Ukwazi lokhu futhi uhlelo luyasebenza. Yileyo ingxenye enzima. Akekho odinga indaba yokushiya into eyehlulekile, ngoba ukwehluleka kusenzela isinqumo futhi wonke umuntu uyavuma ngaso.
Lesi yisimo esinye, esidinga ukwahlulela kwangempela. Usungene ngokwanele kangangokuthi ukuhamba kungadinga ukuchazwa kubantu abangaba yisishiyagalolunye. Into ihamba kahle. Futhi awusakufuni lokho okulinde ekugcineni kwayo.
Ukushintsha umqondo lapha kuyikhono hhayi ukwehluleka kwesimilo, futhi ukukuphatha njengekhono yikho okuvimbela ukuthi iminyaka engamashumi amabili yokusebenza iguqukele ekubeni yimpikiswano eyodwa ende nesinqumo owasenza useneminyaka engamashumi amabili nesithupha. Isu akukhona ukuphenya ugqozi lwakho noma ukuqina kwakho. Ukuhlukanisa umgomo nesizathu esingaphansi kwawo, ngoba lezo zinto ezimbili cishe azilokothi zifane futhi kunye kwazo kuphela okumele kuphile.
Ingabe lokhu ukuyeka, noma ukushintsha umqondo?
Hlola isizathu esingaphansi komgomo esikhundleni somgomo uqobo. Uma isizathu sisamile futhi kuyimoto kuphela esiyekile ukusifanela, lokho kuwukushintsha indlela; uma isizathu uqobo singasekho, lokho kungukushintsha umqondo kwangempela, futhi kokubili kuyimiphumela esemthethweni yokunaka.
Isibonelo siyakwenza kucace. Umgomo ukuba ngumhwebi omkhulu enkampanini. Cindezela kuwo bese isizathu esingaphansi siba yilesi: ngifuna umsebenzi ocacile ukuthi ngowami futhi okhokha kahle ngokwanele ukuze imali iyeke ukuba yingxoxo yanyanga zonke. Ubudlelwano bobunikazi yindlela eyodwa yalokho. Ezinye ezimbili wumsebenzi wakho wangasese nesikhundla esiphezulu enkampanini ekhokhela ubuchwepheshe obuyivelakancane. Uma uwushiya umgudu wobunikazi bese uthatha esinye salezo, ushintshe indlela, hhayi ukubheka kwakho, futhi kufanele ukuchaze kanjalo kuwe nakubo bonke abanye.
Omunye umphumela ungowangempela nawo. Ngezinye izikhathi isizathu sesiphelelwe yisikhathi ngempela: wawukufuna lokho useneminyaka engamashumi amabili nesithupha ngenxa yempilo ongasayiphili. Lolo wulwazi, futhi ukwenza ngalo kusenesikhathi kushibhe kunokwenza ngalo ngonyaka wesishiyagalolunye.
Ngisibhala kanjani phansi isizathu esingaphansi komgomo?
Bhala umgomo, bese uphendula "ukuze" uze ufike entweni ongeke uphikisane nayo. Izikhathi ezintathu noma ezine zivamise ukwanela, futhi umugqa wokugcina osalayo yiso isizathu.
Uma kusetshenzwa ngakho, kubukeka kanje. Ngifuna ukuphatha isitudiyo sami, ukuze ngilawule ukuthi sithatha muphi umsebenzi, ukuze ngiyeke ukwakha izinto engingazikholelwa, ukuze umsebenzi engiwenzayo ufanele iminyaka engiyifaka kuwo. Lowo mugqa wokugcina uyahlala. Uphinde uhlolwe, okuyiphuzu lokuwubhala phansi: ungabuza ukuthi ingabe indlela oyihambayo iyawuletha yini, futhi ungabuza ukuthi ingabe enye indlela ingawuletha yini.
Bese wenza uhlolo olubamba iningi lezexwayiso ezingamanga. Uma ubuthola isizathu kusasa ngenye indlela, ubuzowufuna yini usewufuna umgomo? Uma impendulo ithi yebo, umgomo wenza umsebenzi ongaphezu kowodwa futhi kufanele uwugcine. Uma ithi cha, umgomo bewuhlala uyimoto nje.
Bese uqaphela ugibe olujwayelekile. Iningi lemiqondo eshintshiwe yisizathu esifanayo esigqoke izingubo ezintsha. Uma uhlelo olusha olujabulisayo lusebenzela isizathu esifana ncamashi nesalolu oludala, uthole indlela hhayi indawo omisele kuyona, futhi kufanele ulindele ukuthi ukungqubuzana okufanayo kuvele kuwo lowo mgcini cishe ezinyangeni eziyisishiyagalombili.
Ingabe isikhathi esengisichithile sibalwa ngalutho?
Sibalwa njengesipiliyoni futhi asibalwa njengesizathu sokuqhubeka. Leyo minyaka emine ichithekile noma uhlala noma uhamba, ngakho umbuzo ophilayo owukuthi yini leyo emine elandelayo ekuthengela yona.
Lokho kulula ukukubhala kodwa kunzima ukukuzwa, yingakho kunegama nemibhalo yocwaningo. Ocwaningweni lwempilo yonke luka-Strough, u-Bruine de Bruin, u-Parker nozakwabo, into eyanciphisa kakhulu ukukhethela isikhathi esesichithiwe kwakungekona ukutshela abantu ukuba babheke izinguquko ezingcono. Kwakuwukubakhuthaza ukuba baqale baqaphele imicabango nemizwa yabo mayelana nohlelo olwehlulekayo, okwacindezela imikhuba emibili ethile: ithemba elingenasisekelo lokuthi kuzolunga, nokusungula imininingwane emisha eyayifakazela ukuhlala. Okuthakazelisayo ukuthi abantu abadala kunabanye babezimisele kakhulu ukushiya uhlelo olwehlulekayo kuzo zonke izimo, okufundeka njengekhono abantu abalitholayo kunokwehla kwesibindi.
Inguqulo esebenzayo ithatha imizuzu eyishumi. Ngaphambi kokuba uhlole noma yini, bhala phansi lokho okuzwayo ngempela ngeminyaka esesichithekile, kufaka phakathi izingxenye eziphathelene nokuthi kuzobukeka kanjani. Bese uyahlola, lelo khasi lisecaleni kwakho hhayi ngaphakathi kuwe.
Ngibatshela kanjani abantu ngaphandle kokuba kube yindaba enkulu?
Tshela kuqala abantu ababili noma abathathu abathintekayo ngempela, ngasese, unesizathu nosuku. Bonke abanye bathola umusho owodwa olula kamuva, futhi lapho ulula khona kakhulu, kancane kakhulu umema impikiswano ongayicelanga.
Umusho osebenzayo unezingxenye ezintathu futhi awunakho ukuxolisa. Yini eshintshayo, yini engashintshi, nokuthi kusho ukuthini kubo. "Ngishintsha indlela. Isizathu siyafana, indlela ihlukile: ngifuna umsebenzi ongowami, futhi lena ayisayona indlela eya lapho. Akukho okushintshayo kuwe ngaphambi kokuphela kukaMashi." Abantu bayakwamukela lokho, ngoba kunesibindi futhi kunosuku.
Okumema impikiswano wuhambo lokuxolisa: ukuchazela isikhathi eside abantu abangenandaba, ukufuna imvume, nokuphinda izizathu zakho kunoma ubani ozolalela. Ukuxoxa ngayo ngakunye kukunika elinye ithanga lemibono okumele uyigaye, kanti akekho onolwazi lwakho. Tshela abambalwa abathintekayo ngendlela efanele, bese uyeka ukwakha icala.
Kukhona into eyodwa efanele ukwenziwa ngaphambi kwazo zonke lezo zingxoxo. Bhala umusho owodwa ozowusebenzisa, bese uwusho ngokuzwakalayo kabili. Abantu abangazikhethanga amagama abo baphetha ngokuqamba lapho bemi khona, futhi izinguqulo eziqanjwe khona lapho zalezi zindaba ziphuma sezinokuxolisa noma sezizivikela, okuyikho kanye okuguqula ukwaziswa kwemizuzu emibili kube yimpikiswano ngesimilo sakho.
Kuthiwani uma ngiphinda ngishintsha umqondo ezinyangeni eziyisithupha?
Beka usuku lokuhlola kuhlelo olusha bese uphatha ukubuyekeza njengokunakekelwa okuhleliwe hhayi njengesimo esiphuthumayo. Umgomo owubuyekeza ngosuku olukhethwe ngaphambi kwesikhathi akuwona umgomo owulahla ngantambama embi.
Kunobufakazi obuhle bokuthi leli khono linezinhlangothi ezimbili. U-Wrosch, u-Scheier, u-Miller, u-Schulz no-Carver bathola ezifundweni ezintathu ukuthi abantu abakwazi ukuyekelela umgomo ongafinyeleleki bese bezibopha kowusha babika impilo engcono, futhi lawo makhono amabili asebenza ndawonye hhayi ehlukene. Umsebenzi wakamuva weqembu elifanayo waxhumanisa ikhono lokudedela imigomo engafinyeleleki nempilo engcono ababika bona kanye namaphethini e-cortisol asuku nosuku ajwayeleke kakhulu.
Ukuzibopha kabusha yiyona ngxenye abantu abayeqayo. Ukulahla umgomo omdala ngaphandle kokukhetha omusha yilapho izindleko ezibonakala khona ngempela, ngoba ikhalenda ligcina isimo somgomo omdala izinyanga. Ngakho bala umgomo omusha ngalo lelo sonto oyeka ngalo omdala, ngisho nangokwesikhashana, bese uwunika usuku lokuhlola cishe ezinyangeni eziyisithupha.
Ukubuyekeza kuyingxenye yomdlalo omude, hhayi ukuphuma kuwo
Akukho lapha okukuvumela ukuba ufise okuncane. Isizathu sokuthi abantu abasebenza kanzima iminyaka engamashumi amabili basaqhubeka ukuthi babuyekeze indlela izikhathi ezine noma ezinhlanu ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa yisizathu, kanti labo abama babevame ukuba yilabo abavikela umgomo othile isikhathi eside emva kokuba usungasasizi ngoba ukuwushintsha kwakuzwakala njengokwehluleka.
Bhala phansi isizathu. Hlola isizathu, hhayi iminyaka. Tshela abambalwa, bese uqhubeka nomsebenzi. Bese ukhomba komusha ngendlela efanele, ngentshisekelo efanayo nowawuza nayo kowokugcina, ngoba intshisekelo yayingalokothi ibe yinkinga.