Kukhona inguqulo yale ngxoxo lapho unezicelo ezintathu, uhla lwamathuba olugcwele, futhi kungekho lapho kumele ube khona. Lena akuyona leyo nguqulo. Uyayifuna le, uyifuna kakhulu, futhi uqiniseka ukuthi bayakubona.
Kulungile lokho. Ukuyifuna akubona ubuthakathaka futhi akuyona into okumele uyifihle. Amandla okuxoxisana ayinye kuphela yezinto ezinquma ukuthi ingxoxo ihamba kanjani, futhi kwenzeka ukuthi yiyo ongeke ukwazi ukuyishintsha kuleli sonto. Cishe konke okunye, ungakushintsha.
Ungashintsha ukuthi ulungiselele kangakanani, ukuthi kulula kangakanani ukukuvumela, nokuthi ucelani ngempela. Isandla esibuthakathaka asifani nesivumelwano esibi. Okuvala igebe ukucela izinto ezibiza cishe lutho kolunye uhlangothi, ukufika unokuthile ongakupha, nokuhlala uzinzile ngokwanele ukuze kungabi khona ophutha ukufuna nokwethuka.
Ngixoxisana kanjani lapho ngingenawo amandla?
Yeka ukuzama ukuqamba amandla bese uncintisana ngokulungiselela. Yazi isimo sabo kangcono kunabanye ababefake izicelo, ufike necebo eliqondile lezinsuku ezingamashumi ayisishiyagalolunye zokuqala, futhi ucele izinto ezishibhile kubo ukuzinika, ngoba ukuba ngumuntu okulula kunabo bonke ukumvumela kuyilo yodwa ithuba ongakwazi ukulakha kuleli sonto.
Bese uphatha ikhanda lakho, ngoba yilapho umonakalo omkhulu wenzeka khona. Ucwaningo oluqoqwe yi-Program on Negotiation lwathola ukuthi abaxoxisani ababecabanga nje ukuthi banenye indlela eqinile benza izicelo eziqhamuka phambili ngokuphawulekayo kunalabo abangazange bakwenze lokho, okukutshela into ewusizo: ingxenye enkulu yalokho amandla amancane akubiza kona akusona isivumelwano uqobo, kungukuzinciphisa okwenza kusengaphambili. Bhala phansi ukuthi ubuzokwenzani uma lokhu kungaphumeleli, noma ngabe impendulo eqotho ithi "ngiqhubeke ngifuna amanye amasonto ayisithupha." Enye indlela oyiqambe igama ayesabeki njengengenalo igama.
Ungakhohlisi. Ukuqamba isicelo esiphikisanayo ukuwodwa umnyakazo lapha ongaqeda ubudlelwano kanye nesivumelwano, futhi akudingeki, ngoba konke okunye kulolu hlu kuyasebenza ngaphandle kwakho.
Yini engingayicela ebabiza cishe lutho?
Cela izinto ezingaphandle komugqa wesabelomali olawulwa ngomunye umuntu. Usuku lokuqala olusemuva ngamasonto amabili, isikhundla esibonisa umsebenzi owenzayo, ububanzi obubhaliwe, ukubuyekezwa ezinyangeni eziyisithupha esikhundleni seziyishumi nambili, isabelomali sokuqeqeshwa, izinsuku zokusebenzela ekhaya, imishini, ukuthi ngubani owenza umsebenzi wokulungiselela, nokuthi ukhokhwa ngokushesha kangakanani.
Lezi akuzona izipho zenduduzo. Eziningi zazo zibiza imali yangempela, futhi uHannah Riley Bowles noBobbi Thomason bathi ku-Harvard Business Review ukuxoxisana okuhlakaniphile kumayelana nendima, imisebenzi nendlela oya ngayo phambili, kunomugqa weholo wodwa. Ukubuyekezwa kwezinyanga eziyisithupha okubhalwe encwadini yesicelo kungukuxoxisana kwesibili osukuhlelile usesikhundleni esingcono kakhulu, ngoba ngaleso sikhathi uyobe usuwenzile umsebenzi.
Zihlele ngokulandelana ngaphambi kokuba ungene. Izinto ezinhlanu, ngokulandelana, onqume kuzo endaweni ethule. Ngeke uhlele lutho phakathi nengxoxo, futhi uhlu olungahleliwe luphenduka uhlu lwezifiso ngomzuzu okuthi umuntu athi cha entweni yokuqala kulo.
Ngubani ongasho igama lami egumbini engingekho kulo?
Umuntu owazi umsebenzi wakho kakade, futhi kufanele umcele ngqo kuleli sonto. Kukhona umehluko lapha abantu abaningi abangakaze bawufunde, futhi ubaluleke kakhulu kunanoma yiliphi isu okulesi sihloko. Umeluleki ukhuluma nawe, kanti umxhasi usho igama lakho egumbini ongekho kulo.
Umeluleki ukunika izeluleko ngenkathi niphuza ikhofi. Umxhasi utshela umphathi oqasha, engacelwanga, ukuthi nguwe okumele athathelwe phezulu. Uma ungenawo amandla, ikhadi okungenzeka usaliphethe ngumuntu ozimisele ukwenza into yesibili. Ngakho cela, futhi ucacise ngalokho ofuna kushiwo, ngoba "ngikhulumele kahle" ikhiqiza amazwi amahle angacacile kanti "ungatshela uMarco ukuthi ngiphathe ukudluliswa kwezinkokhelo ngedwa" ikhiqiza umusho oshintsha umhlangano.
Nansi ingxenye eqotho, futhi ifanele ukucabangisiswa. Isizathu sokuthi ube nomuntu ongamcela yizikhathi owakwenza ngazo lokhu komunye umuntu. Umsunguli we-KEEP CALM ubalula ukubuyisela njengesinye sezizathu ezenza umsebenzi wakhe wasebenza, ehlala efuna amathuba okuqeqesha, ukweluleka, ukuncoma nokumela abantu abamzungezile, futhi uthi ukwesekwa okwabuya kwakuphindwe kayishumi. Lokho yindaba yakhe yeminyaka engamashumi amabili yakhe, hhayi umthetho ongawuthembela. Okuyiqiniso ngokusobala kuncane futhi kusawusizo: lolu hlobo losizo lufika sekwephuzile, luvela ezindaweni obungazihlelile, futhi ngokuvamile ngesonto elinjengaleli. Yileso isizathu sokukwenza manje, usaswele amandla wena, esikhundleni sakamuva lapho kukulungele.
Kufanele ngibatshele ukuthi anginaso esinye isicelo?
Awudingi ukukusho ngaphandle kokubuzwa, futhi awudingi ukuqamba amanga ngakho. Uma ubuzwa ngqo, impendulo ehlanzekile iyiqiniso futhi iphelele ngaphandle kokuba ukuvuma: "Ngikhuluma nezindawo ezimbalwa, futhi le yiyona engiyifunayo, yingakho ngizama ukulungisa imininingwane kahle."
Ukuthula ngezinye izindlela zakho akukhona ukukhohlisa. Olunye uhlangothi alukutsheli isabelomali salo esiphezulu, ingcindezi yesikhathi salo, noma ukuthi lesi sikhundla sesivuleke isikhathi esingakanani. Zombili izinhlangothi zinelungelo lokugcina imininingwane yazo eyimfihlo. Okungafanele ukwenze ukuqamba esinye isicelo esiphikisanayo, ngoba uma nje sihlolwa kanye ulahlekelwa umsebenzi nencomo ngantambama yinye.
Uma becindezela, buyisela ingxoxo emsebenzini. "Ngingathanda ukukhuluma ngokuthi ubukhulu bomsebenzi nesikhathi sokubuyekeza kuyasebenza yini, ngoba yizo izinto ezinquma ukuthi ngizoba kahle yini lapha ngonyaka ozayo."
Ngigcina kanjani izwi lami lizinzile ngesikhathi ngikufuna kangaka?
Yehlisa isivinini ngamabomu. Yima amasekhondi amathathu ngaphambi kokuphendula noma yini, thatha amanothi ngepeni langempela ukuze izandla zakho zibe nomsebenzi, bese uphinda inani labo kanye ngaphambi kokuliphendula.
Ukufuna into kakhulu akulenzi izwe lakho lithuthumele. Ukusheshisa yikho okukwenzayo. Ukuma amasekhondi amathathu ngaphambi kwempendulo ngayinye, hhayi kuphela ezinzima, akudaluli lutho futhi kukuthengela umehluko phakathi komusho ocatshangisisiwe nento yokuqala efika engqondweni. Ingxenye yomzimba nayo ayiyona imfihlakalo. Abantu abaqeqeshayo ngaphansi komthwalo baziqeqeshile ukuhlala bezolile lapho inhliziyo yabo igijima, futhi kungenye yezindlela ezijwayelekile umuntu onamaphupho amakhulu athwala ngazo ingcindezi ngaphandle kokuyivuza engxoxweni.
Amandla amancane kuyisikhathi, hhayi isinqumo saphakade
Ngeke uhlale ungumuntu okudinga ngaphezu kwabanye. Amandla okuxoxisana akhiwa ngezinye izindlela ozinikwayo, futhi lezo zindlela zakhiwa ngobudlelwano, ngedumela nangamakhono akhula iminyaka ngenkathi wena umatasa wenza ezinye izinto.
Ngakho sithathe lesi sivumelwano ngokuqinile, kodwa usithathe ngesilinganiso. Thola usuku lokuqala, thola isikhundla, thola ukubuyekezwa kubhaliwe, yiba ngu-yebo olula kunabo bonke ohlwini lwabo, bese uhamba wenze umsebenzi owenza ingxoxo elandelayo ibe nesimo esehlukile. Bese uchitha ingxenye yalowo nyaka wakha into esusa le nkinga ngempela: abantu abawazi umsebenzi wakho ngokwanele ukuba basho igama lakho bengacelwanga, nohlobo lokuzinza olusho ukuthi isonto elinzima alilokothi lixoxisane egameni lakho.
Umqondo akukhona ukufuna kancane. Ukufuna kakhulu, ucele kahle noma ngabe umi kuphi, futhi usabe khona emdlalweni eminyakeni eyishumi, uphethe isandla esingcono kakhulu.
Imithombo
- Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, How to Make a Good Deal When You Lack Power
- Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, What is BATNA? How to Find Your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement
- Harvard Business Review, Negotiating Your Next Job