Wacelwa ukuba enze inkulumo emcimbini wokuthatha umhlalaphansi womuntu ayemhlonipha, wakuthatha ngokungathi sina. Izinhlaka ezine, zonke zimayelana naye. Into ayenza ngo-2009 okungekho omunye owayeyokwenza. Indlela ayeliphatha ngayo igumbi engaphakamisi izwi. Ucingo alwenzela umhlaziyi omusha ongazange akwazi.
Eshayela ebuyela ekhaya, wabona ukuthi wayengeke akwazi ukubhala leyo ndima ngaye uqobo. Hhayi ngenxa yokuthobeka. Uyawenza kahle kakhulu umsebenzi wakhe futhi uyakwazi lokho. Wayengazi nje ukuthi ngabe yimaphi amagama ayishumi nanhlanu umuntu ayengawasebenzisa.
Leso yisimo esivamile emuntwini onekhono, futhi singalungiswa ngesigamu sehora. Umusho abantu abagcina bewusebenzisa ngawe usuvele uyabhalwa, isonto elilodwa elivamile ngesikhathi. Ungawuvumela unqwabelane wodwa, noma ungazibhalela wena uhlaka bese uyahamba uyokwenza kube yiqiniso.
Uyini lo musho, futhi kungani amagama ayishumi nanhlanu?
Ngumugqa umuntu okwaziyo angawusebenzisa ukukuchaza uma ungekho egumbini, futhi amagama ayishumi nanhlanu angumkhawulo okuphoqa isinqumo sangempela. Noma yini ende kunalokho ikuvumela ugcine izinto ezintathu ozibalulekile ongenazo ngempela, okuyiyona kanye indlela izitatimende zomsebenzi womuntu eziphenduka ngayo izindima ezingakhunjulwa muntu, kuhlanganise nowazibhala.
Uhlobo olufushane lwenza into olude olungeke lwayenza. Kumele ukwazi ukushiwo. Uma ungakwazi ukuwusho ngokuphefumula okukodwa, awusoze waphindwa, futhi umusho ongaphindwa akuwona umusho abantu abawusebenzisa ngawe. Kuwumbhalo nje.
Kuyasiza ukubona ubukhulu bomgomo. "Waqasha abantu okungekho omunye owayezobaqasha futhi uhhafu wabo usuphethe izinto manje" ngamagama ayishumi nesishiyagalolunye futhi kudinga ukunqunywa. "Wayekutshela inombolo kusenesikhathi, njalo" ngayisithupha futhi kungathwala okunye. Kwesinye isikhathi kulowo mkhawulo kunenguqulo ecacile ngokwanele ukuba ibe ngawe futhi imfushane ngokwanele ukuba ishiwo etafuleni. Nguwo wonke lowo umgomo, futhi mncane kunalokho lo msebenzi ozwakala uyikho ngaphambi kokuthi uqale.
Kukhona nobufakazi obuhle bokuthi ukubhala ngezimiso zakho eziyisisekelo akuwona umsebenzi wokuhlobisa. Ubuyekezo luka-Cohen no-Sherman ngomsebenzi wokuziqinisekisa ku-Annual Review of Psychology lwathola ukuthi ukubhala okufushane ngezimiso zomuntu kungathuthukisa imiphumela emfundweni, empilweni nasebudlelwaneni, kwesinye isikhathi ezinyangeni noma eminyakeni kamuva, ikakhulukazi ngoba kushintsha indlela umuntu afunda ngayo ingcindezi ephambi kwakhe. Amagama ayishumi nanhlanu yilowo msebenzi unamathiselwe umsebenzi.
Ngiwubhala kanjani owami ungazwakali ngathi owenkampani?
Bhala ngabantu nangokuziphatha, ungalokothi ubhale ngezigaba. Susa wonke amagama abiza isikhundla somsebenzi, imboni, noma isichasiso ongasithola ohlelweni lokuhlola ukusebenza, bese lokho okusalayo kuvame ukusondelana nomusho oyiqiniso.
Izikhathi ezintathu zibafikisa abantu abaningi lapho.
Isikhathi sokuqala, wubhale kabi. Faka phansi noma yini. "Umholi onombono oshintsha izinto ngokuphelele" kuwuhlaka olubi oluhle ngoba lukubonisa lokho okumunce esikhundleni salokho okukhethile.
Isikhathi sesibili, faka umuntu kuwo. Umusho ongenamuntu omunye kuwo uvame ukuba ngumugqa we-resume. "Wenza imisebenzi emithathu yakwazi ukuqhubeka futhi akazange ayithathe ngisho nakanye idumela" ngumusho. "Wayetshela abantu iqiniso kusenesikhathi sokuba benze okuthile ngalo" ngumusho. Womabili abiza ukuziphatha umuntu owamukelayo angakubona.
Isikhathi sesithathu, nquma kufinyelele kwayishumi nanhlanu. Igama ngalinye olisusayo likhuphula intengo yalawo asalayo. Susa izichasiso kuqala, bese kuba yizihlanganisi, bese kuba ngumsebenzi.
Yenza ukuhlola kokugcina. Ingabe ozakwenu angakusho lokhu ngawe ebuso obungashintshi namuhla, noma kuphela kwinguqulo yakho ezoba khona emva konyaka ozayo? Zombili izimpendulo ziyasiza. Eyokuqala isho ukuthi unencazelo. Eyesibili isho ukuthi unomgomo, okungcono.
Ngihlola kanjani ukuthi uyiqiniso ngempela?
Hlola inyanga edlule, hhayi unyaka ozayo. Vula ikhalenda lakho nemilayezo oyithumele kula masonto amane adlule bese umaka wonke amabhulokhi umuntu ongakwazi obambe umusho wakho ayezowabikezela, bese ubala ukuthi lawo mabhulokhi enza amaphesenti amangaki amahora akho okusebenza.
Unyaka ozayo yilapho abantu becasha khona. Uhlelo lwawo wonke umuntu lonyaka ozayo luhambisana nomusho wakhe ngokuphelele, ngoba unyaka ozayo awunaso isiminyaminya. Inyanga edlule inobufakazi. Iqukethe umhlangano owawuvumele ngenxa yomkhuba, into oyenze kahle okungekho owayeyicelile, namahora amabili owanika umuntu ngaphandle kokuwabhala ndawo.
Ngenkathi ulapho, yenza ikholomu yesibili: ngangiwusizo kubani. Bala abantu, hhayi amaphrojekthi. Abantu abaningi bathola ukuthi le kholomu igcwele kunalokho ababekulindele futhi ayibhalwanga nhlobo, okufanele ukwazi ngoba amagama ayishumi nanhlanu asinda ishumi leminyaka cishe njalo amayelana naleyo kholomu hhayi ngokukhiqizwayo.
Ungazinikezi amaphuzu kweshumi kunoma yikuphi kwalokhu. Ukubala kungukulinganisa, futhi into eyodwa oyidingayo kukho yinombolo ongayiqhathanisa nenyanga elandelayo. Amaphesenti angamashumi amabili amahora akho akhomba emushweni wakho ayisiqalo esisebenzayo emuntwini onomsebenzi wangempela nekhalenda eligcwele. Amaphesenti angu-zero akuyona inkinga yesimilo. Kungumphumela wokuhlela isikhathi, futhi ukuhlela isikhathi kuyinto osuvele uyazi ukuyilungisa.
Kuthiwani uma inyanga edlule ingahambisani nomusho?
Khona-ke usuyitholile ingxenye ebalulekile, futhi isixazululo kungushintsho olulodwa ekhalenda kuleli sonto hhayi impilo entsha. Igebe lamahora ambalwa liyinkinga yokuhlela isikhathi. Igebe lakho konke liyinkinga yomusho, futhi lisho ukuthi ubhale umusho owuhloniphayo esikhundleni salowo obungawuvikela.
Umsebenzi ka-Sheldon no-Elliot ngokuhambisana nomuntu wangaphakathi yisona sizathu sokuthi lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu kunalokho okubonakala kukho. Imigomo ehambisana nalokho umuntu akubaluleka ngempela ithola umzamo omkhulu futhi ingaba namathuba amakhulu okufinyelelwa, futhi ukuyifinyelela kwenza okuningi kumuntu kunokufinyelela uhlobo olubolekiwe. Ngakho lokhu kuhlola akuwona umsebenzi wokuzikhuza. Kungukubheka ukuthi ngabe uchitha amandla akho amakhulu entweni obungayikhetha ukube ubukhetha ngamabomu.
Uma igebe lincane, susa ibhulokhi eyodwa ephindaphindayo kuleli sonto bese ushiya konke okunye kunjalo. Uma igebe liwukho konke, bhala kabusha umusho hhayi ikhalenda, ngoba umusho ongakwazi ukuphila ngaphakathi kuwo uyindlela nje enhlana yokuzizwa usemuva.
Amagama ayishumi nanhlanu angumthetho wokunquma, hhayi inkondlo
Inzuzo ivela ngesikhathi esilandelayo umuntu ekucela okuthile. Uhlelo lweminyaka emihlanu alukwazi ukukusiza ngehora lesine ntambama, kodwa umusho wamagama ayishumi nanhlanu uyakwazi, ngoba ungaqhathanisa isicelo nawo cishe emasekhondini amabili. Ingabe ukuvuma lokhu kwenza umusho ube yiqiniso elikhulu noma elincane. Lokho kusheshe kunanoma iyiphi indlela yokusebenza futhi kuyaphatheka kuzo zonke izinqumo ozenzayo kule kota.
Futhi kusinda ushintsho lomsebenzi, into uhlelo olwakhelwe isikhundla olungakaze lwayenza. Ukuhlelwa kabusha, izimboni nabaqashi bayanyakaza, kanti umusho ophathelene nendlela ophatha ngayo abantu nalokho okugcizelelayo unyakaza nawe uphelele. Yileso isizathu esisebenzayo sokuthi kungani amagama ayishumi nanhlanu ashiya ngaphandle umsebenzi. Izikhundla ziqashiwe. Ukuziphatha kungokwakho, futhi ukuziphatha yikho noma ubani angakusho ngawe emcimbini eminyakeni engamashumi amabili ezayo.
Amagama ayishumi nanhlanu alahleka kalula kakhulu kuhlelo lwamanothi, ngakho wabeke endaweni ebonakalayo. Bese uqhubeka. Lo musho awusiso isicelo sokwehlisa ijubane noma sokufuna okuncane. Uyisihlungi esikuvumela ukuthi uvume ngamandla amakhulu ezintweni ezibalulekile, eminye iminyaka engamashumi amabili, ngaphandle kwenkinga yaminyaka yonke yokuthi ngabe kukhona yini kulokhu okwakuqonde ndawo.
Imithombo
- Annual Review of Psychology, The psychology of change: self-affirmation and social psychological intervention
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: the self-concordance model