngumuntu ofanelwe eminye imizuzu eyishumi nanhlanu.
Kuthiwani uma bethi cha, noma bengaphenduli nhlobo?
Cabanga ukuthi bekuyikhalenda, hhayi wena, bese uyakuyeka ngokuhlanzekile. Ungathumeli lutho izinyanga ezintathu, bese uthumela umugqa owodwa obatshela ukuthi wanquma ukuthini nokuthi kwahamba kanjani, ngaphandle kwesicelo.
Izimo eziningi zokungaphenduli ziyibhokisi eligcwele ngesonto elinzima. Ukulandelela okuthulile okungaceli lutho futhi okubika nje umphumela kuyinqaba ngokwanele ukuthi kufundwe, futhi kukubeka kabusha usuka ekubeni ngumuntu ofuna okuthile uye ekubeni ngumuntu owenza okuthile. Inani elimangalisayo lobudlelwano buqala kulowo myalezo wesibili.
Uma impendulo ingucha wangempela, wamukele njengoba unjalo bese ubabonga kanye. Ungaxoxisani nabo futhi ungachazi ukuthi kungani kufanele bacabange kabusha. Wakha idumela leminyaka engamashumi amabili kanti umuntu owamukela ucha ngobuhle ukhunjulwa kangcono kunomuntu othole umhlangano.
Bese wandisa isikhala. Abantu abagcina belulekwe kahle abanamuntu oyedwa obeluleka, banabantu abayisithupha abangababuza umbuzo owodwa ngamunye. Umuntu okuhambele phambili ngeminyaka emibili uvame ukuba usizo kakhulu kunomuntu okuhambele phambili ngamashumi amabili, ngoba usayikhumbula imininingwane futhi izimpendulo zakhe zisenjalo namuhla.
Ngiyithola kanjani ingxoxo yesibili?
Buyela ubike ukuthi wenzeni ngeseluleko. Leso senzo esisodwa yiso esiguqula umhlangano owodwa ube ubudlelwano, futhi cishe akekho okwenzayo.
Nika amasonto amabili noma amathathu, bese uthumela imigqa emine. Nakhu owakushoyo. Nakhu engakwenza. Nakhu okwenzekayo. Ngiyabonga. Uma ungasithathanga iseluleko sabo, kusho nakho bese usho ukuthi kungani, ngoba umuntu ocabange ngempendulo ngokwakhe uyathakazelisa kakhulu ukumeluleka kunomuntu ovele alalele nje.
Ukubika emuva akuyona inhlonipho nje. Kuwubufakazi obukhona kuphela bokuthi imizuzu yabo eyishumi nanhlanu yaba yinto ethile, futhi kuyisizathu sokuthi kungani umhlangano wesibili ulula kanti owokuqala ubunzima. Abeluleki bayaqhubeka bakhuthaza abantu abaphila kubonakala kunyakaza.
Bese uphatha okuthile ngesikhathi esilandelayo. Awuphezulu, kodwa awuzelanga ungaphethe lutho. Uyazi ukuthi isizukulwane sakho somsebenzi sinjani ngempela, uyazi ukuthi yimaphi amathuluzi asebenzayo, ubona ingxenye yenkampani abangayiboni bona, futhi ungabathumelela indatshana ephathelene nomkhakha wabo abayiphuthelwe. Ubudlelwano obuhlalayo yilobo obuhamba emaceleni omabili, futhi uma obakho bukwenza lokho ngokushesha, buyayeka masinyane ukuzwakala njengesipho somusa.
Nginikani lapho ngingumuntu osemncane?
Nikeza yona kanye into oyicelayo. Wena umkhulu kothile njengamanje, noma ikuphi izinga okulo, futhi imizuzu eyishumi nanhlanu othemba ukuyithola yimizuzu eyishumi nanhlanu ongayinikeza kule nyanga.
Phendula umyalezo obuzowususa. Thatha umuntu okusalele ngeminyaka emibili niye ekhofini bese umvumela abuze imibuzo emithathu. Bese wenza esinye isinyathelo: usho igama lakhe egumbini angekho kulo, okuyinguqulo eshukumisa ngempela imisebenzi, futhi cishe akekho ofundiswa ukuyenza. Kunendatshana engumngane yale kule laybhrari, ethi Becoming the Obvious Choice, emayelana nqo naleso senyathelo: ukukhulumela abantu kunokukhuluma nabo kuphela.
Zimbili izizathu eziqotho, futhi akukho karma kunoma yisiphi. Ukuhlala kolunye uhlangothi lwetafula yiyona ndlela esheshayo yokufunda ukuthi yini eyenza isicelo sibe lula ukuvunyelwa, okwenza izicelo zakho zibe ngcono ngokushesha. Futhi abantu abagcina benabantu abathathu abaphezulu ababakhulumelayo bavame ukuqala ngokukhulumela omunye umuntu bona. Yigumbi elifanayo, umkhuba ofanayo nezingxoxo ezifanayo, ezenziwa emaceleni omabili.
Ukweluleka okuhle kuyivelakancane kunokuba bekufanele. Ucwaningo lweGallup lwesikhathi eside ngabathwasile emakolishi luthole ukuthi ngamaphesenti ayishumi nane kuphela avuma ngokuqinile ukuthi ayenothisha ababanakekelayo, ababajabulisela ukufunda futhi ababakhuthaza ukulandela amaphupho abo. Lelo gebe alakhiwe ngabantu abangathandi. Lakhiwe umbuzo abangakaze babuzwe wona ngendlela encane ngokwanele ukuthi bavume.
Inguqulo ende iyinethiwekhi obungazange uhlose ukuyakha
Eminyakeni eyishumi kusukela manje uzoba nabantu abambalwa ongabashayela ucingo, futhi akekho kubo oyoba eqashwe. Bazoba ngabantu owababuza umbuzo owodwa omuhle, wahamba, wayenza into, wabuya wazobatshela ngayo, futhi abambalwa kubo bazoba ngabantu owakwenzela bona lokho kuqala.
Leyo yindlela ehamba kancane kunohlelo lokweluleka olusemthethweni futhi ethembeke kakhulu, ngoba akukho lutho kuyo oluncike ekufanisweni, efomini noma esimweni esikhanselwa lapho kwakhiwa kabusha inhlangano. Isebenza ngemizuzu eyishumi nanhlanu ngesikhathi, futhi wonke lowo mzuzu uyatholakala kuwe kuleli sonto.
Ngakho thumela lowo myalezo obulokhu uwususa. Sho isinqumo, cela ingxenye yehora, wenze kube lula ukwenqaba, bese ufaka ekhalendeni usuku ozobika ngalo ngaphambi kokuthi ucindezele u-thumela. Bese uthumela owesibili, lowo lapho kunguwe onikeza imizuzu eyishumi nanhlanu. Kokubili lokhu kuwuhlobo olulodwa lwekhono, futhi uzoba ngcono emsebenzini wakho ngoba uzijwayeze ingxenye yokupha kusenesikhathi.
Imithombo
- Greater Good in Action, University of California, Berkeley, Ask for Help at Work
- Gallup, Life in College Matters for Life After College
- Harvard Business Review, Why Men Still Get More Promotions Than Women
- Catalyst, Managing with a sponsorship mindset: Why mentorship isn't enough