Uma usenkingeni noma ucabanga ukuzilimaza, awuwedwa. E-USA, shayela ucingo noma uthumele umlayezo ku-988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, imini nobusuku), thumela u-HOME ku-741741 (Crisis Text Line), noma ushayele u-911 engozini esheshayo.
Amathiphu asheshayo
- Khetha into eyodwa encane ozoyiqeda namuhla.
- Khumbula okwakwenza wadlula ngesikhathi esidlule.
- Bhalela umuntu oyedwa ubukhulu bako bangempela.
Ithemba lithola idumela elibi lapho uphakathi kwento enzima. Lingazwakala njengesitika esisodongeni. Njengomuntu okutshela ukuthi ujabule ngenkathi umhlaba usanyakaza ngaphansi kwakho. Uma ubunesikhathi esinzima, eside, uhlobo lapho uvuka usukhathele, leli gama lingafika njengenye into ohluleka kuyo.
Ngakho ake sibeke phansi inguqulo yekhadi lokubingelela yalo. Ithemba langempela akusona isimo somqondo, futhi akukona ukuzenzisa ukuthi izinto zilungile. Lithule futhi lisebenza kakhulu kunalokho. Yingxenye yakho esengakwazi ukubona isinyathelo esisodwa esilandelayo, futhi isakholelwa ukuthi ungase ukwazi ukusithatha.
Lokho kufanele kushiwo ngokusobala, ngoba ithemba, ngendlela elifundwe ngayo ngempela, lisondelene nekhono kunomuzwa. Futhi amakhono angakhiwa kabusha, ngisho nakokuncane kakhulu.
Ithemba liyini ngempela
Usosayikholoji uCharles Snyder wachitha iminyaka ekala ithemba, futhi incazelo yakhe iwusizo ngempela ngoba ingenabo ubuhle. Wathola ukuthi ithemba linezingxenye ezimbili ezisebenzayo.
Esokuqala ukukwazi ukubona indlela. Enye indlela, noma ingaba nzima kangakanani, isuka lapho ukhona iye entweni engcono kancane. Esesibili ukukholelwa ukuthi unakho ngaphakathi kwakho ukuqala kuleyo ndlela. Abacwaningi bazibiza lezo zingcezu ezimbili ngokuthi izindlela namandla okwenza. Ungazicabanga kalula njenge "kukhona indlela" ne "ngingenza okuthile ngayo."
Qaphela okungekho kulokho. Akukho lutho lapho olumayelana nokuzizwa kahle, noma ukuqiniseka ukuthi kuzolunga, noma ukubuyisa ukuzethemba kwakho okudala. Ithemba ngale ndlela lingahlala eceleni kosizi nokwesaba nokukhathala. Akudingeki ukuthi uzizwe unethemba ukuze wenze ngethemba. Kufanele nje uthole indlela eyodwa uthathe isinyathelo esisodwa.
Lokhu kubalulekile ngenxa yalokho ithemba elibonakala likwenza. Ucwaningo olubuyekezwe ontanga labantu abedlula ekwelashweni kokukhathazeka lwathola ukuthi ithemba lalivame ukukhuphuka phakathi nokwelashwa, nokuthi ukukhuphuka kwethemba kwasiza ukuchaza ukuthi kungani abantu babangcono. Abacwaningi bachaza ithemba njengomthombo wokuqina ekukhathazekeni nasekucindezelekeni. Omunye umsebenzi uxhumanise ithemba eliphakeme namazinga aphansi okucindezeleka engqondweni. Ithemba akusona umhlobiso ophezu kokululama. Libonakala liyingxenye yenjini.
Kungani ukuphelelwa yithemba kunciphisa konke
Kuyasiza ukuqonda ukuthi ubunzima benzani ekucabangeni kwakho, ngoba khona-ke kuyeka ukuzwakala njengephutha lobuntu.
Lapho ungaphansi kwengcindezi enzima, eqhubekayo, umbono wakho uvame ukuwela ngaphakathi. Ikusasa liyancipha. Okwedlule kufundwa njengohlu lobufakazi bokuthi izinto azilokothi zisebenze. Isikhathi samanje sigcwala noma yini engalungile njengamanje. Lokhu ubuchopho bakho benza into ecabanga ukuthi iyavikela, uhlola usongo, uzilungiselela ukushayeka. Inkinga ukuthi ingqondo elungiselele ukushayeka ayikwazi ukubona izindlela. Cishe ayikwazi ukubona ikusasa.
Ngakho uma indlela eya phambili ibonakala ivinjelwe ngokuphelele, lokho akusiyo njalo ubufakazi bokuthi ayikho indlela eya phambili. Ngezinye izikhathi kuwuphawu lokuthi udangele kangakanani. Ukuvinjelwa kungokoqobo kuwe, futhi kuyingxenye yelensi. Lowo mehluko ngeke ulungise lutho ngokwawo, kodwa ungaxegisa ukubamba kwe "lokhu kuzohlala kunjalo njalo." Cishe akukho okuhlala kunjalo njalo.
Izindlela ezincane zokubuyela kulo
Akekho ozikhulumela ethembeni ngokunquma ukuba nombono omuhle. Libuya izingcezu, ngezenzo ezincane, ngokuvamile ngaphambi kokuthi umuzwa ufike. Nazi izinto ezisiza ngempela, ezisuselwa kulokho odokotela abakugqugquzelayo ngempela.
Yehlisa umgomo uze wenzeke
Lapho konke kuzwakala kukuningi kakhulu, isixazululo akusona isimo sengqondo esingcono. Kuyithagethi encane. Khetha into eyodwa ongayiqeda namuhla. Hhayi isimo sakho sonke. I-imeyili eyodwa. Ukuhamba kanye uye ekhoneni. Ukuwasha okukodwa kwezingubo. Isiqondiso se-APA ngokuqina sikubeka kalula: hlukanisa izinkinga zibe izingcezu ezilawulekayo bese wenza okuthile, noma kukuncane kangakanani, okukusa lapho ufuna ukuba khona. Ukuqeda into eyodwa encane kwakha kabusha ingxenye ethi "ngingenza okuthile" yethemba, okuvame ukuba yingxenye ehamba kuqala.
Buka emuva kokusuvele wakusinda
Kunethuba elihle lokuthi lokhu akuyona into enzima yokuqala oke waphila kuyo. I-Mayo Clinic isikisela ukubuka ukuthi ubhekane nazo kanjani ngaphambili, ngamabomu. Yini eyakwenza wadlula ngesikhathi esidlule? Ubani owafika? Wenzani okwasiza, ngisho nakancane? Awuncishisi okwenzeka manje. Uqoqa ubufakazi bokuthi unerekhodi, nokuthi ingxenye yakho eyathola indlela ngaphambili isesekhona.
Finyelela kumuntu oyedwa
Ukuzihlukanisa kwenza ukuphelelwa yithemba kube nomsindo omkhulu. Ukuxhumana kungenye yezitholakalo ezivumelana kakhulu kulo lonke ucwaningo lokuqina. Awudingi inethiwekhi enkulu noma amagama aphelele. Udinga umuntu oyedwa ongahlala nawe engazami ukukulungisa. Bhalela umngane. Shayela umfowenu noma udadewenu. Tshela umuntu oyedwa ubukhulu bako bangempela. Ukukhunjuzwa ukuthi awuwedwa kulokhu, ngokwako, kuyindlela.
Qaphela okusekuhle, ngisho nakuncane
Lokhu akukona ukubonga okuphoqelelwe. Kuyisisindo esimelene. Lapho ingqondo izingela yonke into engalungile, kufanele uqambe ngamabomu izinto ezimbalwa ezingezona. Inkomishi ekahle yekhofi. Inja ejabula ukukubona. Imizuzu eyishumi ngaphandle lapho ukukhanya kushaya into ethile. Lezi azizikhanseli izinto ezinzima. Zigcina izinto ezinzima zingabi yizona zinto kuphela ongazibona.
Yenza into enencazelo kuwe
Abacwaningi bokuqina baqhubeka bebuyela encazelweni, umuzwa wokuthi izinsuku zakho zikhomba into ethile. Ngokuvamile lokho kuvela ekubeni usizo komunye umuntu. Ukusiza umakhelwane, ukuvelela ingane yakho, ukwenza ucezu olulodwa lomsebenzi olunakekelayo. Injongo inendlela yokukudonsela phambili lapho ugqozi lungakwazi.
Lapho ithemba lizwakala liphelile ngempela
Kukhona umehluko phakathi kwesonto elinzima nobumnyama obungasuki. Uma ubunzima busuhlale amasonto, uma usuyekile ukukwazi ukucabanga noma iyiphi inguqulo yezinto ezingcono, uma wenza izinto ngokungaphili nombala usuphelile kukho konke, lokho akuyona inkinga yamandla engqondo futhi akusiyo eyakho ukuyibamba ngokuqina wedwa.
Yileso sikhathi sokuletha usizo, ngendlela obungayenza ngayo nganoma yiluphi olunye uhlobo lobuhlungu obungapholi. Udokotela noma umelaphi angatshela umehluko phakathi kwesikhathi esinzima nokucindezeleka engqondweni, futhi kukhona ukwelashwa kwangempela, okusebenzayo kokwesibili. Ukufinyelela akukona ukuyeka ithemba. Kungenye yezinto ezinethemba kakhulu umuntu angazenza, ngoba kuyisenzo esithi enye ingxenye yakho isakholelwa ukuthi izinto zingashintsha. Leyo ngxenye iqinisile.
Futhi uma kuke kwedlula ubunzima, uma uzithola ucabanga ukuthi awufuni ukuba lapha, sicela ukuphathe njengesimo esiphuthumayo esiyiso bese ukhuluma nomuntu namuhla, umgqa wesimo esiphuthumayo, udokotela, noma ubani. Akudingeki uqinisekise ukuthi ufuna usizo ukuze ulufanele.
Ithemba ngokuvamile alibuyi ngasikhathi sinye, njengesibani sivuseleleka. Libuya ngendlela ukusa okwenza ngayo, kancane, ngenkathi umatasa nokunye, uze ubheke phezulu uqaphele ukuthi usungabona kancane kude kunalokho obungakwazi. Uthatha isinyathelo esilandelayo esincane phakathi naleso sikhathi. Ukubona kuyafika.
Imithombo
- American Psychological Association, Building your resilience
- Mayo Clinic, Resilience: Build skills to endure hardship
- Gallagher MW, et al., Examining Hope as a Transdiagnostic Mechanism of Change Across Anxiety Disorders and CBT Treatment Protocols (Behavior Therapy)