Amathiphu asheshayo
- Zithengele ihora ngaphambi kokuba usabele.
- Yehlisa amahlombe akho, izinyawo phansi.
- Bhala impendulo eshisayo, bese ulinda ubusuku bonke.
Umholi uthola izindaba ezimbi ngo-8:40 ekuseni. Isivumelwano siyashelela, noma izinombolo azilungile, noma othile ophezu kwabo uthukuthele kakhulu. Ngo-8:55 basemhlanganweni omfushane nethimba labo, besho izinto ezivamile ngendlela evamile. Futhi ithimba lingasho ukuthi kukhona okungalungile. Akekho otsheliwe lutho. Kodwa igumbi seliqinile. Abantu baphendula imibuzo ngokucophelela kakhulu kunayizolo. Othile ovame ukukhululeka ngokuzuma usebheka ifoni yakhe ngaphansi kwetafula.
Lokho ukukhathazeka kwenza lokho ukukhathazeka okukwenzayo emaqenjini. Kuyasabalala. Futhi uma umuntu okuthwele ephakeme, kuhamba ngokushesha nakude kakhulu.
Abantu abaningi abahola abanye bakuqonda lokhu ngaphakathi, ngisho noma bengakaze bakubeke ngamagama. Usuwuzwile ukwesaba komphathi kungena kuwo wonke umnyango. Usubukele i-imeyili eyodwa enokwethuka iphendule uLwesibili ojwayelekile ube isivivinyo somlilo. Izindaba ezinhle, futhi ziyizindaba zangempela, ukuthi indlela efanayo ekuvumela ukusabalalisa ukukhathazeka iyakuvumela ukukuvimbela. Ungaba yindawo lapho kuma khona.
Kungani isimo sakho sengqondo sihamba kude kakhulu kunesomunye umuntu
Kukhona ucwaningo oluqinile ngemuva komuzwa wansuku zonke wokuthi imizwa iyathathelana. Isazi saseWharton uSigal Barsade sachitha umsebenzi waso sicwaninga lokho esakubiza ngokuthathelana kwemizwa, indlela izimo zengqondo ezinyakaza ngayo phakathi kwabantu ikakhulu ngaphansi kwezinga lomcabango oqondile. Sithatha izimo zomzwa zomunye nomunye ngendlela esithatha ngayo isasa lokukhuluma noma ukuzamula, ngokuvamile ngaphandle kokuqaphela ukuthi sikwenzile. Kwenzeka mathupha, kuvidiyo, ngisho nange-imeyili nange-chat, lapho kungekho buso obungafundwa nhlobo.
Izinto ezimbili kulowo msebenzi zibaluleke kakhulu uma abantu bebika kuwe.
Eyokuqala ukuthi imizwa yakho ibukwa ngokusondele kakhulu kunekamunye umuntu. Abantu bahlola umuntu ophethe ngezinkomba zokuthi ngabe izinto ziphephile yini. Kungukudlaliswa okudala kwezintambo. Uma umholi ezolile, iqembu lingakhululeka kancane liqhubeke nomsebenzi. Uma umholi ethukukisiwe, iqembu liyaziqinisa. Ngakho isimo sakho sengqondo asijoyini nje isimo sengqondo segumbi. Siyasitsheka.
Eyesibili ukuthi ukukhathazeka kuyanamathela. Uvalo nokuqina kuvame ukunyakaza kudlule eqenjini kalula kunokukhululeka, ngokwengxenye ngoba sakhelwe ukuthatha izinsongo ngokungathi sina nokuzithatha ngokushesha. Ubukhona obuzolile kumele bunikezwe njalo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Obunovalo bungasetha kabusha igumbi lonke ngomzuzu owodwa.
Hlanganisa lezo bese uthola iqiniso elicacile, elingakhululeki kancane. Lapho ungena uthwele uvalo lwakho olungakacutshungulwa, awulizwa nje kuphela. Uyalusakaza, esiteshini abantu abasibuka kakhulu, ngendlela esabalala kalula kunazo zonke.
Kubukeka kanjani kusabalala
Kufanele ucabange ukuthi lokhu kwenzeka kanjani ngempela, ngoba ukusabalala kuvame ukungabi kukhulu. Kuncane.
Umholi ucindezelekile, ngakho imibuzo yabo iba bukhali kancane. Othile uzwa ubukhali bese ecabanga ukuthi wenze into engalungile, ngakho athule ayeke ukuveza umbono ongakapheli obungasiza. Omunye umuntu ufunda ukuthula njengesiqinisekiso sokuthi izinto zimbi, ngakho baqale basebenze isikhathi eside baphinde bahlole kabili umsebenzi obuvele umuhle. Owesithathu ubona ozakwabo ababili beziphatha becindezelekile bese ephetha ukuthi ukucindezeleka kufanelekile, yize kungekho ongasho ukuthi usongo luyini. Phakathi kosuku, iqembu lonke lisebenza lifudumele, lichitha amandla ekulawuleni isimo sengqondo kunasenkingeni yangempela.
Akukho okwamenyezelwa. Awukho umhlangano owabanjelwa ukukhathazeka. Ukukhathazeka kuvele kwanyakaza, umuntu nomuntu, ngendlela okwenza ngayo, kuthola isivinini njengoba kuhamba. Futhi ingxenye enonya ukuthi ithimba elinovalo livame ukusebenza kabi, okukhiqiza izindaba ezimbi ngokwengeziwe, ezondla uvalo olwengeziwe. Isiyingi siyaziqinisa.
Yingakho ukuvimbela kubaluleke ngokungalingani nendlela okuzwakala ngayo. Ukuzinzisa isimo sakho akusiyo into enhle yempilo eyimfihlo. Kungenye yezinyathelo ezimbalwa ezisebenza kuyo yonke inhlelo kanyekanye.
Ukudlulisela kuqhathaniswa nokuvimbela
Kukhona igama eliwusizo lenye indlela, elibolekwe ekwelapheni komndeni. Emashumini eminyaka edlule urabi nomcabangi wobuholi u-Edwin Friedman wachaza abaholi abahle kunabo bonke njengo "bukhona obungenavalo": umuntu ohlala exhumene nabantu abamzungezile futhi ekhathala ngempela, kodwa ongakhukhuleki angene ekusabeleni kweqembu. Bangazwa ukushisa egumbini ngaphandle kokubamba umlilo kuko.
Yilokho ukuvimbela okuyikho. Akusho ukuthi awuzwa lutho. Akusho ukuthi ufihla yonke into ukhombise ukuzola okunjengengilazi okungakhohlisi muntu. Kusho ukuthi uvalo lufika kuwe luphathwe kuwe, ukuze okufika ethimbeni lakho kube isimo nohlelo, hhayi ukwethuka.
Cabanga umehluko ngale ndlela. Isidluliseli sithatha noma yini engenayo siyidlulise ngqo, ngokuvamile ikhuliswe. Isitsha sithatha lokho okungenayo, sikubambe, sikuvumele kuzinze, sikhiphe okuthile abantu abakolunye uhlangothi abangakusebenzisa ngempela. Okungenayo okufanayo. Umphumela ohluke kakhulu kuwo wonke umuntu ongezansi.
Akukho kulokhu okumayelana nokuqinisela noma ukuvala. Isitsha esizenzisa ukuthi asizwa lutho imvamisa siyavuza noma kunjalo, ngethoni enqamulayo, ukubuka okuphazamisekile, ukuqanda okuzumayo kuma-imeyili. Abantu bafunda igebe phakathi kwamagama akho nobuso bakho, futhi igebe ngokwalo libenza babe novalo ngokwengeziwe, ngoba manje kukhona okungalungile futhi kuyafihlwa. Ukuvimbela kuphambene nalokho. Kuqotho. Nje akuthatheleli.
Okwenzeka ngempela ngaphakathi kuwe
Kuyasiza ukwazi ukuthi usebenza nani. Lapho into esongelayo ifika, uhlelo lwesixwayiso olusheshayo ebuchosheni bakho, olugxile esakhiweni esincane esibizwa nge-amygdala, luqhuma ngaphambi kokuba ukucabanga kwakho kufinyelele. Isivinini senhliziyo siyakhuphuka, ukunaka kuyancipha, umzimba wakho uzilungiselela ukusabela. Yilokho kugubha okuzwayo emizuzwaneni yokuqala yezindaba ezimbi.
Ingxenye yakho engakwazi ukwehlisa leso sixwayiso ihlala ngaphambili, ku-prefrontal cortex. Ucwaningo oluvela e-National Institute of Mental Health lwathola ukuthi abantu abanovalo oluncane bavame ukusebenzisa lezo zindawo ezilawulayo, ze-prefrontal ngokushesha, ngezinye izikhathi baze bandulele usongo ngaphambi kokuba lufike ngokugcwele, kanti abantu abanovalo oluphakeme bazisebenzisa kancane. Isifundo somholi akusikho ukuthi ukuzola kuwuphawu olumisiwe abanye abantu abanenhlanhla abazalwa nalo. Kuwukuthi umshini wokuzinzisa ungokoqobo, ungowomzimba, futhi ungaqiniswa usekelwe. Awubhajwe nanoma yikuphi ukusabela kwakho kokuqala.
Uhlobo olusebenzayo: ukugubha kuzenzakalela, kodwa lokho okwenzayo emizuzwaneni engamashumi amathathu elandelayo akunjalo. Lelo gebe yilapho ukuvimbela kuphila khona.
Indlela yokukuvimbela ngaleso sikhathi
Umgomo lapha uncane futhi ufinyeleleka. Zinzise ngokwanele ukuze ukwazi ukucabanga, ngaphambi kokuba usho noma uthumele noma yini igumbi elizoyimunca.
- Zithengele igebe. Ungasabeli ekugubheni. "Ake ngikubheke lokhu ngibuye kuwe ngehora" cishe kuhlala kutholakala, futhi cishe kuhlala kwanele. Kuncane kakhulu emsebenzini okudinga ngempela impendulo yomzwa esheshayo evela kumuntu ophethe.
- Zinzisa umzimba wakho ngaphambi kwekhanda lakho. Awukwazi ukucabanga indlela yakho eya ekuzoleni ngenkathi uhlelo lwakho lusesixwayisweni. Ukuphefumulela ngaphandle okukodwa okude, okuhambisayo, izinyawo phansi, amahlombe ehlile. Kwenze ngaphambi komhlangano, ephasishi, emotweni. Akusiyo into ethambile eyengeziwe. Kuyindlela ubuyisa ngayo ukwahlulela kwakho kusebenze.
- Kuqambe kuwe, ngasese. "Nginovalo ngale nombolo" kuzwakala kukuncane, kodwa ukubeka ilebula elithule emuzweni kususa ingxenye yamandla awo futhi kugcina ungakuqhubi ngenkathi wenza sengathi awukho.
- Nquma ukuthi yini ngempela ithimba elikudinga kuwe. Imvamisa yizinto ezimbili: ukufunda isimo ngamehlo acacile nomuzwa wokuthi kwenzekani okulandelayo. Hhayi ukwesaba kwakho okuluhlaza. Hlunga umehluko ngaphambi kokungena.
- Qaphela iziteshi ozikhohlwayo. Ithoni, isivinini, ubuso bakho ekufoneleni kwevidiyo, isivinini nobukhali bezimpendulo zakho. Abantu bakufunda lokho kakhulu kunamagama akho. Ukuphefumulela ngaphandle okuhamba kancane ngaphambi kokuthumela kushintsha okwengeziwe kunalokho ongakucabanga.
Ubuqotho ngaphandle kokuthathelana
Nakhu lapho iseluleko esiningi esinhloso enhle sihamba kabi khona. Sitshela abaholi ukuthi bafihle yonke into futhi "bahlale bebona okuhle," okukhiqiza ngqo ukuzola okucindezelekile, okungamanga okwenza amathimba angakhululeki.
Umbhali wobuholi uMorra Aarons-Mele, obhalela i-Harvard Business Review ngovalo emsebenzini, wenza icala elibukhali kakhulu. Ukucindezela lokho okuzwayo akusebenzi, futhi abantu bayakuzwa ukucindezela. Okusebenza kangcono ukuba qotho ngesimo sakho ngaphandle kokuthulula isisindo sako kubantu ababika kuwe. "Angilalanga kakhulu, ngibekezelele namuhla" kuqotho futhi kuzinzisa ngesikhathi esisodwa. Kutshela ithimba ukuthi ungumuntu nokuthi umhlabathi usaqinile. Ukuwohlokela egumbini, ulandisa zonke izimo ezimbi kunazo zonke, ucela ithimba lakho ukuba likuqinisekise, nakho kuqotho, kodwa kubanika umthwalo okumele ube uwuthwele wena.
Ngakho umugqa awukho phakathi kokufihla nokwabelana. Uphakathi kokwabelana ngendlela ezinzisayo nokwabelana ngendlela esabalalisayo. Ungayiqamba into enzima. Ungasho ukuthi inzima. Uvele uhlale ungumuntu omdala egumbini ngenkathi ukwenza, lowo osecacile ukuthi usevele uqalile ukukubhekana.
Okufanayo kuhamba nalokho ongakakwazi. "Anginaso isithombe esiphelele, futhi nakhu ukuthi sizosithola kanjani" kuzinzisa kakhulu kunokuqiniseka kwamanga, abantu abangakuhogela, noma ukujika okubonakalayo, abantu abakubambayo. Ukungaqiniseki okuzolile kunqoba ukuzethemba okunovalo isikhathi ngasinye.
Ukuvimbela ngesikrini
Ukuhola okuningi manje kwenzeka ngombhalo. Umlayezo ngo-9pm, impendulo yomugqa owodwa, uchungechunge oluhamba eceleni ngenkathi abantu abathathu belufunda ngezimo zengqondo ezintathu ezehlukene. Ucwaningo luka-Barsade lucacile ukuthi ukuthathelana akudingi ubuso. Kuhamba nangombhalo, futhi umbhalo yilapho uvalo luvuza khona ngezindlela obungeke uzivumele mathupha.
Imikhuba embalwa iyasiza. Owokuqala uhlaka olungathunyelwe. Lapho umlayezo ufika okugwazayo, bhala ukusabela kwakho uma kufanele, bese ungawuthumeli. Hlala nawo imizuzu embalwa, noma ubusuku bonke, futhi cishe uzohlala uthumela okuthile okungcono. Ukugubha owakuzwa ngo-9pm kuvame ukungasindi ubuthongo bobusuku.
Owesibili ukuqaphela izenzo zakho ozenza ngokuzenzakalela. U-"ok." omfushane ufundwa njengoqandayo lapho ubuqonde ukuthi usebenza kahle. Uchungechunge olude lwemilayezo yasebusuku ufundwa njengesixwayiso ngisho noma ngamunye enengqondo. Zibuze ukuthi ngabe isikhathi nethoni yalokho osuzokuthumela kuthwele ulwazi ongahlosile ukuluthumela. Ngokuvamile isinyathelo esinomusa kakhulu, esizinze kakhulu ukulinda kuze kuse bese ukusho kanye, ngokucacile.
Owesithathu ukuqamba ibanga ngalokho okuyikho. Umbhalo ususa ukufudumala nolimi lomzimba olungathambisa umlayezo onzima mathupha. Uma into ibalulekile futhi ingase ifundwe ngokungeyikho, kufanele ucingo noma ukubhekana ubuso nobuso okusheshayo esikhundleni sochungechunge. Indlela esheshayo kunazo zonke akuhlali kuyiyo ezinzisa abantu.
Lapho uvalo lukhulu kunomzuzu
Konke okungenhla kumayelana neziyaluyalu ezivamile zokuhola abantu. Izindaba ezimbi, amakota anzima, amagumbi acindezelekile. Ukuvimbela kuyikhono lalokho, futhi njenganoma yiliphi ikhono lakhelwa ezikhathini ezizolile libizwe ezinzima.
Kodwa ziqotho kuwe ngesimo esihlukile. Uma uvalo lwakho lungaboshelwe kunoma yisiphi isehlakalo esisodwa, uma lukhona iningi lezinsuku, luqaqa ubuthongo bakho, ukugxila kwakho, isineke sakho nabantu obakhathalelayo, noma uma uzibambele ngamandla emsebenzini nge-adrenaline futhi amahora okuphumula angalwehlisi, leyo akuyona inkinga yokuvimbela futhi asikho isilinganiso sokuphefumula kancane ephasishi esizoyilungisa. Lokho kufanele kuyiswe kudokotela noma kudokotela wengqondo. Kungokoqobo, kuyelapheka, kuvamile. Ukufinyelela kulolo hlobo losizo akulona ufa ebuholini bakho. Kuwuhlobo olunesibopho kakhulu lwabo, ngoba umholi onakekela uvalo lwakhe umholi onokuzinza okuningi kakhulu okungabolekwa.
Yilowo umvuzo othule wakho konke lokhu. Abantu ababheke kuwe bahlala, ezingeni elithize, bebuza umbuzo ofanayo: ngabe kuphephile lapha, ngabe ngingawenza umsebenzi omuhle, ngabe umhlabathi uzobamba. Awukwazi ukubathembisa izikhathi ezilula. Lokho ongakunikeza ukuzinikela njengendawo ezinzile lapho izinto ziba nzima, umuntu okuthi uvalo luzinze kuye esikhundleni sokusabalala. Leso yisipho sangempela sokunika abantu. Futhi kuvame ukubuyela kuwe.
Imithombo
- Knowledge at Wharton, Leadership Influence: Controlling Emotional Contagion
- Harvard Business Review, Morra Aarons-Mele, Leading Through Anxiety
- National Institute of Mental Health, Brain Activity Patterns in Anxiety-Prone People Suggest Deficits in Handling Fear
- Sigal Barsade, The Ripple Effect: Emotional Contagion and Its Influence on Group Behavior (Administrative Science Quarterly)