Skip to main content
Ingabe usenkingeni noma ucabanga ukuzilimaza? Awuwedwa. Thola ucingo losizo →
Nikela

UKUZIHOLA · IZINQUMO

Ukunquma Kahle Ngolwazi Olungaphelele

Cishe awusoze ube nawo wonke amaqiniso lapho kumele wenze isinqumo. Ukulinda isiqiniseko kuyisinqumo sako, futhi ngokuvamile esibi kakhulu. Nakhu indlela yokukhetha ngekhanda elicacile lapho isithombe sisemnyameni ngokwengxenye.

Isithombe solwandle oluluhlaza noluphinki

Isithombe sithathwe nguHarli Marten ku-Unsplash

Amathiphu asheshayo

  • Ukuphefumulela ngaphandle okukodwa okude ngaphambi kokukhetha.
  • Nquma ukuthi okwanele kufanele kuhlanganise ini.
  • Buza ukuthi lokhu okukhethayo kungasuswa yini kamuva.

Kunohlobo oluthile lokubambeka olungahlangene nokungazi ukuthi wenzeni. Uyazazi izinketho. Usufunde ingxoxo, wabala izinombolo, wabuza abantu ababili obathembayo. Kodwa noma kunjalo awukwazi ukunyakaza, ngoba enye ingxenye yakho ilinde okunye ucezu lolwazi oluyokwenza impendulo icace. Alulokothi lufike. Umnqamulajuqu ufika esikhundleni salo.

Iningi lezinqumo zangempela linjena. Ukhetha mhlawumbe ngamaphesenti angamashumi ayisithupha wesithombe, ngaphansi kwengcindezi ethile, kunabantu ababukele ukubona ukuthi uzokwenzani. Iphupho ukuthi abenzi bezinqumo abahle bazizwa beqinisekile. Abenzi. Sebenze uxolo nokunquma noma kunjalo, futhi bafunde ukukwenza ngaphandle kokuvumela ingcindezi iqhube umdlalo.

Ukulinda nakho kuyisinqumo

Ugibe ukuphatha ukubambezela njengokukhetha okuphephile, okunesibopho. Kuzwakala kucophelela. Ukuqoqa idatha eyengeziwe, ukuthola umbono owodwa engeziwe, ukulala phezu kwakho futhi. Okunye kwalokho kuhlakaniphile ngempela. Kodwa ngale kwendawo, awunciphisi ubungozi, ubuyisela nje endaweni ongeke uyibone, ngesikhathi umhlaba uqhubeka ushintsha uzungeze umbuzo owuqandisile.

U-Ania Masinter we-Harvard Business Review ubeka isibopho ngokusobala: abaholi namuhla banedatha eningi kunanini futhi bacace kancane, futhi ukulinda ukuthi lokho ukucaca kuxazululeke kukushiya usengcupheni ngesikhathi ukusheshisa kumemela amaphutha. Ayikho isilungiselelo esidayela okumakiwe "okuphephile." Ukungenzi isinqumo kuyisikhundla osithathayo, esinemiphumela, usikufihle nje kuwe ngokusibiza ngesineke.

Ngakho isinyathelo sokuqala ukubalisa okuthembekile. Zibuze ukuthi ukubambezela kuthenga ini ngempela. Uma olunye usuku noma enye ingxoxo ingashintsha ngokubalulekile impendulo yakho, kuthathe. Uma uqoqa ulwazi ukuze uzizwe ungcono kunokunquma kangcono, lokho akukona ukukhuthala. Kungukugwema okukhulumayo.

Ingcindezi yenzani engxenyeni yakho enqumayo

Kuyasiza ukwazi lokho okumelene nakho, ngoba ingcindezi ayikona nje okungathokozisi. Ishintsha umshini.

Lapho ucindezelekile, umzimba wakho ugcwaliswa yi-cortisol, futhi lokho kunemiphumela elinganisekayo endleleni okala ngayo izinketho. Ukubukezwa okuhlelekile kuka-2022 kwi-European Journal of Neuroscience kwabheka izifundo eziyishumi nesishiyagalombili kwathola ukuthi imiphumela ecace kunayo yonke yavela ncamashi lapho kubaluleke khona kakhulu: emisebenzini ehlanganisa ukungaqiniseki nokusengcupheni. Ingcindezi nempendulo ye-cortisol eza nayo yashintsha ngokuthembekile indlela abantu abanquma ngayo ngaphansi kwalezo zimo. Olunye ucwaningo lwathola ukuthi njengoba ingcindezi ikhuphuka newashi lizwakala liqinile, ikhwalithi yesinqumo ivame ukwehla, futhi yehla ngokushesha kunazo zonke ezinqumeni ezinzima ngempela, eziyinkimbinkimbi.

Qaphela ukuthi lokho kusho ukuthini. Ingcindezi ayenzi nje izinqumo ezinzima zizwakale zinzima kakhulu. Igugula ngokuthulile ukwahlulela obungakusebenzisa ukuzenza, futhi yenza umonakalo omkhulu ncamashi lapho inkinga iyinkimbinkimbi nempendulo ifiphele. Izimo ezenza isinqumo sibaluleke yizona ezidonsa ukucabanga kwakho okuhle kuphume kulayini.

Lokho akusona isizathu sokungazethembi. Kuyisizathu sokwakha inqubo engancikile ekutheni uzole ngokuphelele ukuze isebenze.

Ugibe oluphambene

Kunendlela yokwehluleka ngakolunye uhlangothi lokukhwantalala, futhi ivame njengalo. Ngaphansi kwengcindezi, abanye abantu ababambeki, babamba impendulo yokuqala ethulisa ukungakhululeki bese beyivikela kanzima. Ukuqiniseka okungamanga kuzwakala njengokunquma ngokushesha. Akukona. Kuyingcindezi efanayo, igqoke ijazi elihlukile.

Isibonakaliso yindlela ophatha ngayo ulwazi olusha emva kokukhetha. Uma kufika iqiniso eliphikisana nohlangothi lwakho futhi ukwenzeka kwakho kwemvelo yokuqala ukulichaza lisuke, lokho kufanele kuqashelwe. Ukuzethemba kwangempela ngaphansi kokungaqiniseki kuhlala kuxegile kancane. Uzibophezela esenzweni ngesikhathi ubambe inkolelo kancane, ukuze ushintshe uhlangothi lapho phansi kunyakaza. Abaholi abakwenza kabi lokhu abakhona ababengaqiniseki. Yilabo abanquma kanye base beyeka ukubheka.

Isivikelo esilula kulokhu: ngaphambi kokuvala, buza umbuzo owodwa oqotho. Yini ekumele ibe yiqiniso ukuze ngibe nephutha lapha, futhi bengingaqaphela yini ukuba bekunjalo? Awuzami ukuzikhipha esinqumeni. Ugcina iwindi livulekile kancane ukuze iqiniso lisakwazi ukukufinyelela.

Yehlisa izinga lokushisa ngaphambi kokukhetha

Awukwazi ukuzicabangela uphume empendulweni yengcindezi ngesikhathi usengaphakathi kuyo. Ngakho ngaphambi kokunquma kwangempela, yenza into eyisicefe engokomzimba kuqala. Ukuphefumulela ngaphandle okukodwa okude, kancane. Izinyawo phansi. Khulula umhlathi wakho wehlise amahlombe. Imizuzwana engamashumi amathathu yalokho yenza okuningi ekwahluleleni kwakho kunelinye ihora lokugqolozela idatha, ngoba kukubuyisela emuva kusuka egiya lokusabela uye kuleyo engabamba izinketho ezimbili kanyekanye.

Bese ubeka isinqumo emazwini, ngokuzwakalayo noma ephepheni. "Ngikhetha phakathi kuka-A no-B ngoLwesine, futhi into engiyesabayo yi-C." Ukuqamba ukwesaba kuyakuncisha. Ukukhwantalala okuningi kokunquma empeleni ukwesaba umphumela othize omubi ongakaze uwusho ngokusobala, ngakho untanta uzungeze wenza yonke into izwakale isengcupheni. Kuboshe phansi bese ngokuvamile ungabona ukuthi kuyasindeka.

Awufuni impendulo engcono kunazo zonke

Nakhu ukuqamba kabusha okukhulula abantu abaningi. Cishe awulokothi ukhetha inketho engcono kunazo zonke, ngoba ukuthola inketho engcono kunazo zonke bekuzodinga ulwazi nesikhathi ongenakho. Isazi sezomnotho uHerbert Simon wawina uMklomelo weNobel ngokunye, ngokuqamba lokhu. Wabiza ukucabanga kwabantu ngokuthi "kunemikhawulo": sinquma ngolwazi olulinganiselwe, isikhathi esilinganiselwe, nengqondo engabamba okulinganiselwe kanyekanye.

Impendulo yakhe kwakungasona ukuzizwa kabi ngakho. Kwakuyisu alibiza ngokweneliseka-ngokwanele, ingxube ka "eneliseka" no "kwanela." Esikhundleni sokufuna ukukhetha okuphelele, usetha ibhamu elicacile lokuthi "okwanele" kubukeka kanjani, uthathe inketho yokuqala eyeqa kulo. Lokho akukona ukwehlisa amazinga akho. Kungukuvumelanisa indlela yakho neqiniso. Ukujaha impendulo ephelele ngokuvamile yindlela impendulo yokwanele iphunyuka ngayo ngesikhathi ubungakhethi.

Ngakho ngaphambi kokwala izinketho, nquma ukuthi yini engenza ukukhetha kwamukeleke. Yini le sinqumo edinga ukukwenza ngempela? Uma usukwazi ukuqamba ibhamu, ukuqhathanisa kuba lula, futhi ukukhwantalala kuvame ukuphakama ngokwako.

Indlela yokwenza ngempela isinqumo

Lapho usufike ekunquma, uhlelo olungatho luvimba ingcindezi ekushayeleni:

  1. Qamba isinqumo sangempela nomnqamulajuqu. Yiba nokucaca ngalokho okukhethayo nokuthi kungakanini. Isinqumo esingacacile sihlala sivulekile phakade. Esinosuku senziwa.
  2. Setha ibhamu. Yini umphumela owanele kufanele uhlanganise? Bhala phansi izinto ezimbili noma ezintathu ezibaluleke ngempela, uyeke uhlu olude lwezifiso.
  3. Buza ukuthi ubungadinga ukwazini ukuze uqiniseke, bese ubuza ukuthi ungakuthola ngesikhathi yini. Uma kunjalo, hamba uyokuthola. Uma kungenjalo, usanda kuqinisekisa ukuthi unquma ngaphansi kokungaqiniseki, futhi ukuzenza sengathi akunjalo kumosha nje iwashi.
  4. Bheka ukuthi kungabuyiselwa emuva kangakanani. Lawa amandla amakhulu athulileyo. Izinqumo eziningi ezizwakala zizinkulu empeleni yiminyango evulekela nhlangothi zombili. Uma ukukhetha kungasuswa noma kulungiswe, ungasheshisa ulungise kamuva. Gcinela ukucabangisisa okuphelele, okuhamba kancane iminyango eya ohlangothini olulodwa ngempela.
  5. Yenza isinqumo, ubhale phansi ukuthi kungani. Umusho wanele: nakhu engikukhethile nengangikwazi ngesikhathi ngikhetha. Lelo rekhodi yilokho okukuvumela ukufunda esikhundleni sokungabaza nje.

Leso sinyathelo sokugcina sibaluleke kakhulu kunokubukeka kwaso. Imiphumela inomsindo. Isinqumo esihle singaphenduka sibe sibi futhi esidembesele singaba nenhlanhla, ngakho uma uzahlulela ngemiphumela kuphela uzofunda izifundo ezingalungile. Yahlulela isinqumo ngalokho owawukwazi nendlela owakhetha ngayo ngaleso sikhathi.

Lapho kuhamba kabi, futhi kuzokwenza

Ezinye zezinqumo zakho ezenziwe ngolwazi olungaphelele ziyoba nephutha. Lokho akulona iphutha enqubweni yakho. Kuyintengo yokusebenza emhlabeni wangempela, lapho okunye, ukulinda isiqiniseko, kuqinisekisa ukuthi uhlala usemva.

Umcwaningi wase-Harvard u-Amy Edmondson udweba umugqa owusizo phakathi kwamaphutha angenakunakekela nalokho akubiza ngokwehluleka okuhlakaniphile, lokho okwenzeka endaweni entsha lapho impendulo ibingeke ibhekwe ngaphambili, obekulandela umgomo wangempela, futhi obekugcinwa kungekhulu kunalokho okwakudinga ukuze kufunde okuthile. Isinqumo esingalungile esenziwe ngokucabangela, ezimweni ezingajwayelekile, nohlangothi olubi lulawulwa, akulona ukwehluleka kokwahlulela. Kuyindlela noma ubani osebenza ngaphansi kokungaqiniseki enza inqubekelaphambili ngayo. Ikhono akukona ukugwema wonke umzila ongalungile. Kungukugcina omubi mncane nokufunda kuwo ngokushesha.

Okukhomba emuva ekubuyiselweni emuva nasekubhaleni phansi ukucabanga kwakho. Izinqumo ongazilungisa, kanye nerekhodi lokuthi kungani wakhetha, kuphendula amaphutha akho abe ulwazi esikhundleni sokuzisola.

Ukunquma lapho abanye abantu bebukele

Iningi lezinqumo ezinzima alenziwa wedwa. Unquma neqembu, noma ngenxa yalo, futhi ukungaqiniseki kwakho kuba umbuzo wobuholi phezu kowokuhlaziya. Ukwenzeka kwemvelo ukufihla ukungabaza, ukubonisa ukuzethemba okuphelele ukuze kungabi khona ophaphathekayo. Ngokuvamile lokho kubuyela emuva. Abantu bangazwa igebe phakathi kobuso bakho obuzinzile namaqiniso axegayo, futhi ukungahambelani kufundeka njengokuphika noma ukungathembeki.

Kunesinyathelo esizinzile kakhulu. Sho okwaziyo, sho ongakwazi, usho okhetha khona noma kunjalo. "Nakhu okucacile, nakhu esingeke sikwazi okwamanje, nasi isinqumo engisenzayo nokuthi kungani, nasi isignali eyosenza sishintshe." Lolo hlobo lwenkulumo esobala alufundeki njengobuthakathaka. Lufundeka njengomuntu olawula inqubo kunokuzenza sengathi ulawula umphumela. Luphinde lwenze kuphephe kubantu abakuzungezile ukukhomba into abayibonayo owayiphutha, okuvame ukuba ulwazi obeludinga kakhulu futhi obungeke uluthole ukube ubenza umdlalo wokuqiniseka.

Umgomo akukona ukwenza iqembu lingezwa lutho. Kungukubanika umuntu onekhanda elicacile abangathatha kuye isibonelo ngesikhathi isithombe sisakhiwa. Ukuzinza mayelana nokuthi uzonquma kanjani kubaluleke kakhulu eqenjini elikhathazekile kunokuzethemba okungamanga mayelana nokuzokwenzeka.

Lapho kukhulu kunesonto elinzima

Kunomehluko phakathi kwesisindo esivamile sokunquma ngaphansi kwengcindezi nento edinga ukusekelwa okwengeziwe. Uma uthola ukuthi izinqumo, ngisho ezincane, zizwakala zingenzeki amasonto ngokulandelana, uma uvalo lokukhetha luvuza ebuthongweni bakho noma esifisweni sakho sokudla noma endleleni ophatha ngayo abantu abaseduze nawe, noma uma ingcindezi izwakala ingesona isikhathi esimatasa kodwa iyinkungu ongeke uphume kuyo, lokho kufanelwe ukuletha kudokotela noma umeluleki wengqondo. Ukungakwazi ukunquma okuqhubekayo nokukhandleka okungaphansi kwakho kungaba izimpawu zokukhathazeka noma ukucindezeleka, futhi lokho kusabela kahle ekusizweni kwangempela. Ukufinyelela kulokho akulona uphawu lokuthi awukwazi ukuphatha izinqumo zakho. Kungesinye sezinqumo ezingcono ongazenza.

Isikhathi esiningi, nokho, umsebenzi mncane futhi uvamile. Zolisa umzimba wakho. Qamba ukwesaba. Setha ibhamu. Bheka umnyango. Khetha, ubhale phansi ukuthi kungani. Ngeke uzizwe uqinisekile. Uyobe usunqumile nje, ngamabomu, nokungcono kwakho okutholakalayo, okuyikho konke noma ubani ake akwenza.

Imithombo

Ngaphambi kokuba uhambe: igama ngokunakekela

KEEP CALM inikeza amathuluzi amahhala, afundisayo, okuzisiza. Lokhu akuseluleko lwezokwelapha, ukuxilongwa, noma ukwelashwa, futhi akuthathi indawo yokunakekelwa uchwepheshe. Uma kukhona lapha okuzwakala kunzima kunengcindezi evamile, kuyisinyathelo esinamandla nesifanele ukuxhumana nochwepheshe.

If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, you are not alone. In the US, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24/7), text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line), or call 911 in an emergency.