Ukuphakama Lapho Kungekho Omunye Ozokwenza Njalo

Kukhona uhlobo oluthile lokuthula okungenzeka ukuzwile. Umhlangano lapho inkinga yangempela isanda kubizwa ngegama futhi kungekho ophendulayo. Ingxoxo yeqembu lapho icebo elibi lishelela liya ku-yebo. Ithimba lapho umuntu oyedwa esobala ukuthi uyaminza futhi wonke umuntu ekubona. Into edinga ukwenziwa isobala. Okungekho umuntu ozimisele ukuba nguye oyenzayo.

Iningi lethu selike laba ngakuzo zombili izinhlangothi zalokho kuthula. Silindile ukuba omunye umuntu akhulume, futhi sesike saba ngumuntu ekugcineni owenza njalo. Le ndatshana imayelana nowesibili. Hhayi ubuqhawe, kodwa nje isenzo esejwayelekile, esivame ukungakhululeki, sokungena esikhaleni lapho ungenaso isihloko esithi uvunyelwe.

Uma wake wathikaza kuleso sikhathi wabe usuzisola kamuva, wawungebona obuthakathaka. Wawugijimela entweni endala nefundwe kahle kuziphatho zabantu. Kuyasiza ukwazi igama layo.

Kungani indlu ithula

Ngeminyaka yawo-1960, izazi zesayensi yengqondo ezimbili, uBibb Latané noJohn Darley, zaqala ukubuza umbuzo ozwakala ulula kodwa ongenjalo: uma kukhona okuhamba kabi phambi kweqembu labantu, ubani ngempela othatha isinyathelo?

Abakutholayo kwamangaza wonke umuntu, kubandakanya nabo. Lapho kukhona abantu abaningi, kuncipha ithuba lokuthi oyedwa kubo angenelele. Kolunye ucwaningo lwabo, ababambiqhaza bezwa lokho ababekholelwa ukuthi kwakuwumuntu ohlaselwa yisithuthwane. Lapho umuntu ecabanga ukuthi nguye kuphela ongakuzwa, iningi elikhulu laya ukuyocela usizo, futhi ngokushesha. Lapho babekholelwa ukuthi igumbi eligcwele abanye labo lizwa into efanayo, baba mbalwa kakhulu abanyakazayo, futhi labo abanyakazayo bathatha isikhathi eside kakhulu.

Abacwaningi babiza lokhu ngokuthi umphumela wababukeli (bystander effect), futhi injini engaphansi kwako inegama elifanele ukuligcina: ukusabalaliswa kwesibopho (diffusion of responsibility). Lapho isibopho sabiwa esixukwini, siba ncane kumuntu ngamunye, kuze kube yilapho wonke umuntu ecabanga buthule ukuthi omunye uzosibhekana naso. Akekho onenhliziyo elukhuni. Wonke umuntu ulindile nje. Ukulinda ngokwakho kuba yinkinga.

Enye ingxenye yalo mphumela iyisintu nakakhulu. Sibheka nxazonke ukuze sithole ukuthi senze kanjani. Uma wonke umuntu ezolile futhi ethule, sifunda lokho kuthula njengophawu lokuthi akukho lutho olungahambi kahle, noma ukuthi ukuthatha isinyathelo bekungaba yinqaba. Ngakho siyazibamba. Futhi ukuzibamba kwethu kuba uphawu lomuntu olandelayo lokuba naye azibambe. Igumbi lonke lingazikhulumela ukuba lingenzi lutho ngaphandle kokuba noyedwa asho izwi.

Lokhu akumayelana nezimo eziphuthumayo kuphela. Kungumhlangano lapho isinqumo esinephutha singaphikiswa. Iphrojekthi lapho wonke umuntu ephawula amankonkxa kodwa kungekho oyawaphakamisayo. Isisebenzi esisha esisokolayo kuyilapho ozakwabo abaningi abanolwazi bebheka kwelinye icala, ngamunye ecabanga ukuthi umuntu oseduze nesimo uzobheka.

Yini ngempela eqeda ukukhwabana

Nansi ingxenye okufanele ishintshe indlela ozibona ngayo kulezo zikhathi. Kulo lolu cwaningo, isihungu siyaqhekeka ngaso leso sikhathi umuntu oyedwa ethatha isinyathelo. Uma umuntu oyedwa ephuma phambili, ukusabalaliswa kuyabhidlika, futhi abanye bavame ukulandela ngokushesha. Into enzima kunazo zonke neyigugu kakhulu ukuba ngowokuqala.

Leso sinyathelo sokuqala kungubuholi, ngisho noma kungekho ongabubiza ngalokho. Ubuholi ngomqondo obaluleke kakhulu abunabudlelwano obukhulu nesihloko noma indawo ohlwini lwesikhungo. Kuyisenzo. Kungumuntu onquma, ngesikhathi lapho isibopho sesifiphele, ukusiqoqa asho athi: mina ngizosithatha lokhu.

I-Harvard Business Review ikuveze ngokusobala lokhu, ukuthi awudingi ukuba ngumphathi ukuze ube ngumholi, nokuthi abantu abaziqalelayo ezintweni abangabhekene nazo ngokuqinile bavame ukukhula kakhulu, futhi bathole ukwethenjwa okwengeziwe, kunalabo abalinda ukutshelwa. Uhlu lwesikhungo luvame ukufika kamuva. Ithonya lifika kuqala, futhi livela ekubeni ngoyedwa onyakazayo lapho igumbi liphelelwe.

Akukho kwalokho okudinga ukuba ngonomsindo kunabo bonke noma omdala kunabo bonke. Ngokuvamile kuthule kunalokho. Umbuzo ocacile. Ukuzinikela okulula. Umusho obiza ngegama into wonke umuntu abekade eyigwema.

Izibalo ezithulile zokuhamba phambili

Kubalulekile ukuba nobuqotho ngokuthi kungani ukuphakama kuzwakala kubiza kangaka kuleso sikhathi, ngoba izindleko zingempela futhi ukuzibiza ngegama kuyasiza.

Ukuhamba phambili kusho ukuthatha lokho abacwaningi abakubiza ngokuthi ubungozi bobudlelwano (interpersonal risk), ubungozi obuncane bezenhlalo bokubukeka uyisiwula, uphoqa, noma unephutha phambi kwabantu. Uprofesa wase-Harvard u-Amy Edmondson wakha ingxenye enkulu yomsebenzi wakhe efunda ngalokhu. Okwatholakala, ezibhedlela nasezinkampanini nasemathimbeni azo zonke izinhlobo, ukuthi abantu bahlala bethule hhayi ngoba bengayiboni inkinga kodwa ngoba ukukhuluma kuzwakala kungaphephile. Iphutha lingase libekwe kubo. Umbuzo ungase uzwakale uyize. Ukuzinikela kungase kucweywe eceleni.

Lapho ithimba lizizwa liphephile ngokwanele ukuthatha lobo bungozi obuncane, u-Edmondson ukubiza ngokuthi ukuphepha kwengqondo (psychological safety), futhi amathimba anakho abamba izinkinga kusenesikhathi, afunda ngokushesha, futhi enza amaphutha ambalwa angavimbeleka. Lapho engenakho, izinkinga aziyi ndawo. Zihlala nje zingashiwongo, okubi nakakhulu.

Ngokuvamile ngeke ukwazi ukunika lonke ithimba lakho lokho kuphepha wedwa. Kodwa ungakubonisa. Njalo lapho ubuza umbuzo osobala, uvuma ukuthi awuqinisekile, noma unikeza usizo ngaphandle kokucelwa, ukwenza kube okujwayelekile kancane kumuntu olandelayo ukuba enze okufanayo. Izwi lokuqala eliqotho linika wonke umuntu imvume. Leyo mvume ingenye yezinto ezinomusa kakhulu ongazinikeza iqembu, futhi ikubiza kuphela ukungakhululeki kokuhamba phambili.

Indaba ozixoxela yona ngenkathi umile

Kukhona isikhala phakathi kokuqaphela ukuthi kukhona okudinga ukwenziwa nokunyakaza ngempela, futhi kuningi okwenzekayo kuleso sikhala. Ngokuvamile sizimizuzwana embalwa nje, futhi yilapho ukuphakama okuningi kuyofela khona.

Kulezo zimizuzwana, ingqondo yakho ifuna izizathu zokuhlala uhlezi phansi, futhi izizathu zizwakala zinengqondo. Omunye umuntu ufaneleke kakhulu. Akuyona ngempela indawo yami. Mhlawumbe ngiyakufunda kabi. Bazocabanga ukuthi ngizama ukuthatha isikhundla. Uma ngilinda umzuzwana, ngokuqinisekile umuntu oseduze nalokhu uzosho okuthile. Umcabango ngamunye uyimvume encane yokungenzi lutho, futhi uma ihlanganiswe ndawonye ibonakala njengokuhlakanipha. Kakhulu iyilokhu nje ukukhwabana kukhuluma.

Iqhinga elisizayo ukuqaphela ukuma njengoba kwenzeka bese ukuphatha njengolwazi kunokuba njengomyalo. Lapho uzwa lokho kuthikaza, ngokuvamile kusho ukuthi usuvele ubone okuthile okufanele kubhekwane nakho. Ukungakhululeki akulona uphawu lokuma. Kuwuphawu lokuthi umile emphethweni waleso sikhala kanye kanye wonke umuntu naye asigqolozele. Ukuzibiza ngegama kuyasiza: nakho ukuthula, futhi nangu mina ngilindele omunye umuntu, njengabo. Leso sinqamu esincane sokuqaphela kwesinye isikhathi yikho konke okudingekayo ukunyakazisa umlomo wakho ngaphambi kokuba ukungabaza kukubambe.

Kuyasiza futhi ukwehlisa ibha ekhanda lakho. Akudingeki ube uqinisile. Akudingeki uyixazulule. Kudingeka nje ube ngoyedwa oyala ukuvumela ukuthula kume. Umbuzo ubalulekile. Ukuzinikela kubalulekile. Ukuthi "Ngingase ngibe nephutha, kodwa…" kubalulekile, futhi ngokuvamile kungumugqa wokuvula onesibindi kunayo yonke.

Indlela yokuba ngoyedwa onyakazayo

Lokhu akumayelana nokweqa wonke umuntu noma ukuzimisa njengophethe. Kumayelana nokuvala isikhala esithile ongasibona futhi abanye abasizungezayo. Izinto ezimbalwa ezisiza ngempela.

1. Biza ngegama okubonayo, ngokuzwakalayo nangaphandle kokusola. Ukukhwabana okuningi kuqhekeka ngomusho owodwa olula. "Kubukeka sengathi sonke sithemba ukuthi omunye umuntu unesibopho kulokhu." "Ngingasho yini engicabanga ukuthi siyakuphutha?" Awusoli muntu. Wenza into engashiwongo ikwazi ukushiwo, okuvame ukuba yikho kuphela igumbi elivalekile elikudingayo.
2. Thatha ingxenye encane, ephathekayo, hhayi intaba yonke. Akudingeki ulungise konke ukuze uqhekeze isihungu. Nikeza into eyodwa eqondile ozoyenza. "Ngizobhala uhlelo lokuqala ngoLwesine." "Ngizombheka yena ngemva kwalokhu." Okuqondile nokuncane yikho okuguqula inhloso kube ukunyakaza, futhi kumema abanye ukuba babambe ingxenye elandelayo.
3. Hola ngombuzo lapho ungeyena uchwepheshe. Ukuphakama akukhona ukuzenza sengathi unezimpendulo. Ngezinye izikhathi isinyathelo esinamandla kunazo zonke ukubuza umbuzo okungekho omunye ozowubuza. Ukulalela ngokucophelela kubaluleke kakhulu kanye kanye lapho ungeyena owazi isihloko kangcono.
4. Hlala uzinzile, ikakhulukazi uma kunengcindezi. Lapho izinto ziba nzima, abantu ngokwemvelo babheka kulowo obonakala ezolile. Yehlisa izwi lakho esikhundleni sokuliphakamisa. Ubukhona obuzinzile ngobufanele buwuhlobo lobuholi, futhi lwenza iphuzu lakho lifike kangcono kakhulu kunokuphuthuma.
5. Hlola inhloso yakho. Kukhona umehluko phakathi kokuphakama ngoba kukhona okudinga ukwenziwa nokuphakama ukuze ubonwe ukwenza. Abantu bangawuzwa lowo mehluko. Ngena uzama ngobuqotho ukusiza, futhi ucabange ukuthi nabanye benza njalo. Kugcina yonke into ihlanzekile.

Qaphela okungekho kuloluhlu. Awudingi imvume, isihloko, noma ukuqiniseka ukuthi uqinisile. Udinga ukuba nendaba ngokwanele ukunyakaza, nokuzimisela ukungakhululeki kancane imizuzwana embalwa ngenkathi wenza njalo.

Isisindo saso, nokuthi umugqa ukuphi

Ukuphakama kunohlangothi olumnyama, futhi kufanele nje ukukubiza ngegama.

Uma uba ngumuntu ohlala egcwalisa isikhala, ungagcina ngokuthula uthwele lonke ithimba. Ukuziqalela kunomusa kuze kufike lapho kuphenduka ukuba ngoyedwa owenza yonke into kuyilapho wonke umuntu eqhubeka elinda. Isixazululo akusona ukuyeka ukuphakama. Kungukuphakama ngendlela edonsela abanye ngaphakathi kunokubayeka bakhulule. Biza isikhala ngegama, uthathe ingxenye yakho, bese unikeza ingxenye elandelayo ngegama. "Nginohlelo lokuqala. Ungathatha yini ukubuyekeza?" Uyahola. Awumunci.

Futhi kukhona umugqa onzima ofanele ukuwazi. Ezinye izimo zinkulu kunombuzo emhlanganweni noma ukuzinikela ukusiza ngephrojekthi. Uma ubona okuthile okukhomba ekulimaleni kwangempela, umuntu osengozini, ukuhlukunyezwa, umuntu obonakala esesimweni esibucayi, ukuphakama akusho ukukubhekana nakho wedwa noma ukuba yiqhawe. Kusho ukuqinisekisa ukuthi usizo olufanele luyafika. Lokho kungaba lula njengokutshela umuntu oyedwa ongenza okuthile ngempela, ukushayela abantu okungumsebenzi wabo, noma ukuhlala nomuntu kuze kufike usizo. Ukuhamba phambili, kulezo zikhathi, ngokuvamile kusho nje ukwala ukucabanga ukuthi omunye umuntu usevele washaya ucingo.

Kuyafana nangenani okulithwalayo. Ukuba ngozinzile, ngoyedwa othatha isinyathelo, ngoyedwa abanye abancika kuye, kungumsebenzi wangempela, futhi kungakukhathaza ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ikakhulukazi uma ukwenza yonke indawo ngesikhathi esisodwa futhi kungekho okwenzela khona. Uma uqaphela ukuthi njalo unguwe othwele igumbi kanti kuyivela kancane ukuba nguwe othwelwayo, lokho kufanele kunakwe. Ukuzinza ongalokothi ukugcwalisa kabusha kuyaphela. Ukukhuluma ngakho nomuntu omethembayo, noma nochwepheshe uma kunzima, akukhona ukwehluleka kwamandla. Yindlela abanamandla abahlala ngayo benamandla.

Kodwa isikhathi esiningi, lokhu kuncane futhi kulula kunanoma yikuphi kwalokho. Kungumuntu oyedwa, ngesikhathi esisodwa esijwayelekile, enquma ukungalindeli omunye umuntu. Igumbi lithule. Wonke umuntu ubheka nxazonke. Bese uyabona ukuthi lowo muntu bonke abamlindele uvunyelwe ukuba nguwe.

Imithombo

• Psychology Today, Bystander Effect
• Simply Psychology, Bystander Effect and Diffusion of Responsibility
• Harvard Business Publishing, Leading When You're Not "the Boss"
• Harvard Business Review, You Don't Need to Be "the Boss" to Be a Leader