Inā aia ʻoe i loko o ka pilikia a i ʻole ke noʻonoʻo nei e hōʻeha iā ʻoe iho, ʻaʻole ʻoe hoʻokahi. Ma ʻAmelika Hui Pū ʻIa, e kelepona a kelepaʻi paha i 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24/7), e kelepaʻi iā HOME i 741741 (Crisis Text Line), a i ʻole e kelepona i 911 i ka wā pilikia. Ma nā wahi a pau o ka honua, hōʻike ʻo findahelpline.com i nā laina kōkua manuahi a mālama huna ma kou ʻāina ponoʻī a ma kou ʻōlelo ponoʻī. Inā aia ʻoe i loko o ka pōʻino koke, e kelepona i ka helu kelepona pilikia o kou wahi.
Aia kahi ʻano kakahiaka kūikawā e hiki mai ana ma hope o ka haʻihaʻi pilina. Ala ʻoe, a no ʻekolu kekona ma kahi he maʻamau nā mea a pau. A laila pā hou ia. Ua hala ke kanaka, ua hala nā hoʻolālā, ua hala ka wā e hiki mai ana āu i hapa-kūkulu ai i kou poʻo, a pono ʻoe e ala a lilo i kanaka.
Inā ʻo ia kahi āu i kēia manawa, hauʻoli mākou aia ʻoe ma ʻaneʻi. ʻO nā pule mua ʻelua ka ʻāpana walaʻau loa pinepine. ʻAʻole no kou nāwaliwali a hana hewa, akā no ka mea e hana maoli ana i loko ou. E pili ana kēia ʻāpana i ke kaʻalele ʻana i kēlā mau lā. ʻAʻole ka lanakila ʻana, ʻaʻole ka hala ʻana, ʻo ke kaʻalele wale nō. Ua lawa kēlā no kēia manawa.
No ke aha e ʻeha nui ai
Kōkua ke ʻike ʻana ʻaʻole ka ʻeha he hōʻailona ua haki ʻoe a hana nui paha. He nalo maoli ka haʻihaʻi pilina, a mālama kou lolo iā ia me he nalo lā.
I ka manawa i hoʻokomo ai nā mea noiʻi ma Rutgers, i alakaʻi ʻia e ka mea kālaikanaka ʻo Helen Fisher, i nā kānaka i hōʻole hou ʻia i loko o kahi mīkini nānā lolo a hōʻike iā lākou i nā kiʻi o ke kanaka i haʻalele, ʻā nā kiʻi i nā wahi i pili i ka uku, ka hoʻoikaika, a me ke kuko. ʻO nā wahi like e ʻā ai i ka lilo. ʻAʻole ia he hoʻohālikelike. Hiki i ka nalo ʻana o kekahi āu i pili ai ke hoʻokomo i kou lolo i kahi mea ʻano like me ka pau ʻana, ʻo ia ke kumu e ʻano nāukiuki ai paha ʻoe, hoʻomanaʻo paʻa, hiki ʻole ke ʻai a hiamoe, e nānā ana i ko lākou ʻaoʻao i ka hola 2 o ke kakahiaka kūʻē i kou ʻike pono ponoʻī. ʻAʻole ʻoe he mea minamina. Aia ʻoe i kahi nele e hiki ai i kou kino ke ʻike.
Aia kahi ʻike lokomaikaʻi aʻe i hūnā ʻia i loko o ia noiʻi like. ʻO ka nui o nā lā i hala mai ka hōʻole, ʻo ka mālie aʻe o ke kaʻa pili. Hoʻohaʻahaʻa maoli ka manawa i ka leo. ʻAʻole ia e ʻano pēlā i ka lā ʻekolu. Akā ke hana nei, mālie, ma lalo, inā e ʻike a ʻaʻole paha ʻoe.
Aia ia i kou kino kekahi, ʻaʻole i kou poʻo wale nō
Kāhāhā ka nui o nā kānaka i ke ʻano kino o ka haʻihaʻi pilina. Nalo kou makemake ʻai, a i ʻole ʻaʻohe ʻono o ka ʻai. Haki kou hiamoe, e moe ala ana ʻoe e holo ana i ke kamaʻilio like, a i ʻole hiamoe ʻoe i ʻumi hola a ala me ka māluhiluhi. ʻEha kou umauma. Aia kou ʻōpū i ka nuku. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke kālele i kahi paukū leka uila. ʻAʻole kēlā ʻo ʻoe e nāwaliwali ana. ʻO ia ke kaumaha kaumaha-a-pau like a nā nānā lolo e hopu ai, e ʻōʻili ana i ke kino e pono e lawe a puni i ka lā holoʻokoʻa.
He mea pono e kapa no ka mea, i ka manawa, hiki i kēia mau hōʻailona ke ʻano me he hōʻike lā he hewa nui kekahi mea me ʻoe. ʻAʻole pēlā. He pane maʻamau lākou i kahi nalo maoli, a maluhia lākou i ka hala ʻana o nā pule. I waena, e mālama mālie i kou kino, e like me kāu e hana ai inā loaʻa iā ʻoe ka maʻi anu. E hoʻohaʻahaʻa i ka pae. E ʻai i ka ʻai maʻalahi inā ʻo ia wale nō kāu e hiki ke mālama. E inu wai. E hiamoe iki. E kala iā ʻoe iho no ka hana ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke kālele. Ke ola hou nei ʻoe mai kekahi mea, ʻoiai ʻaʻohe hapakē e hōʻike ai.
He aha kāu e pono maoli ai e hana i kēia pule (a he aha ka mea ʻole)
E mālama liʻiliʻi i kēia, no ka mea ʻano kaumaha nā mea a pau i kēia manawa.
ʻAʻole pono iā ʻoe e ʻimi i ke ʻano o ka mea a pau. ʻAʻole pono iā ʻoe e hoʻoholo inā e lilo ʻolua i hoaaloha, inā ua hana hewa ʻoe, inā e aloha hou ʻoe i kekahi. He mau nīnau maoli ia a ʻaʻole ia nā nīnau o kēia pule. ʻO ka hana o kēia pule, ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi: e mālama hānai iā ʻoe iho, e mālama hoʻomaha iā ʻoe iho, a e mālama i kekahi mamao mai ka ʻeha i hiki iā ia ke hoʻomaka e pani.
Eia ka mea e kōkua maoli ai i nā lā mua.
1. E waiho i kekahi mamao ma waena ou a me kāu i aloha mua ai
ʻO kēia ka mea paʻakikī, a ʻo ia ka mea koʻikoʻi loa. Haʻi pololei ka kauka noʻonoʻo o ka Cleveland Clinic ʻo Adam Borland: i ka wā mua ma hope, e nānā i kou komo i kāu hoa o mua. E hoʻomūmū iā lākou, e hoʻopau i ka hahai, e holoi paha i ka helu no kēia manawa. ʻAʻole no ka huhū a i ʻole ka liʻiliʻi. No ka mea ʻo kēlā me kēia nānā i kā lākou ʻaoʻao he hahau liʻiliʻi e hoʻihoʻi i ka uaki pau a e mālama i ka ʻeha hou.
Inā ʻoe e ʻike mau i ka huki e kīkoʻo aku, e ʻimi i hoʻokahi kanaka āu e kākau leka ai. Manaʻo ʻo Borland e loaʻa kahi ʻano kākoʻo, kekahi āu e kākau leka ai e ʻōlelo, "Makemake nui au e kelepona iā lākou i kēia manawa," i loaʻa i ka makemake kahi e hele ai ʻaʻole ʻo kā lākou helu. E hiki mai ana ke kuko ma nā nalu. Hala wikiwiki aʻe ia ma mua o kou manaʻo ke hānai ʻole ʻoe iā ia.
2. E kūkulu i kahi iwi o kahi hana mau
Ke nalo ka hoʻonohonoho i hāʻawi ʻia e kahi pilina i kou mau lā, hiki i nā hola ke hele me ke ʻano ʻole, a he ʻano weliweli kona ponoʻī. ʻAʻole pono iā ʻoe kahi papa manawa kūpono. Pono iā ʻoe i kekahi mau kiko paʻa. He manawa āu e ala ai. He ʻai āu e ʻai maoli ai. He hele wāwae pōkole. Ka moe ʻana ma kahi hola ʻano maʻamau ʻoiai ʻaʻole maʻalahi ka hiamoe.
ʻAʻole ka pahuhopu ka hana. ʻO ka hāʻawi ʻana o nā hana liʻiliʻi, hana hou ʻia, i kahi paʻa lima iā ʻoe ke ʻano me he paheʻe lā nā mea ʻē aʻe a pau. ʻO kēlā me kēia āu e hoʻopau ai he hōʻike mālie liʻiliʻi hiki nō iā ʻoe ke holo i kou ola ponoʻī.
3. E hoʻoneʻe i kou kino, ʻoiai he liʻiliʻi
Kani kēia me he mea hope loa āu e makemake ai e lohe a ʻo ia kekahi o nā mea hilinaʻi loa e holo ai. Hōʻike ka NHS hiki i ka neʻe maʻamau ke hāpai i kou ʻano, a ʻaʻole pono iā ʻoe kahi keʻena hoʻoikaika kino a i ʻole kahi hoʻolālā. Hiki i kahi hele wāwae wikiwiki he ʻumi minuke ke hoʻomaʻemaʻe i kou poʻo a e hoʻomaha i ka paʻa i hoʻokahi. Hāʻawi ka neʻe i kou lolo i kahi kumu ʻokoʻa, olakino aʻe o ke kemika e nalo nei iā ia. ʻAʻole e hoʻoponopono kahi hele wāwae a puni ke poloka i kou puʻuwai. Hiki paha iā ia ke lawe iā ʻoe i ka hola aʻe, a i kēia manawa he helu ka hola aʻe.
4. E ʻae i nā kānaka e komo
ʻO ka manaʻo ma hope o ka haʻihaʻi pilina pinepine ʻo ka nalo ʻana, ka lilo ʻole i mea kaumaha, ke kali ʻana a "ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi" ʻoe e ʻike i kekahi. E hoʻāʻo e pale i kēlā. E haʻi i ʻelua a ʻekolu kānaka āu e hilinaʻi ai i ka mea i hana a aia ʻoe i kahi wā paʻakikī. ʻAʻole pono iā ʻoe e hana e maikaʻi ana. E ʻae iā lākou e lawe mai i kahi kope iā ʻoe, e noho me ʻoe ma ke kelepona, e lawe iā ʻoe i waho i ʻole mūmū loa ka hale. Hana ka mehameha i ka mea holoʻokoʻa i walaʻau aʻe. Hoʻohaʻahaʻa ka hoa iā ia.
E ʻike iā ia, ma nā wahi liʻiliʻi
Aia kahi moʻolelo wahaheʻe e pono ʻoe e uwē a pau i ka manawa hoʻokahi a i ʻole e kūpaʻa ikaika a ʻaʻole loa e haki. ʻAʻole kekahi o lāua ka pahuhopu. Hele pinepine ke kanikau ma nā nalu, a ʻaʻole pono iā ʻoe e holo i kēlā me kēia a hiki i kona pau.
E hāʻawi iā ʻoe iho i ka ʻae maoli e kaumaha. ʻAʻole ka uwē ʻana he hoʻihoʻi i hope. ʻO ia kou ʻōnaehana e mālama ana i ka nalo, a ʻo ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana iā ia e mālama pinepine iā ʻoe i ka paʻa no ka manawa lōʻihi, ʻaʻole pōkole. I ka manawa like, ua ʻae ʻia ʻoe e ʻakaʻaka i kahi mea hoʻomakeʻaka, e leʻaleʻa i kahi ʻai maikaʻi, e loaʻa i hoʻokahi hola āu e poina ai. ʻAʻole ia he kumakaia o ka nui o kona ʻeha. ʻO ia ka hoʻōla e hana ana i kāna hana mālie.
Inā lilo nui loa nā manaʻo i kahi manawa, maikaʻi ke waiho iā lākou no kekahi manawa. E kau i kahi hōʻike. E kelepona i kahi hoaaloha. E hele i kēlā hele wāwae. Hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻi i ke kaumaha ma hope. E kali ia. ʻAʻole pono iā ʻoe e ʻike i nā mea a pau i kēia lā.
Hoʻokahi mea hou e pili ana i nā manaʻo: mai hilinaʻi i nā hopena a lākou e hāʻawi mai nei i kēia manawa. He mea haʻiʻōlelo walaʻau ke kanikau. I waena o ka paʻa, hiki i kou noʻonoʻo ke koi e noho mehameha mau ʻoe, ua hōʻino ʻoe i nā mea a pau, ʻaʻohe mea e aloha hou iā ʻoe pēlā. ʻAno like kēlā mau manaʻo me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo no ka mea hiki mai me ke kaumaha nui ma hope. ʻAʻole pēlā. ʻO ka ʻeha e ʻōlelo ana, a ʻaʻole ka ʻeha he hōʻike hilinaʻi no kou wā e hiki mai ana. Hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike i ka manaʻo, ʻo ka ʻōlelo paha "ʻo ia ke kanikau, ʻaʻole ka ʻoiaʻiʻo," a e ʻae iā ia e hala me ke pūlima ʻole i kou inoa.
He mau mea pono e hoʻokele a puni
ʻAʻohe mea e loaʻa i nā lā mua me ka maʻemaʻe loa, no laila e heluhelu i kēia he mau pā mālie, ʻaʻole he mau lula e hāʻule ai.
- Ka leka o ka hola 2 o ke kakahiaka. ʻO kahi āu e makemake ai e hoʻouna ke hiamoe ʻole ʻoe, e kākau iā ia i kāu polokalamu notes ma kahi o ka pahu leka. ʻAneʻane ʻaʻohe leka pō i kahi hoa o mua e ʻoi aku ai ka maikaʻi o ke kakahiaka.
- Ka hoʻohana ʻana i kekahi mea e hoʻomāuiʻole. ʻO ke kīkoʻo ʻana i nā mea inu hou, a i ʻole kekahi mea ʻē aʻe, e hoʻomaʻalili i ka ʻeha he mea maopopo a hoʻohohonu pinepine i ka lua. Hōʻailona ʻo Borland i ka hoʻohana ʻana i nā lāʻau he pilikia maoli i kēia wā. E akahele iki me ʻoe iho ma ʻaneʻi.
- Ka holo wikiwiki i kekahi kanaka hou. Hiki i kahi pani hou ke ʻano me he hoʻomaha lā no hoʻokahi pō. ʻAneʻane ʻole ia e hāʻawi i ka nalo i ka manawa e pono maoli ai e noho.
- Ka hoʻokani hou ʻana i nā wahi maikaʻi loa. E hāʻawi kou noʻonoʻo iā ʻoe i nā hoʻomanaʻo maikaʻi loa ma kahi puni. Inā kōkua ia, e mālama i kahi notes pōkole, ʻoiaʻiʻo no ke kumu i pau ai kēia, a e heluhelu iā ia ke hoʻomaka ke puni e wili i kahi moʻolelo kūpono nā mea a pau.
Ka loaʻa hou ʻana i nā lihi ou
Aia kahi kanikau mālie aʻe ma lalo o ka mea maopopo. Ke lilo ʻoe i ʻāpana o kahi paʻa, hana ʻia ka nui o kou ola o kēlā me kēia lā a puni kekahi kanaka ʻē. ʻO wai āu e kākau leka ai ke hiki mai kekahi mea hoʻomakeʻaka. He aha kāu e nānā ai i ka Lāpule. ʻO nā hana liʻiliʻi, nā hoʻomakeʻaka i loko, ka ʻaoʻao o ka moe. Ke hala lākou, hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻano ʻōhu kupanaha, me he mea lā ʻaʻole maopopo iā ʻoe ka mea ʻo ʻoe hoʻokahi.
ʻAʻole kēia wā mua ka manawa e hoʻololi i kou ola a i ʻole e "ʻike iā ʻoe iho" ma kahi ʻano nui. ʻOi aku ka liʻiliʻi ma mua o kēlā. ʻO ke kīkoʻo hou ʻana aku i nā ʻāpana ou a ka pilina paha i hoʻokaʻawale. He hoaaloha āu i ʻike liʻiliʻi ai. He hana leʻaleʻa āu i ʻae e nalo. He ʻano mele, he wahi, he hana mau āu wale nō. ʻAʻole ʻoe e hana i kēia e hōʻike i kekahi mea i kāu hoa o mua a i ʻole e neʻe i mua wikiwiki aʻe. Ke hana nei ʻoe i kēia no ka mea ʻaʻole maoli i haʻalele kēlā mau aho o ka mea ʻo ʻoe, a ʻo ke kīkoʻo hou ʻana i hoʻokahi o lākou e hoʻomanaʻo iā ʻoe ua ola ʻoe ma mua o kēia kanaka, a e ola mau ana ʻoe ma hope.
E hana mālie. Ua lawa hoʻokahi mea liʻiliʻi no ka pule mua. ʻAʻole ka pahuhopu he ʻoe hou. ʻO ka hoʻomanaʻo ʻana i ka mea i noho mau ma ʻaneʻi.
I ka manawa ʻoi aku kēia ma mua o ʻelua pule paʻakikī
Pono e ʻeha kahi haʻihaʻi pilina, a ʻo ka ʻano pēpē ʻana no kekahi manawa he pane olakino i ka nalo ʻana o kekahi i koʻikoʻi. ʻIke ka hapa nui o nā kānaka e palupalu ka lihi ʻoi loa o ia i nā pule mua, ʻoiai e kau ana ke kaumaha no kekahi manawa lōʻihi aʻe.
Hōʻike kekahi mau hōʻailona he mea pono e lawe mai i ke kākoʻo hou aku, ma mua ma mua o ka lohi. Inā hiki ʻole iā ʻoe ke ʻai a hiamoe no kahi manawa lōʻihi, inā hiki ʻole iā ʻoe ke hana ma ka hana a i ʻole mālama iā ʻoe iho, inā paʻa ke ʻano haʻahaʻa a ʻaʻole e ala, a i ʻole inā ʻʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e hilinaʻi ikaika ana i ka waiʻona a i ʻole nā lāʻau ʻē aʻe e kaʻalele ai, he mau kumu maikaʻi ia e kamaʻilio ai me kahi kauka a i ʻole kahi kauka noʻonoʻo. ʻAʻole ke kīkoʻo ʻana he ʻae ua lanakila ka haʻihaʻi pilina iā ʻoe. ʻO ka loaʻa ʻana i ke ʻano kōkua kūpono no kahi ʻeha maoli.
A inā e hōʻea ʻoe i kahi kūlana e ʻano hiki ʻole ke hoʻomanawanui ka ʻeha, a i ʻole e hoʻomaka ʻoe e loaʻa nā manaʻo o ka makemake ʻole e noho ma ʻaneʻi, e ʻoluʻolu e mālama i kēlā he mea koʻikoʻi a e haʻi i kekahi i kēia lā. He laina pilikia, he kauka, he kanaka āu e hilinaʻi ai. ʻAʻole pono iā ʻoe e hoʻomanawanui paʻakikī i kēlā hoʻokahi, a ʻaʻole pono ʻoe.
No kēia manawa, he liʻiliʻi ka hana a ua lawa. E ʻai i kahi mea. E inu i kekahi wai. E hele i waho no ʻumi minuke. E haʻi i hoʻokahi kanaka aia ʻoe i ka paʻakikī. ʻO ka lolo e ʻeha nui nei i kēia lā, ʻo ia ka lolo like e hoʻomaka mālie nei e hoʻōla. ʻElua pule mai kēia manawa ʻaʻole ʻoe e ʻano like me kou ʻano i kēia kakahiaka. E hāʻawi iā ia i kēlā manawa kūpono.
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