Uwuchule emsebenzini. Ufuna izinga elilandelayo, uyawusebenzela, futhi usubone umqondo omncane kunowakho unqoba umhlangano ngoba nje wafika unomsindo. Ngakho iseluleko siyaqala ukufika. Khuluma kakhulu. Thatha indawo enkulu. Phakamisa izwi. Okunye kwakho kulungile. Iningi lakho lichaza umdlalo ongenaso isifiso sawo futhi obungeke ube muhle kuwo noma kunjalo.
Nakhu lokho iseluleko esikushiya ngaphandle. Abantu igumbi eliphendukela kubo abavamile ukuba abanomsindo kunabo bonke. Bangabantu abasho into eyodwa eyagcina ilungile, futhi abangazange banyakaze ngenkathi beyisho. Lolo wuhlu olufushane lwezenzo eziphindaphindekayo, futhi izwi elikhulu alikho ohlwini. Ungathathwa ngokuzimisela ngezwi onalo kanye njengoba linjalo, futhi kubiza kancane kunomdlalo.
Ngingathathwa kanjani ngokuzimisela ngingekhulumi kakhulu kunawo wonke umuntu egumbini?
Woza nomusho owodwa osunqume ukuwusho, uwusho engxenyeni yokuqala yomhlangano, bese uwuvumela uhlale. Amagumbi ahlela abantu ngokuthi ngabe okushiwo yibo kugcina kufanele isikhathi abasithathile yini, hhayi ngokuthi bathathe isikhathi esingakanani.
Kukhona isizathu sokuthi kungani ukukhuluma kakhulu kusebenza nhlobo, futhi kufanele ukuqonde ngaphambi kokunquma ukungakusebenzisi. UCameron Anderson noGavin Kilduff bacwaninga ngamaqembu abantu abangaziwani besebenza ndawonye ezinkingeni futhi bathola ukuthi abantu ababusayo kakhulu babhekwa njengabanekhono elikhulu kunabo bonke yiqembu labo, ngababukeli bangaphandle nangabacwaningi, ngisho nangemva kokuthi amakhono abo angempela esebalwe. Igumbi lalingaphambuki. Uma kungekho ubufakazi igumbi libuyela kulokho elikubonayo: ukuthi umuntu ukhuluma ngokugeleza kangakanani, ukuthi ubukeka ezinzile yini, nokuthi ubukeka ejahile yini.
Wufunde kahle lowo mphumela, ngoba kulula ukuwufunda ngokuphambene. Akubona ubufakazi bokuthi umsindo uyanqoba. Kungubufakazi bokuthi igumbi lisebenzisa izimpawu ezibonakalayo njengesikhundleni sesikhashana kuze kube khona umuntu olinika okungcono. Kunezinto ezimbili ezilandelayo. Nika igumbi ubufakazi bese leso sikhundla sesikhashana asisabalulekile, ngoba inombolo okungekho omunye onayo egumbini ishaya izwi elizethembayo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Bese uqaphela ukuthi ayikho neyodwa kulezo zimpawu eyizwi elikhulu. Ukugeleza, ukuzinza nokungajahi konke kuyatholakala ezingeni elivamile lokukhuluma, futhi kokuthathu kuba lula uma ungazami ukudlala umdlalo.
Ngithini ngempela uma ngizokhuluma kanye kuphela?
Sho into eshintsha lokho igumbi elizokwenza okulandelayo. Umusho owodwa onesinqumo, inombolo, noma ingozi kuwo wenza okungcono kunemizuzu engamashumi amabili yokuvumelana.
Isivivinyo silula. Uma umusho wakho ususwa embhalweni wenkulumo, ngabe umhlangano ubuzohamba ngendlela ehlukile? Iningi lalokho okushiwoyo aliphumeleli kulesi sivivinyo. Ukuvumelana akuphumeleli. Ukuphinda umqondo womunye umuntu ngamagama ahluke kancane akuphumeleli. Elithi ngiyanezela nje kulokho cishe alilokothi liphumelele, futhi yiyona nto eshiwo kakhulu emihlanganweni ngabantu abafuna ukubonakala benegalelo.
Lena iyaphumelela:
- "Ngingakhipha inguqulo encane ngoMashi bese ngigcina okunye size sibe nedatha yemali ebuyiselwayo."
- "Inombolo enquma lokhu izinga lemali ebuyiselwayo, futhi akekho kuleli gumbi onalo."
- "Sikwenzile lokhu kabili nyakenye. Kwaphuka esinyathelweni sesine izikhathi zombili."
Qaphela okufanayo ngayo. Yileyo naleyo ibeka etafuleni into ebingekho ngaphambili: isincomo umuntu okumele asamukele noma asilahle, iqiniso elingekho, ingxenye yomlando. Ayikho edinga izwi eliphakanyisiwe, futhi ayikho edinga ukuthi ukhulume isikhathi esingaphezu kwemizuzwana eyisishiyagalombili.
Kunqume ngaphambi kokungena, uwubhale phezulu ekhasini ngamagama ohlela ukuwasebenzisa, hhayi njengesihloko. Elithi "amanani" yisihloko. Elithi "Bengingeke ngishintshe inani size siqede ikota egcwele ohlelweni olusha" ngumusho. Isihloko sikwenza ulinde igebe eliphelele. Umusho ukwenza ukwazi ukusebenzisa noma yiliphi igebe.
Kufanele ngiwusho nini emhlanganweni?
Engxenyeni yokuqala. Amagama afanayo afika njengesimo uma esho kusenesikhathi bese efika njengokuphikisa uma esho sekwephuzile, futhi umehluko akukhona ukulunga komqondo, kungukuthi igumbi lase lithathe siphi isinqumo ngaphambi kokuba likuzwe.
Amagumbi akha isimo sawo ngokushesha. Uma sekuphakathi nendawo abantu abaningi base bekhethe icala ngokuthula, bese ukukhuluma emva kwalokho kubacela ukuthi bavule kabusha into abayibona ivaliwe. Kuyehliswa, hhayi ngoba kukubi, kodwa ngoba ukukusebenzisa sekuyabiza.
Kukhona inzuzo yesibili, futhi yiyona abantu abathule abayizwa kakhulu. Ukukhuluma kusenesikhathi kuqeda ukulinda. Uma ungakawusho umusho wakho, ingxenye yokunaka kwakho ichitha ihora lonke izingela ithuba, okuyisona sizathu sangempela sokuthi kungani umhlangano wamahora amabili ungakhathaza kakhulu kunomsebenzi uqobo. Wusho ngomzuzu wesithupha bese uthola yonke inkathi esele yomhlangano. Uyichitha ulalele kahle, okuyilapho umusho wakho olandelayo obuzovela khona.
Ngenzani ngokuthula okuza emva kokuba ngikhulumile?
Lutho. Vumela kume imizuzwana emithathu noma emine, ungathambisi, ungaphindi futhi ungabeki mibandela kulokho okusanda kukusho.
Indlela evame kakhulu ukwenza umusho omuhle wehliswe ukuthi umuntu owushilo awuhoxise ngemva komzuzwana owodwa. "Kodwa ngingase ngiphambeke." "Noma kunjalo, bekuwumcabango nje." "Ngabe kuyezwakala?" Yileyo naleyo inika igumbi imvume yokufaka umqondo wakho ohlwini lwamathathumathathu. Ukuthula kwenza okuphambene. Kufundeka njengomuntu oseqedile, futhi umuntu oseqedile ngumuntu obekuqonde ngempela.
Wehlisele phansi amagama akho amathathu okugcina kunokuwaphakamisa. Ucwaningo lokuzethemba kwezwi olwenziwa nguThomas Vaughan-Johnston nozakwabo luthole ukuthi isiphetho esehlela phansi sifundeka njengokuzethemba, nokuthi ukukhuluma ngokuzethemba kwenza abalaleli bacabangisise ngempikiswano kunokuba bangayinaki. Lokho kusika nhlangothi zombili, iqiniso. Ukulalela ngokucophelela kuklomelisa umqondo oqinile bese kudalula obuthakathaka. Yiyona mpikiswano yokusho okuncane: uma uchitha umusho owodwa kuphela, ungakwazi ukwenza kube ngowodwa osuwuhlolile.
Ngabe ukuthula kungenza ngingatholi udumo lomsebenzi wami?
Kuphela uma kungekho muntu egumbini ongabalula lokho okwenzile. Isixazululo akukhona ukukhuluma kakhulu, ukuqinisekisa ukuthi iqiniso elilodwa eliqondile ngomsebenzi wakho lingaphindwa ngumuntu ongewena.
Abantu abanquma isikhundla sakho esilandelayo abakho emihlanganweni yakho eminingi. Bezwa ngawe ngomlomo womunye umuntu, futhi okuhamba ngaleyo ndlela akuwona umbono ojwayelekile. Kuyiqiniso umuntu angaliphinda: ukufuduka kwedatha okwenzeka kungavalwanga lutho, isivumelwano esavalwa ezinsukwini eziyishumi nanye, iphutha olibambe ngaphambi kokuba ikhasimende lilibone. Nikeza lelo qiniso kubantu abakuzungezile ngamagama alula. Elithi "ukufuduka kwedatha kwenzeka kungavalwanga lutho" ngumusho ozakwenu angawuthwala aye egumbini ongekho kulo. Elithi "kuhambe kahle" akulona.
Yilokho kuphela okushintshiselwa ngumuntu othule, futhi kuhle. Awudingi isikhathi esengeziwe sokukhuluma. Udinga iqiniso elilodwa elijikelezayo, elishiwo ngamagama omunye umuntu angawasho ngezwi eliphakeme ngaphandle kokuqala akubuze.
Ubukhona ongabubamba iminyaka engamashumi amabili
Umsunguli we-KEEP CALM uchaza umsebenzi wakhe ngezingxenye ezintathu, futhi ukulandelana kwazo kubalulekile. Wasebenza kanzima impilo yakhe yonke. Wathola izindlela zokuhlala ezolile kukho konke, futhi wafika lapho ayeya khona. Futhi endleleni yonke eya phezulu, hhayi lapho esefikile, wayefuna amathuba okuqeqesha, ukufundisa, ukweluleka, ukuphakamisa, ukubonga nokumela abantu abaseduze naye. Ngamazwi akhe, amandla amahle nokwesekwa akutholayo kwaba yikuphindwe kayishumi. Lokho kungukulandisa kwakhe ngeminyaka yakhe engamashumi amabili kunokuba kube ngumthetho wemvelo, okuyikho kanye okukwenza kufaneleke: kungumuntu oyedwa esho ngokusobala lokho okwasebenza kuye.
Ngendaba ekhuluma ngokungadlali umdlalo, ingxenye yesithathu yiyona nto ebalulekile. Indlela ethule kakhulu yokuthola ukunakwa kwegumbi ukuba ngumuntu ochitha ingxenye yakho komunye umuntu. Balula lokho umuntu othile akwenzile, ngezwi eliphakeme, phambi kwabantu ababalulekile kuye. Kudinga umusho owodwa, akudingi zwi likhulu nhlobo, futhi igumbi limbona lowo muntu njengozinze kunabo bonke etafuleni.
Ngakho: woza nomusho owodwa. Wusho kusenesikhathi. Wuvumele ume. Bese uchitha ingxenye yalokho okuzuzayo kumuntu ohlezi eduze kwakho. Akukho kulokho okucela ukuthi ube ngomunye umuntu, okuyisona sizathu esisodwa sokuthi kuzobe kusakusebenzela eminyakeni eyishumi ezayo. Umdlalo uyabiza futhi kumele udlalwe kabusha masonto onke. Lokhu akunjalo.
Imithombo
- PubMed, Why do dominant personalities attain influence in face-to-face groups? The competence-signaling effects of trait dominance
- Society for Personality and Social Psychology, When Sounding Confident Helps, and When It Backfires
- Harvard Business Review, How to Keep Your Cool in High-Stress Situations