Uthole ukwenyuselwa, noma isikhundla, noma iklayenti obulijaha unyaka wonke. Ubunelungelo lokukufuna futhi ubunelungelo lokuyokuthatha. Bese, cishe emasontweni amabili kamuva, waqaphela into ekhathaza kancane: umgomo wawusushintshile buthule futhi, futhi wawusuzilinganisa nenombolo entsha ongazange uyikhethe.
Lokho akusiyo inkanuko futhi akulona iphutha lobuntu bakho. Yilokho okwenzeka kunoma iyiphi inombolo engakaze ibhalwe phansi. Umgomo ongenagama uyakhukhuleleka, futhi lokho okhukhulekela kukho yilokho abantu abakuzungezile ababukeka behola kona.
Ukuqamba inombolo yakho kulungisa lokho, futhi akukulungisi ngokukucela ukuthi ufune okuncane. Okwanele kungumgomo, hhayi isivalo, futhi yisibalo esikutshela ukuthi yimuphi umzamo oqondiswe empilweni yakho nokuthi yimuphi oqondiswe kweyomunye umuntu.
Ngiyithola kanjani imali eyanele kimi?
Chaza uLwesibili olulodwa olujwayelekile obungajabula ukuluphila futhi, bese ubala ukuthi inyanga yalolo Lwesibili ibiza malini. Yileyo inombolo yakho eyanele, futhi isebenza ngoba yakhiwa empilweni oyifunayo ngempela hhayi esibalweni osizwe endaweni ethile.
Kwenze ngalowo mhlobo bese kuthatha cishe imizuzu engamashumi amane. Bhala uLwesibili kuqala, ngemininingwane yangempela nangesikhathi samanje. Uvuka kuphi. Udlani. Ingabe uyahamba uya emsebenzini, futhi kanjani. Umzimba wakho wenzani ngalolo suku, ngoba ihora lokuzivocavoca ngumugqa wangempela onezindleko zangempela futhi ukuwushiya kukunika inombolo ongeke uphile ngayo. Ubona bani kusihlwa. Yini ongadingi ukuyikhathazeka.
Bese uyayibala. Hlanganisa inyanga leyo Lwesibili elusho yona: indawo yokuhlala, ukudla, ezokuthutha, impilo, ukuzivocavoca, ukunakekelwa kwezingane, uhambo, kanye nomugqa wezinto ezingahleliwe wonke umuntu akhohlwa yizo. Wenyusele phezulu esikhundleni sokwehlisa. Umphumela yisibalo esisodwa senyanga nomusho owodwa ochaza usuku. Izinto ezimbili, zombili zibhaliwe, zombili zinosuku.
Kungani inombolo iqhubeka ishintsha uma sengifikile?
Ngoba uma singekho isibalo osikhethile usebenzisa abantu abakuzungezile njengesilinganiso, futhi abantu abakuzungezile bahlala beshintsha njengoba ukhuphuka. Lokhu kubhaliwe kahle hhayi ubuthakathaka bakho.
Ucwaningo lwamazwe ayikhulu nesishiyagalolunye olwashicilelwa ku-Nature Communications lwathola ukuthi kwangamaphesenti angamashumi ayisishiyagalombili awo, inhlalakahle yayilandela izinga lomholo womuntu ngaphakathi ezweni lakubo ngamandla amakhulu kunomholo wakhe uqobo. Yileyo indlela umgomo oshintshayo osebenza ngayo. Ukukhushulwa ngakunye kukubeka egumbini elehlukile kancane, izinga liqala kabusha, futhi inombolo oyijaha ungazi ikhuphuka nayo. Akekho onquma lokho. Kwenzeka nje kunoma ubani ongazange aqambe isibalo sakhe.
Inombolo ebhaliwe yikho ukuvikeleka, futhi kubiza kancane. Uma inombolo yakho eyanele isikhona, igumbi elisha ngeke liyishintshe buthule. Usengakwazi ukukhetha ukuyikhulisa, ngamabomu, ngenhloso, ngesizathu. Ongeke usakwazi ukukwenza ukuthi ikhushulwe ngenxa yengxoxo yasesidlweni sasemini.
Ingabe imali eningi iyaqhubeka yenza impilo ibe ngcono?
Kubantu abaningi, yebo, yingakho lesi sihloko singapheli ngokuphakamisa ukuthi uyeke. Ucwaningo olubili olungcono kunazo zonke kulesi sihloko lwafinyelela ezimpendulweni ezehlukene bese ababhali balo bahlala phansi ndawonye bazivumelanisa.
Iphepha lango-2010 likaDaniel Kahneman no-Angus Deaton ku-Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences lathola ukuthi indlela abantu ababhekana ngayo nezimpilo zabo yayiqhubeka ikhuphuka nomholo, kanti inhlalakahle yabo yemizwa yansuku zonke yayibonakala ilinganisa. Iphepha lango-2023 kuwo lowo mmagazini elabhalwa nguMatthew Killingsworth, uKahneman noBarbara Mellers labuyekeza lokho njengokubambisana kokuphikisana futhi laxazulula ukungqubuzana: kubantu abaningi injabulo iyaqhubeka ikhuphuka nomholo ngale kophahla lwangaphambili, futhi ukulinganisa kwatholakala kugxile engxenyeni yesihlanu yabantu abangajabule kunabo bonke.
Kufunde ngeqiniso bese kusho izinto ezimbili ngasikhathi sinye. Ukufuna okwengeziwe akulona uhambo lweziphukuphuku, futhi inzuzo ingeyangempela. Futhi ubukhulu benzuzo buncike kakhulu kulokho okwenzeka ngaphansi, okuyingxenye inombolo yodwa engeke iyilungise. Ngakho qamba umgomo, bese uyawulandela, futhi ugcine okungaphansi kusesimweni esihle njengoba wenza kanjalo.
Isebenzelani imali engaphezu komugqa?
Omunye umuntu. Yiyona mpendulo yonke futhi yingxenye izihloko eziningi ngokwanele ezingafiki kuyo, ngoba umgomo ongenalutho ngaphezu kwawo uphahla nje eligqoke igama elihle.
Uma usunesibalo senyanga, umbuzo othakazelisayo uyeka ukuba ngukuthi kungakanani bese uba ngukuthi imali eseleyo isebenzelani. Kunqume nalokho kusengaphambili, kuyona leyo mizuzu engamashumi amane, ngoba imali eseleyo engenamsebenzi izozitholela wona futhi imvamisa kuzoba okunye ukuthuthuka kwezinto. Inguqulo yomsunguli wethu ibufakazi lapha hhayi isiphakamiso: uthi ukupha kwakuyenye imfihlo yempumelelo yakhe, ukuthi wayehlale efuna amathuba okuqeqesha, ukufundisa, ukweluleka, ukuphakamisa, ukubonga nokusekela abantu emkhakheni wakhe, nokuthi okwabuya kwakuphindwe kayishumi. Wakwenza yonke indlela eya phezulu, esaswele imali nesikhundla, hhayi lapho esefikile.
Ngokoqobo, imali eseleyo akuyona imali kuphela. Yisethulo obungasigcina wedwa, ntambama yekhono okhokhelwa ngalo, osebenza naye omusha omtshela lokho okuhola ngempela, negama olisho egumbini lapho bengekho khona. Ukunquma lokho kusengaphambili yikho okuguqula okwanele kusuke ekubeni umkhawulo kube uhlelo, futhi yingakho lo msebenzi kufanele ukushiye unesifiso esikhulu kunalapho uqale khona hhayi esincane. Awuqambi inombolo ukuze uyeke. Uyiqamba ukuze wazi ukuthi okusele kusebenzelani.
Kuthiwani uma inombolo yami isekude kakhulu?
Kusho ukuthi unento ewusizo kakhulu umuntu onezifiso angaba nayo, okungumgomo oqondile negebe langempela. Igebe eliqanjiwe uhlelo olulinde ukubhalwa. Elingaqanjwanga umsindo nje ophansi ongemuva.
Lihlukanise kanye. Igebe lithini ngenyanga, futhi yiliphi kwamathuluzi amathathu elilivalayo: ukuhola kakhulu, ukusebenzisa imali ngenye indlela, noma ukulinda isikhathi eside ngenkathi okuthile kwanda? Abantu abaningi bathola ukuthi impendulo kakhulu ngeyokuqala, okuyizindaba ezinhle, ngoba ukuhola kakhulu ithuluzi elinophahla oluphakeme kunawo wonke futhi yilona lo mkhakha wonke wakhelwe ukusiza ngalo. Bese ukhetha isenzo esisodwa esilandelayo bese ubeka usuku kuso, ngoba igebe elingenasuku liyisifiso nje.
Futhi ungayehlisi inombolo ukuze uzizwe ungcono namuhla ntambama. Umgomo owehlise buthule ngumgomo ongeke ukukhuthaze entwasahlobo ezayo, futhi uzokwazi ukuthi ukwenzile. Inombolo eqotho, noma ingaba iminyaka emithathu ikude, yenza umsebenzi omkhulu kunenombolo enethezekile yezinyanga eziyishumi nambili.
Yibhale phansi bese ubeka usuku kuyo
Imigqa emibili ekhasini elilodwa. Isibalo senyanga. ULwesibili, ngomusho. Bese kuba usuku owazibhala ngalo, ngoba inombolo engenasuku ngeyona ongeke uyibone ikhukhuleleka.
Yibuke kanye ngekota bese ubuza umbuzo owodwa: ingabe lolu lusengusuku engilufunayo? Ngezinye izikhathi ngeke lube lona. Abantu bayashintsha, ingane iyafika, umzimba uyashintsha, isifiso siba sikhulu kunokuncipha. Ukukhulisa inombolo yakho ngamabomu akukhona ukwehluleka kulo msebenzi, kuwumsebenzi usebenza, ngoba inhloso ibingakaze ibe ukuzibamba. Inhloso ibiwukuthi isibalo esingesakho futhi uyazi lapho sishintsha.
Lokho okutholayo ngaleyo mizuzu engamashumi amane yiyona nto eyenza iminyaka engamashumi amabili yomsebenzi onzima ibekezeleleke, futhi akukhona ukuzola ngomqondo wokwehlisa isivinini. Kuwukuqonda kwamehlo. Uzoxoxisana ngendlela ehlukile lapho wazi kahle ukuthi uxoxisana ubheke kuphi. Uzoyisho ngokushesha into engenayo lapho umsebenzi ukhokha kahle kodwa ungakhombisi ndawo. Futhi uzosebenza kanzima emsebenzini ovala igebe, ngoba okokuqala uyakwazi ukubona igebe livaleka. Yilokho okwanele okusebenzela khona. Hhayi ukufuna okuncane. Ukufuna okuqondiswe kangcono, okubanjwe kuzinzile isikhathi eside ngokwanele ukuze ufike ngempela.
Imithombo
- Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PubMed Central), Income and emotional well-being: A conflict resolved
- Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PubMed Central), High income improves evaluation of life but not emotional well-being
- Nature Communications (PubMed Central), Social status and the relationship between income rank and well-being in 109 nations