Ka mehameha i waena o ka lehulehu: ka naʻau hoʻokaʻawale ʻoiai a puni ka poʻe

Hōʻea pinepine ia i kahi manawa ʻē. ʻAʻole i ka wā ʻoe ma ka home wale i kahi Pōʻalua, akā i waena o kahi pāʻina, a i ʻole i kahi ʻaina ʻohana kahi e ʻakaʻaka ai nā mea a pau, a i ʻole i kahi hālāwai piha i ka poʻe āu i ʻike ai no nā makahiki. Mahana, walaʻau, a piha ka lumi. A ma kahi ma lalo o kou minoʻaka ʻoluʻolu ponoʻī, kahi manaʻo liʻiliʻi palahalaha: ʻaʻole ʻike maoli kekahi o kēia poʻe iaʻu.

Inā ua naʻau ʻoe i kēlā, ʻaʻole ʻoe i uhaʻi a ʻaʻole ʻoe he kanaka mahalo ʻole. Ua kū wale ʻoe i kekahi o nā ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻē aʻe o ke kanaka. ʻO ka noho ʻana a puni ka poʻe a me ka naʻau pili iā lākou, ʻelua mea ʻokoʻa, a ʻaʻole lākou e hele pū i nā manawa a pau.

No ke aha e naʻau hakahaka ai kahi lumi piha

Aia ʻelua huaʻōlelo e kani like akā ʻaʻole like. ʻO ka hoʻokaʻawale pilikanaka, pili ia i ka helu, ehia kānaka i loko o kou ola, ehia manawa āu e ʻike ai iā lākou. ʻO ka mehameha, pili ia i ka naʻau, inā e pae maoli nā pilina āu. Hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa kakaʻikahi kānaka a naʻau paʻa hohonu ʻia e lākou. Hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa kahi papa manawa piha a naʻau me he mea lā ke nānā nei ʻoe i kou ola ponoʻī ma o kahi aniani.

Kahaki nā kauka i kēia laina me ka manaʻo. E like me kā Cleveland Clinic e ʻōlelo ai, pili ka mehameha i ke ʻano o kou ʻike ʻana i kou pae pilina, ʻo ia ke kumu e hiki ai i kekahi ke naʻau mehameha ʻoiai a puni ʻia e ka poʻe. ʻAʻole loa ʻo ka helu o nā kino i loko o ka lumi ke ana. ʻO ke ana, inā e naʻau ʻike ʻia ʻoe e kekahi o lākou.

ʻO ia ke kumu e hiki ai iā ia ke pā ikaika loa i ka hui. Ke mehameha maoli ʻoe, he kūpono ka naʻau a hiki iā ʻoe ke wehewehe iā ʻoe iho. Ke mehameha ʻoe i waena o ka lehulehu, aia kahi houhou ʻelua ma luna o ka mua: me he mea lā maikaʻi nā mea ʻē aʻe a pau, me he mea lā loaʻa ka pilina, a ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke naʻau iā ia. No laila hoʻomaka ʻoe e noʻonoʻo he aha kou hewa.

ʻAʻohe ou hewa. ʻO ka mea e nele pinepine ai, ʻaʻole he poʻe. He ʻano kikoʻī o ka pili.

Ka ʻokoʻa ma waena o ka noho kokoke i kekahi a me ka hālāwai ʻia

E noʻonoʻo i nā kamaʻilio e waiho maoli ai iā ʻoe me ka naʻau ʻuʻuku o ka mehameha. He mea like ko lākou: ma kahi o loko, ua maoli ʻoe, a noho ke kanaka ʻē aʻe. Ua ʻōlelo ʻoe i ka mea ʻoiaʻiʻo iki ma kahi o ka mea maʻalahi, a ʻaʻole lākou i haʻalulu a hoʻololi i ke kumuhana. Ua maopopo iā lākou. Naʻau ʻoe, no hoʻokahi minuke, ʻo ke kanaka ou ma ka home i kahi ʻauinalā mālie, ua kipa ʻia i loko o ka lumi.

ʻAʻole hana ka hapa nui o ka launa o kēlā me kēia lā i kēlā, a ʻaʻole pono ʻo ia. ʻO ka kamaʻilio me ka mea kūʻai kofe, ka hālāwai kū o ka hana, ka pae hui e pili ana i nā hoʻolālā o ka hopena pule, ʻo kēia ka ʻiʻo pili o ke ola, a koʻikoʻi ia. Akā holo ʻo ia ma ka ʻili. Ke holo *nā mea a pau* o kou launa ma ka ʻili, ke ʻaʻohe ou kanaka āu e ʻae ai e ʻike i ka mea ma lalo, hoʻomaka ka ʻili e naʻau me he kiʻiʻoniʻoni āu i hoʻopaʻa ʻia ma hope.

ʻO ka mehameha i waena o ka lehulehu pinepine ʻo ia kēlā hakahaka pololei. Nui ka launa. Kakaʻikahi loa e hōʻea iā ʻoe.

Kōkua ka ʻike he mea maʻamau kēia, ʻaʻole he mea kakaʻikahi. Ua hoʻopuka ke Kauka Nui o ʻAmelika Hui Pū ʻIa i kahi ʻōlelo aʻo aupuni i ka makahiki 2023 e kapa ana i ka mehameha a me ka hoʻokaʻawale he pilikia olakino aupuni, a he mea pīhoihoi ka helu ma lalo: ma kahi o ka hapalua o nā kānaka makua o ka ʻāina e hōʻike i ka naʻau mehameha. ʻO ka hapalua. ʻO ka lumi piha kahi e naʻau ʻole hiki ke hōʻea ʻia ai ʻoe, ua piha mālie ia i nā kānaka ʻē aʻe e naʻau ana i ka mea like a manaʻo ʻo lākou wale nō.

No ke aha e kūpono ai ke mālama me ke koʻikoʻi

E maʻalahi ke kau i kēia ma lalo o "he ʻano manaʻo" a paʻa ma mua. He mea ʻoi aku ma mua o kahi ʻano manaʻo. Mālama ke kino i kahi puke helu.

Ke lilo ka mehameha i mau, noho ʻā kou ʻōnaehana kaumaha. Hōʻike ka Cleveland Clinic e hoʻopiʻi ka mehameha mau i kou mau pae cortisol, kahi hormone kaumaha, a i ka manawa luhi kēlā i kou puʻuwai, kou ʻōnaehana pale maʻi, a me kou hiamoe. Hele ʻoi aku ka noiʻi olakino aupuni: hoʻopili ʻia ka mehameha a me ka hoʻokaʻawale mau me ka pilikia kiʻekiʻe o ka maʻi puʻuwai a me ke kahe koko lolo, a me kahi pilikia o ka make mua a kekahi mau noiʻi i hoʻohālikelike ai me ka pōʻino o ka puhi paka.

ʻAʻole kekahi o ia mau mea e hoʻoweliweli iā ʻoe. ʻO kāna e hāʻawi i ka ʻae iā ʻoe. Inā ua mālama ʻoe i kēia naʻau he pilikia waiwai, kahi mea e hilahila ai, ʻaʻole ʻo ia. He hōʻailona maoli ia mai kahi kino i hana ʻia e nele i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. Haʻi ka pōloli iā ʻoe e ʻai. Ke hoʻāʻo nei ka mehameha e haʻi iā ʻoe i kekahi mea like ke kumu.

Ka mea e kōkua pinepine ana

ʻO ka manaʻo, ke naʻau ʻoe pēlā i waena o ka lehulehu, ʻo ka hoʻohui i ka lehulehu hou aku. He mau hanana hou, he mau hoʻolālā hou, he poʻe hou. I kekahi manawa kōkua iki kēlā. Ka hapa nui ʻaʻole ia e pā i ka mea maoli, no ka mea ʻaʻole ʻo ka nui ka mea maoli. Eia ka wahi e loaʻa maoli ai ka huki.

E hele i kahi ʻīniha hohonu me hoʻokahi kanaka, ʻaʻole he mile laula me nā mea a pau

ʻAʻole pono ʻoe i ola pilikanaka nui aʻe. Pono ʻoe i hoʻokahi kamaʻilio e hala i ke aniau. E koho i hoʻokahi kanaka e naʻau iki palekana a e ʻōlelo i hoʻokahi mea ʻoiaʻiʻo, "he ʻoiaʻiʻo, ua ʻano mehameha au i kēia mau lā," a i ʻole "ua ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī o kēia makahiki ma mua o kaʻu i hōʻike ai." ʻO ia wale nō. ʻAʻole ʻoe e hoʻāʻo no ka hoa maikaʻi loa. Ke hoʻāʻo nei ʻoe inā hiki ke ola ka ʻoiaʻiʻo me kēia kanaka. Hiki pinepine, a hanu pinepine lākou a haʻi iā ʻoe ua naʻau pū lākou.

E kūʻai i ka hana hōʻike no ka naʻau ʻike iki ʻia

Hele ka nui o ka mehameha lehulehu mai ka hōʻike ʻana ma ke ʻano he mana hoʻoponopono, ka mea ʻaʻohe pono a he pane maikaʻi no nā mea a pau. He palekana kēlā mana a he mehameha nō hoʻi, no ka mea ʻaʻole hiki i kekahi ke pili i kahi hōʻike. ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e hoʻokuʻu i kou ʻano o loko holoʻokoʻa i kahi Pōʻalua. E ʻae wale i hoʻokahi kikoʻī ʻoiaʻiʻo e hala. Pili ka poʻe i ke kanaka, ʻaʻole i ka pukana hoihoi.

E ʻimi i ka hana like, ʻaʻole i ke kamaʻilio like wale

Ulu pinepine ka pilina ma ka ʻaoʻao, ma o kahi hana like, ma kahi o ke alo. Kahi hele wāwae kū me kahi hoanoho, kahi hana manawaleʻa, kahi papa, kahi hui. Hilinaʻi ke alakaʻi a Mayo Clinic e pili ana i ka hoʻomāmā ʻana i ka mehameha i kēia ʻano no ke kumu: hāʻawi ka launa maʻamau a haʻahaʻa ke kaomi i kūkulu ʻia a puni kahi hana i kahi pilina i wahi e ulu ai me ka kukui ʻole o "e launa kākou a wehe i ko kākou ʻuhane."

E ʻike i ka loop a kou noʻonoʻo e holo ai

He ʻano noʻonoʻo ko ka mehameha, a he maʻalea ia. Haʻi ia iā ʻoe he kaumaha ʻoe, ʻaʻohe mea makemake e lohe, he hilahila ka lalau ʻana. No laila huki ʻoe i hope, ka mea e ʻoi ai kou mehameha, ka mea e leo nui ai nā manaʻo. Inā e hopu ʻoe iā ʻoe iho ma laila, e mālama i kēlā mau manaʻo he hōʻailona, ʻaʻole he ʻoiaʻiʻo. ʻO ka leo e ʻōlelo ana "mai hoʻopilikia iā lākou" ʻo ia ka mehameha e ʻōlelo nei, ʻaʻole ia he mea haʻi moʻolelo hilinaʻi.

E mālama i nā pilina i loaʻa iā ʻoe

ʻO ka poʻe e hiki ke hōʻea iā ʻoe, aia paha lākou i kou ola, ma ka ʻili wale me nā mea a pau. ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e ʻimi mau i nā poʻe hou. I kekahi manawa lawe ʻoe i kahi pilina i loaʻa a hoʻohohonu iā ia, ka hoahānau āu e ʻike wale ai i nā lā nui, ka hoa hana āu e kamaʻilio wale ai e pili ana i ka hana, ka hoa kahiko āu e manaʻo mau ai e kelepona. Hiki i hoʻokahi kamaʻilio ʻoiaʻiʻo ke hana i ʻoi aku ma mua o hoʻokahi mahina o nā hoʻolauna hou.

I ka wā e lalau ai i ʻoi aku ma mua o kahi hoa

ʻAlo kekahi mehameha ke hana ʻoe i kahi wahi hou aku no kou ʻano maoli a ʻae i hoʻokahi a ʻelua kānaka e kokoke. ʻAʻole ʻalo kekahi, a he mea koʻikoʻi ke mālama me ke koʻikoʻi ma kahi o ka paʻa ʻana.

Inā ua noho ka hoʻokaʻawale me ʻoe no nā mahina, inā e hele mai ia i wili ʻia i kahi kaumaha e paʻakikī ai ke leʻaleʻa i nā mea āu i makemake ai ma mua, inā e hiamoe a ʻai ʻokoʻa loa ʻoe, inā ua hoʻomaka ʻoe e naʻau ʻaʻole ʻoe e koʻikoʻi a i ʻole e ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka poʻe me ʻoe ʻole, e ʻoluʻolu e mālama i kēlā he kumu e kamaʻilio ai me kahi loea, ʻaʻole he hewa ʻano e hūnā. Hiki i kahi kauka a i ʻole mea lapaʻau noʻonoʻo ke ʻike i ka ʻokoʻa ma waena o ka mehameha maʻamau a me kahi kaumaha e pono i ka mālama, a hiki iā lākou ke kōkua me nā mea ʻelua. ʻAʻole ʻo ka lalau no ia ka haʻalele ʻana i ka pilina. ʻO ia kekahi o kona mau ʻano ʻoiaʻiʻo loa.

ʻO ka lumi āu i loko i kēia pō, e piha paha ia i nā kānaka e naʻau ana i ka mea like āu a maopopo iā lākou ʻo lākou wale nō. ʻO ia ke aloha ʻē i kanu ʻia i ka maʻamau o kēia. ʻO ka pā āu e kū mau ai, ʻo ia kahi pā a nā poʻe he nui e kū ana ma hope. Hāʻule ia i lalo i ke ʻano like no nā mea a pau, hoʻokahi ʻōlelo ʻoiaʻiʻo i ka manawa.

Nā Kumu

• Cleveland Clinic, How Loneliness Can Impact Your Health
• U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community
• CDC / NIOSH Science Bulletin, Social Connection and Worker Well-being
• Mayo Clinic News Network, Mayo Clinic Q and A: Does loneliness affect your health?