Usesigabeni esihle kunazo zonke somsebenzi owake wawenza. Into oyakhayo iyiqiniso, iyahamba, futhi okokuqala umzamo wakho usubonakala emiphumeleni abanye abantu abangayibona. Lokho kufanelwe ukubanjwa futhi kufanelwe ukuvikelwa, futhi akukho lutho olulandelayo olukucela ukuthi ukufise kancane.
Kwabe sekuthi omunye ashaye ihlaya ekudleni kwakusihlwa ngokuthi kunzima kangakanani ukukuthola kulezi zinsuku, wonke umuntu wahleka, futhi usucabange ngalo kathathu kusukela ngaleso sikhathi.
Ihlaya liwulwazi. Alusona isigwebo ngobuntu bakho noma uphawu lokuthi umgomo mkhulu kakhulu. Luwuphawu lokuthi abantu abakuzungezile sebeqale ukubona ukunaka kwakho njengokungathembeki, okuyinkinga ehlukile ekubeni umatasa futhi enesixazululo esihlukile. Ukuba matasa kuyinkinga yeshejuli, futhi amashejuli agcwele ngempela njengamanje. Ukunaka okungathembeki kuyinkinga yokwakheka, futhi izinkinga zokwakheka zixazululwa ephepheni cishe emizuzwini engamashumi amabili.
Kungani abantu bethi angikho ngisho ngisabanika isikhathi?
Ngoba balinganisa ukunaka, hhayi amahora. Umuntu ohlezi ekamelweni ephethe umakhalekhukhwini esandleni ubukeka engekho kubo bonke abanye abakhona, ngakho amahora owachitha ukhona ingxenye awafiki njengesikhathi senu ndawonye, futhi abalwa ngokuthula njengento emelene nawe.
Lokhu kuziphatha kujwayelekile ngokuphelele, yingakho kunyonyoba kubantu abanamandla. I-Pew Research Center yathola ukuthi amaphesenti angama-89 abanikazi bomakhalekhukhwini babewusebenzisile umakhalekhukhwini wabo emhlanganweni wabantu wakamuva ababa kuwo, nokuthi amaphesenti angama-82 abantu abadala bathi ukusetshenziswa komakhalekhukhwini kulezo zimo kuyayilimaza ingxoxo kaningi noma ngezikhathi ezithile. Fundani lezo zinombolo zombili ndawonye. Cishe wonke umuntu uyakwenza, futhi cishe wonke umuntu uyabona uma kwenziwa kuye.
Ucwaningo olufanayo lwathola ukuthi ingxenye enkulu yalokho kusetshenziswa komakhalekhukhwini kwakusiza iqembu ngempela: ukwabelana ngesithombe, ukubheka into ephume engxoxweni. Ngakho isixazululo akulona umthetho ohlanzekile ngamadivayisi, futhi noma ubani okutshela ukuthi hamba ngaphandle komakhalekhukhwini uxazulula inkinga encane kunaleyo onayo. Isixazululo ukunquma, kusengaphambili, ukuthi yimaphi amahora athile angahlukaniswa, bese wenza lawo mahora angahlukaniswa ngempela esikhundleni sokwenza wonke abe ngcono kancane.
Ngingahlala kanjani ngiseduze nabantu ngingawubambezeli umsebenzi?
Gcina izibopho ezimbalwa bese uzigcina ziphelele. Izimpelasonto ezimbili ngenyanga lapho ukhona ngokuphelele zingcono kunezinsuku eziyisithupha lapho ukhona ingxenye, futhi inguqulo ephelele ikubiza izimpelasonto ezine ezimbalwa.
Lokho ukushintshana okucishe kungabikho okukunika umuntu onogqozi, ngoba iningi leseluleko ngalesi sihloko libhalelwe umuntu ocelwa ukuthi asebenze kancane. Wena akunjalo. Ucelwa ukuthi uyeke ukusakaza inani elilinganiselwe lokunaka kwizibopho eziyingxenye eziya zanda, okuyilo hlelo elikhiqiza okubi kokubili: umsebenzi awukutholi ukugxila kwakho okuphelele, futhi nomunye umuntu akakutholi.
Izinyathelo ezintathu zikwenza kucace. Sho abantu ababili abathola amahora angahlukaniswa kule nyanga, ngamagama abo, ubhale phansi. Faka isikhathi sabo esimisiwe kukhalenda ngaphambi kokuba ufake usuku lokugcina lomsebenzi, ngoba usuku lokugcina luzothatha noma yini esele futhi luzoyithatha lungabuzanga. Bese ugcina leso sikhathi umakhalekhukhwini wakho ukwelinye ikamelo, okuyinto encane eyenza cishe wonke umsebenzi, ngoba umakhalekhukhwini uwukuphela kwento ekamelweni ekwenza ubukeke ungekho kanti ukhona.
I-Harvard Study of Adult Development ilandelele iqembu elifanayo kusukela ngo-1938, futhi okutholakele ekulokhu ikubika ukuthi ubudlelwano obuseduze, ngaphezu kwemali noma udumo, yibo obugcina abantu bejabule impilo yonke. Phatha ukudla kwakusihlwa okumisiwe ngendlela osuvele uphatha ngayo ubuthongo nokuzivocavoca: njengesisekelo umgudu omude oncike kuso, hhayi njengomvuzo wokuqeda umsebenzi.
Ngithini ngempela uma ngidinga ukuvikela lawo mahora?
Sho ukuthi lawo mahora awani bese unikeza enye indlela yangempela enosuku kuyo. "Ngizimbozile ngomsebenzi kuze kufike umhlaka-14. NgoLwesine mhlaka-16, sidla kwakusihlwa, ngingowakho" ngumusho abantu abawamukelayo, ngoba ubalula ukuphela futhi ubanika into ethile esikhundleni sokuxolisa.
Okungasebenzi inguqulo engacacile. "Izinto zishubile njengamanje" ayinalo usuku lokuphela, ngakho umuntu uzwa ukwehliswa okungapheli. Ukunyamalala bese uchaza kabanzi ngemuva kwesikhathi kubi nakakhulu, ngoba incazelo ifika sebevele bawehlisile umlindelo abanawo ngawe.
Eminye imisho emibili okufanele uyilungiselele. Uma ungakwazi ukuthatha into: "Ngifuna ukuyenza kahle futhi angikwazi ukuyenza kahle kule nyanga. Ngibuze futhi ngo-Okthoba ngizothi yebo." Uma ubanjwa wenza le nto le ndatshana ekhuluma ngayo: "Uqinisile, bengikhona ingxenye. Beka umakhalekhukhwini wakho phansi, nami ngizobeka owami ekhishini." Ukukusho ngokuzwakalayo cishe akubizi lutho futhi kuyakushintsha masinyane ukuthi abantu bakubuka kanjani.
Ngingabakhonza kanjani abantu uma ngingenazo ngempela izinsuku zakusihlwa?
Chitha isithunzi esikhundleni sesikhathi. Ukwethula kwabantu okukodwa, umusho owodwa wokudumisa okuqondile phambi kwabantu abanquma unyaka womunye umuntu, ihora elilodwa lekhono okhokhelwa ngalo: akukho kwalokho okudinga ubusuku, futhi konke kufika namandla amakhulu kunokudla kwakusihlwa lapho ingqondo yakho ihamba.
Yile ngxenye cishe okungekho muntu oyitshela umuntu omatasa, futhi yisona sizathu esenza iseluleko ngomsebenzi nempilo singabanamathelisi abantu abanjengawe. Awukwazi ukukhiqiza amanye amahora kule kota. Okwazi ukukwenza ukuchitha imali obuyiqongelela ungayithinti. Ukusebenza ngamandla kukuthengela isithunzi. Isithunzi sichithwa ngemizuzwana. Ubusuku abenzi njalo.
Ukuziphatha okune kungena ngaphakathi kwekuseni langoLwesibili.
- Ukuxhasa esikhundleni sokweluleka. Umeluleki ukhuluma nawe. Umxhasi usho igama lakho ekamelweni ongekho kulo. Abantu abaningi abazi ukuthi kukhona umehluko, futhi i-Catalyst ikhuluma iqonde ngqo ngentengo: ukweluleka kubalulekile, kodwa kukukodwa akwanele ukuthuthukisa abesifazane, futhi ukukhulunyelwa umuntu onethonya yikho okulinganisa inkundla.
- Ukubonga obala, ngokuqondile. Ukudumisa okungacacile kungumsindo. Ukusho lokho umuntu akwenzile ngempela, phambi kwalowo omcabango wakhe ngaye ubalulekile, kungumcimbi omkhulu emsebenzini wakhe futhi kukubiza umusho owodwa.
- Ukwethula abantu obungabagcina kuwe wedwa, kuthunyelwe njengemigqa emibili ekuseni ngoLwesibili, bobabili bebuzwe kuqala.
- Ukuzinikela ngekhono okhokhelwa ngalo, hhayi ngamahora akho kuphela. Ihora elilodwa lento oyingcweti kuyo lilingana nosuku lonke losizo olujwayelekile, futhi yiyo inguqulo ongakwazi ngempela ukuyikhokhela njengamanje.
Umsunguli we-KEEP CALM ukubeka lokhu eceleni kokusebenza kanzima nokuzola kunokuba ngemuva kwakho. Ngokwendaba yakhe, wayehlala efuna amathuba okuqeqesha, ukufundisa, ukweluleka, ukuphakamisa, ukubonga nokumela abantu ababesendaweni yakhe, indlela yonke eya phezulu hhayi lapho esefikile, futhi uthi ukusekelwa okwabuya kwakuphindwe kayishumi kunalokho akufaka. Lokho ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe eminyakeni yakhe engamashumi amabili, hhayi izinga umuntu angakuthembisa lona.
Kuthiwani uma umuntu enginyamalala kuye ehlala nami?
Khona-ke isikhathi sabo singena kukhalenda kuqala futhi kuyinto yokugcina evunyelwe ukuthi ishintshe. Umuntu ohlala nogqozi lwakho usuvele uthwele ingxenye yentengo yalo, ngakho uthola amahora okungavunyelwe muntu ukuwaqophisana.
Izinto ezimbili zikwenza kube okwangempela kunokuba umuzwa nje. Sho ukuthi umjaho uyini nokuthi uphela nini, ngosuku, bese uyalugcina lolo suku noma uxoxisane ngalo ngokuzwakalayo ngaphambi kokuba lufike. Futhi buza ukuthi bafuna lawo mahora abe yini esikhundleni sokucabangela, ngoba impendulo ivame ukuba mncane futhi iqondile ngaphezu kokulindele: ukudla kwakusihlwa okukodwa kungekho omakhalekhukhwini, noma ukushayela abantwana esikoleni ngoLwesithathu, noma ukwazi nje ukuthi uzobuya ngobuphi ubusuku.
Inguqulo yalokhu ehlala iminyaka engamashumi amabili
Akukho kulokhu okuyibhuleki. Izibopho ezimbalwa ezigcinwa ziphelele ziyindlela esheshayo kunezibopho eziningi ezigcinwa uhhafu, ngoba ukuba khona ngengxenye kukubiza amahora futhi kungabuyisi lutho, nangoba abantu abathola ukunaka kwakho kwangempela yibo abakutshela iqiniso, abakunika ithuba elilandelayo futhi abenza ikota embi ibekezeleleke.
Ngakho bhala phansi lawo magama amabili. Faka isikhathi sabo kukhalenda ngaphambi kokungena kosuku lokugcina. Chitha isithunzi kumuntu othile njalo ngesonto, ngoba kungena ezikhaleni futhi kuyanda. Bese ubuyela emsebenzini, ushise, ingxenye yempilo yakho eyenza umsebenzi ukwazi ukwenzeka isaphelele nangonyaka weshumi.
Imithombo
- Pew Research Center, Americans' Views on Mobile Etiquette
- Harvard Gazette, Good genes are nice, but joy is better
- Catalyst, Build Effective Workplace Sponsorship and Mentoring Programs