Umhlangano wakho nomphathi ungoLwesine futhi usunqumile ukuthi yilo lapho ekugcineni uzokusho khona. Unelungelo lokwenza njalo. Ukhiphe izinto kulo nyaka ebezingekho ngaphambi kokufika kwakho, wathatha umsebenzi okungekho owakwabela wona, futhi imakethe isishintshile kusukela mhla umuntu ebheka inombolo yakho okokugcina. Into ongakabi nayo ngumusho.
Yilelo igebe langempela, futhi lincane. Iseluleko esiningi ngokukhushulelwa siphelela ekutheni yenza icala lakho, okuyingxenye osuvele wazi ukuyenza. Izinto ezintathu ezicijile zinquma umphumela, futhi zontathu zingafundeka ngantambama eyodwa: inombolo eyodwa eqondile, umusho owodwa oyithwalayo, nokuzithiba ukuze ungasho lutho neze imizuzwana engamashumi ayisithupha elandelayo. Le ndatshana isohlangothini lwakho lwetafula indlela yonke.
Ngithini ngempela lapho ngicela ukukhushulelwa?
Sho umusho owodwa onenombolo eyodwa kuwo, bese uthula. Into eseduze nalokhu: ngokusekelwe kulokho engikuthathile kulo nyaka nalokho imakethe ekukhokhelayo ngakho, ngicela ukukhuphukela kumashumi ayisishiyagalolunye nanhlanu ezinkulungwane.
Yilokho ukucela konke. Qaphela lokho okungekho kukho. Akukho ukuxolisa, akukho isingeniso ngokuthi uyalithanda kangakanani iqembu, akukho ukuthi bengizibuza ukuthi mhlawumbe, futhi akukho ububanzi. Ububanzi bufundwa busuka phansi njalo, ngabantu abangenalunya, abenza nje umsebenzi wabo ngenombolo obanike yona. Isibalo esisodwa akusibo ubudlova. Siyafundeka, futhi okufundekayo yikho okwenziwayo.
Kusho ngezwi elizinzile, ngomsindo ojwayelekile, ngesivinini sakho esijwayelekile. Uma isheshiswa, inombolo izwakala njengento othemba ukuphunyuka ngayo. Uma ishiwo ngesivinini esifana neminye imisho yakho, izwakala njengeqiniso osuvele ulihlolile, okuyikho kanye eliyikho.
Ngiyikhetha kanjani inombolo?
Thatha imiphumela emithathu enosuku yonyaka wakho, uthole amaphuzu edatha amabili noma amathathu angaphandle mayelana nesikhundla sakho nendawo yakho, bese ukhetha isibalo esiqondile ngasogwini oluphezulu lwalokho lokho okukusekelayo. Ukunemba kunqoba ugqozi lapha, ngoba inombolo enezibalo ezibonakalayo ngemuva kwayo iyayisinda ingxoxo inombolo enkulu eyindilinga engeke iyisinde.
Imiphumela emithathu ibaluleke ngaphezu kwedatha yemakethe, futhi ayilona ufinyezo lokuthi usebenza kanzima kangakanani. Inosuku, ingeyakho, futhi ngayinye inomphumela onamathiselwe. Ukuthi ngaphatha ukudluliswa kwedatha ngoMashi lwaqedwa amasonto amabili kusenesikhathi kungumphumela. Ukuthi bengizinikele ngempela kulo nyaka akuwona, futhi umuntu ongaphesheya kwetafula usewuzwile owesibili izikhathi ezingamashumi amane.
Ngedatha yangaphandle, yazi ukuthi abantu bakukala kabi kangakanani lokhu. Ucwaningo lwasensimini olushicilelwe yi-National Bureau of Economic Research lwathola ukuthi abasebenzi babenokungaqondi okukhulu mayelana nalokho abaphathi babo abakuholayo nokungaqondi okuncane kodwa okungokoqobo mayelana nozakwabo, okusho ukuthi inombolo esekhanda lakho cishe ayikaze ihlolwe ngalutho. Amaphuzu edatha angempela amabili noma amathathu anele ukuyeka ukuqagela.
Umsunguli we-KEEP CALM uyiphuzu elisizayo lapha kunokuba abe umbono nje. Wasebenza kanzima impilo yakhe yonke, wafisa okungaphezu kwalokho ayenakho kuzo zonke izigaba, futhi wakucela ngokuzwakalayo esazola ngokwanele ukubamba ikamelo. Ukufuna imali eyengeziwe akusona isici sobuntu okumele silawulwe. Kuyikhono elinombhalo, futhi ususeduze nokuba nawo lowo mbhalo.
Ngenzenjani ngemuva kokucela bese bethula?
Lutho. Vumela ukuthula kuqhubeke isikhathi eside noma singakanani, ungakugcwalisi ngokuzikhulumela, ngokwehlisa inombolo noma ngehlaya lokwesaba.
Yile ngxenye cishe wonke umuntu alahlekelwa yiyo, futhi kunocwaningo lwangempela ngokuthi kungani ukubambelela kusebenza. Umsebenzi ophuma e-MIT Sloan, owashicilelwa ku-Journal of Applied Psychology, walinganisa amakhefu okuthula okungenani ayemizuzwana emithathu ezingxoxweni futhi wathola ukuthi lawo makhefu ayevame ukufika ngaphambi nje kokufinyelela izixazululo, ngoba ukuthula kuphazamisa umqondo othi uhlangothi olulodwa kufanele lulahlekelwe ukuze olunye lunqobe futhi kudlulisela bobabili endaweni yokucabanga ngokucophelela. Ukuthula akusona isenzo samandla ngokumelene nomunye umuntu. Kuyisikhathi sokucabanga enisithola nobabili simahhala.
Ukuthi kuzwakala kanjani kungenye indaba. Imizuzwana emithathu yokuthula ngemuva kokusho inombolo izwakala ngathi ingamashumi amabili. Kulungiselele lokho kusengaphambili. Khetha into ozobeka kuyo amehlo akho, gcina izandla zakho zithule, bese ubavumela bakhulume kuqala. Uma kumele wenze okuthile, khipha umoya kancane ngamakhala.
Ngizilungiselela kanjani ekuseni kwalolo suku?
Zivocavoce noma uhambe kakhulu ekuseni, udle ukudla kwangempela, bese ulokotha umusho ngokuzwakalayo kanye kuphela. Isimo ongena naso yikho okunquma ukuthi ungayibamba yini imizuzwana engamashumi ayisithupha yokuthula, futhi ayikho indlela yokufaka leso simo ngehora lesibili ntambama.
Lokhu kubikwa njengendlela yomsunguli uqobo hhayi njengomyalelo. Ukuzivocavoca kwakungenye yezindlela ayethwala ngayo ingcindezi yokwakha umsebenzi, futhi isethi enzima ekuseni ukuzola okuzilolongelwa ngaphansi komthwalo hhayi umsebenzi wempilo enhle nje. Umzimba uyithuluzi ongena nalo ekamelweni, futhi yilona kuphela ithuluzi elikhona lapho onikazi walo.
Lokotha kanye, hhayi izikhathi ezingamashumi amabili. Ukusho umusho ngokuzwakalayo kanye kufakazela ukuthi ungakwazi ukuwukhipha ngezwi langempela. Ukuwusho izikhathi ezingamashumi amabili kuwenza ube umdlalo, futhi imidlalo inemigqa ongayikhohlwa.
Kuthiwani uma impendulo ingu-cha?
Buza imibuzo emibili bese uhamba nosuku. Kufanele kwenzekeni ukuze lokhu kube u-yebo, futhi kufanele sikubuke nini futhi. U-cha onosuku uyihlelo lesikhathi, u-cha ongenalo ungu-cha nje, futhi nguwe wedwa kulelo kamelo ongaguqula omunye abe omunye.
Bhala phansi lolo suku lapho uzolubona khona, enyangeni yalo, futhi luyeka ukuba ukwenqatshwa luqale ukuba yisikhala kukhalenda. Bese uqhubeka nokukhipha imiphumela enosuku, ngoba ingxoxo elandelayo iqala ngalokho okwenzeke phakathi kwazo zombili.
Ungawufundi u-cha njengolwazi ngenani lakho. Kuwulwazi ngesikhathi, ngemijikelezo yesabelomali nangemikhawulo eyayivele isekamelweni ngaphambi kwakho, futhi akukho kwalokho okuyisigwebo ngawe.
Into enenzuzo enkulu ongayenza ngaleli khono ngenyanga ezayo
Yisebenzise komunye umuntu. Usanda kufunda ukusho inombolo ngezwi elizinzile nokubamba ukuthula ngemuva kwayo, futhi kunezinyathelo ezimbili eziguqula lokho kube yinto enkulu kakhulu kunokukhushulelwa okukodwa.
Esokuqala ukutshela osebenza naye osemncane ukuthi uhola malini ngempela. Kubantu abaningi kakhulu, umusho owodwa owusizo kunayo yonke owake washiwo kubo emsebenzini wabo kwakuyinombolo yangempela, eshiwo ngokuzwakalayo, ngumuntu obengaphoqekile ukuyisho. Akukubizi lutho ngaphandle kwesibindi. Imithetho emibili ikugcina kucacile: nikeza inombolo yakho hhayi eyomunye umuntu, futhi uyinike lowo esiza yena hhayi ikamelo lonke.
Esesibili ukusho igama lalowo muntu ekamelweni lapho izinombolo zibekwa khona. Lapha umehluko phakathi kokweluleka nokuxhasa uyabaluleka, futhi abantu abaningi abakaze bawuchazelwe. Umeluleki ukunika iseluleko ekhefi. Umxhasi usho igama lakho ekamelweni ongekho kulo. Inkokhelo inqunywa ekamelweni hhayi ekhefi, yingakho umxhasi oyedwa elingana namakhapuchino ayikhulu, futhi yingakho umusho ongakwazi ukuwukhokhela ubaluleke kumuntu ngaphezu kwehora lesikhathi sakho.
Umsunguli we-KEEP CALM ukuchaza lokhu njengenye yezimfihlo zempumelelo yakhe, ekwenza indlela yonke eya phezulu kunokukwenza esefikile. Wayehlala efuna amathuba okubonga nokumela abantu abamzungezile, futhi uthi okwabuya kwakuphindwe kayishumi. Lokho ngukulandisa kwakhe ngempilo yakhe kunokuba yinzuzo umuntu ayikweletwayo. Ingxenye eshibhile ayiphikiswa: ukusho igama lomuntu kubiza umusho owodwa, futhi idumela lokuba umuntu owakha abantu yilo elikuqashisa okulandelayo.
Akukho kwalokho okuthatha indawo yokucela. Cela kuqala, ukhokhelwe, bese uchitha ingxenye yesithunzi osanda kusithenga kumuntu onaso kancane. Yilowo umehluko phakathi komsebenzi oqongelelayo nomsebenzi owandayo.
Imithombo
- MIT Sloan School of Management, In negotiation, use silence to improve outcomes for all
- MIT Sloan School of Management, Silence is golden: New research out of MIT's Sloan School of Management suggests that extended silence during negotiations leads to better results for both parties
- National Bureau of Economic Research, How Much Does Your Boss Make? The Effects of Salary Comparisons