Ezinsukwini eziyisishiyagalolunye ezedlule ubuziqeqesha izikhathi ezine ngeviki futhi kuhamba kahle. Usakwazi ukukwenza. Izicathulo zisakulinganela, uhlelo lusesefrijini, futhi konke owakufunda mayelana nokuqhuba lokhu kusesezandleni zakho.
Kwabe sekufika isikhathi esimatasa emsebenzini sathatha zonke izintambama. Yileso isizathu esivamile samagebe amaningi, futhi kufanele sishiwo ngokusobala kunokuba senziwe imfihlakalo.
Manje usufuna ukubuyela, futhi umzwelo wakho wokuqala uthi uqale ngeseshini ephindwe kabili. Ungakwenzi. Lowo mzwelo yiyona ndlela ethembeke kunazo zonke yokubulala lo mkhuba okwesibili, futhi akulona iphutha lokuziphatha, kuyiphutha lokubalwa kwezimali. Ucabanga ukuthi ukweleta okuthile. Awukweleti lutho. Nakhu ukubuya okuma kahle: thatha iseshini elandelayo esohlelweni, ngesilinganiso sayo esincane kunazo zonke, bese ukhulula lezo owaziphuthelwa.
Ngingabuyela kanjani emkhubeni ngemva kokuma?
Yenza iseshini elandelayo esohlelweni ngesilinganiso sayo esiphansi bese ukhansela konke okuphuthelwe. Akukho ukukhokhela okwedlule, akukho iviki lesijeziso, azikho iziseshini eziphindwe kabili zokufakazela ukuthi igebe alibalwanga.
Iseshini elandelayo esohlelweni yiwona wonke umgomo. Hhayi iseshini enhle kakhulu, hhayi iseshini ekhokhela okuthile, kodwa nje leyo esivele isekhalendeni, ngesimo sayo esincane esisabalwayo. Uma isilinganiso sakho esiphansi kuyimizuzu eyishumi nanhlanu, namuhla kusihlwa kuyimizuzu eyishumi nanhlanu, noma ngabe uzizwa ungakwazi ukwenza engamashumi amane. Ikakhulukazi uma uzizwa ungakwazi ukwenza engamashumi amane.
Kukhona isizathu sokubambelela kulesi silinganiso esiphansi lapho uzizwa unamandla. Iseshini yokubuya ayimayelana nomthwalo wokuziqeqesha, imayelana nokufakazela ukuthi uhlelo luyaphila futhi. Ukwenza encane bese uyiqeda kahle kukutshela ukuthi umshini uyasebenza. Ukwenza enkulu kakhulu kukushiya ubuhlungu, usalele emsebenzini owadala igebe, futhi ngokuthulile ukholwa ukuthi ukubuya kuyabiza. Uyoyikhumbula leyo ntengo ngesikhathi esilandelayo uma kuvela igebe, futhi ngaleso sikhathi uyothikaziswa isikhathi eside ngaphambi kokubuya.
Iyini intela yecala?
Umsebenzi owengeziwe abantu abawufaka lapho bebuya ukuze bazitshele ukuthi bazimisele ngempela. Ubiza kakhulu kunalezo ziseshini owaziphuthelwa, futhi yiwo oguqula igebe elilodwa libe ukuma okungapheli.
Ifika ngezimo esizijwayele. Iviki eliphindwe kabili. Uhlelo olunzima kunalolo obelusebenza. Umthetho othi awukwazi ukuqala kuze kufike uMsombuluko, ngakho nanamuhla akubalwa. Inkulumo yangaphakathi mayelana nokwenzekile, elethwa ngaphambi kokuba uvunyelwe ukuqala. Konke lokhu kwenza ukubuyela kubize kakhulu kunalokho umkhuba wangempela owake wakubiza, okuyinto exakayo ukuyenza kulowo mzuzu odinga ukuba ushibhile.
Qaphela ukubalwa kwezibalo. Uphuthelwe izinsuku eziyisishiyagalolunye. Intela ithi kufanele wenze okungaphezu kokujwayelekile, ngesikhathi lapho iviki lakho ngokwemvelo selivele ligcwele, ukuze ulungise into engonakalanga ngempela. Yileyo ndlela igebe lezinsuku eziyisishiyagalolunye eliba ngayo igebe lamaviki ayisishiyagalolunye.
Ngidinga ukukhokhela iziseshini engaziphuthelwa?
Cha. Iziseshini oziphuthelwe ziyakhanselwa, azihlelwa kabusha. Asikho isikweletu. Ucwaningo luyavumelana nalokhu kubalwa.
Umsebenzi wokwakhiwa kwemikhuba owafingqwa ku-British Journal of General Practice wathola ukuthi ukuphuthelwa yithuba elithile lokwenza isenzo akuwulimazanga kakhulu lo mzila, nokuthi ukwanda kokwenzeka ngokuzenzakalelayo kwaqhubeka ngemva kokuphuthelwa kanye. Umkhuba uqinile kunemizwa yakho ngawo. Akukho okuthathwayo yigebe. Into eyodwa igebe elikubiza yona yilezo ziseshini uqobo, futhi zihambile ngendlela efanayo noLwesibili odlule ohambe ngayo.
Ucwaningo olukhulu kunazo zonke olwake lwenziwa lukhomba endaweni efanayo. Kucwaningo olukhulu lwezindawo zokuzivocavoca olwashicilelwa ku-Nature, abantu abangaphezu kwezinkulungwane ezingamashumi ayisithupha babelwa izinhlelo ezingamashumi amahlanu nane ezihlukene zamaviki amane, futhi lolo olwenza kangcono kunazo zonke lwanika abantu umklomelo ngokubuya ngemva kokuphuthelwa ukuzivocavoca. Umzuzu onethonya elikhulu kunazo zonke kuyo yonke le nsimu yemikhuba yokuzivocavoca yileyo seshini elandela ngokushesha ukuphuthelwa, futhi umnyakazo owanqoba kwaba ukwenza leyo seshini ishibhe, hhayi ukuyenza ibize kakhulu. Intela yecala yenza okuphambene ncamashi.
Kukhona okukodwa okuyiqiniso okuhlukile, futhi akusona isikweletu. Uma usebenzela usuku olumisiwe, umjaho, umbukiso womculo, uhlolo, khona-ke isikhathi esiphakathi kwalapha nalolo suku sesinamaviki ambalwa kunakuqala, ngakho uhlelo luyalungiswa kabusha. Kwenze ephepheni, ngokuzola, umgomo ubekwe khona lapho owubeka khona. Lokho kuyisinqumo sokuhlela mayelana namaviki azayo. Akusiyo iseshini yesijeziso, futhi akuyona into oyikweleta lezo zinsuku eziyisishiyagalolunye ezingemuva kwakho.
Ngilinde uMsombuluko ngaphambi kokuqala futhi?
Cha. Thatha iseshini elandelayo esohlelweni, noma ngabe iwela nini. Uma kunguMsombuluko, kulungile. Uma kunamuhla ngehora lesithupha, kunamuhla ngehora lesithupha.
Ukulinda usuku lokuqala oluhlanzekile kuyintela yecala igqoke ikhalenda. Kuzwakala kuwukuziphatha ngokuzethemba, kanti okwenzayo ngempela ukungeza izinsuku egebeni kuyilapho kukunika umuzwa wokuthi usuyibhekene nayo. Kodwa into eqeda amagebe yiseshini eyodwa eqediwe, futhi ngokushesha okwenzeka ngakho, indaba eyakhiwa ngalo iba ncane.
Uma uhlelo lwakho lunezinsuku ezimisiwe futhi namuhla lungelona olunye lwazo, kulungile, ungaqambi iseshini. Kodwa ungaqambi nokulibala. Faka elandelayo efonini yakho ngaphambi kokuvala leli khasi, ngesilinganiso esiphansi, uyiphathe njengesikhathi esivamile sokuhlangana, hhayi njengokubuya okukhulu.
Ngizithini uma ngibuyela?
Yiba nomusho owodwa olungiselelwe kusengaphambili, olula ngokwanele ukuwusho ngenkathi ufaka izicathulo zakho. Owethu uthi: Ngiphuthelwe izinsuku eziyisishiyagalolunye, lezo ziseshini zikhanseliwe, futhi namuhla kusihlwa ngeyona encane kunazo zonke.
Bhala owakho manje, ngosuku oluzolile, bese ushintsha inombolo lapho uyidinga. Injongo yomugqa obhaliwe ukuthi ususa lowo mzuzu ezingxoxweni. Ingqondo ekhathele uma inikwa umbuzo ovulekile izokhipha noma inkulumo ende noma ukuxoxisana, futhi akukho nokukodwa kwalokho okubeka umuntu emnyango.
Ukuzimela ohlangothini lwakho lapha akusiyo indlela ethambile, kuyileyo esebenza kangcono. Ekuhlolweni okune okwashicilelwa ku-Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, uJuliana Breines noSerena Chen bathola ukuthi abantu ababheka ukwehluleka ngomusa kubo ngokwabo babonisa ugqozi olukhulu lokushintsha lobo buthakathaka futhi bachitha isikhathi eside befundela ukuhlolwa okunzima ngemva kwemiphumela emibi yokuqala kunabantu ababekwiqembu lokuqhathanisa. Ukuzigxeka kuzwakala kuwukuziphendulela. Ezilinganisweni, abantu abazithethelela bona ngokwabo basebenza kanzima ngemva kwalokho.
Igebe belingakaze libe yinkinga. Ukubuya yilona khono.
Wonke umuntu oqhuba umsebenzi obucayi iminyaka engamashumi amabili uzoba namagebe. Amakota ayaphambuka, abantu bayagula, amaphrojekthi adla izinyanga. Umuntu osaziqeqesha eneminyaka engamashumi amahlanu akusiye lowo ongakaze abe negebe lezinsuku eziyisishiyagalolunye. Umuntu ukubuya kwakhe okungabizi lutho, ngakho ukwenzile lokho izikhathi ezingamashumi amane engaqapheli.
Ngakho yenza ukubuyela kube yinto eshibhe kunazo zonke evikini lakho. Isilinganiso esiphansi, ithuba elilandelayo elisohlelweni, akukho ukukhokhela okwedlule, umusho owodwa, bese ubuyela ngqo ohlelweni olujwayelekile eseshini elandelayo. Gcina umgomo ukhona lapho ubukhona, ngoba igebe alishintshanga lokho okuyisebenzelayo. Lishintshe izinsuku eziyisishiyagalolunye.
Awuwulahlekelwanga umkhuba. Uwumisile isikhashana, futhi usuzofakazela ukuthi ukumisa isikhashana kuyaphileka, okuyinto ewusizo ukuyazi ukwedlula lokho ohambo olungaphazamisekile obeluzokufundisa khona.
Imithombo
- British Journal of General Practice, Making health habitual: the psychology of 'habit-formation' and general practice
- Nature, Megastudies improve the impact of applied behavioural science
- Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, Self-Compassion Increases Self-Improvement Motivation