Cabanga ngesikhathi sokugcina umele khona omunye umuntu. Mhlawumbe watholela ilungu leqembu lakho isikhundla ebesivele senza umsebenzi waso, noma watshela iklayenti ukuthi kungani umuntu weqembu lakho ekufanelekela lokho kukhokhelwa. Wawuqondile. Wawungakhathazekile. Awuxolisanga ngisho nakanye.
Lowo muntu ungumxoxisani ohlabahlosile, futhi usuhlangene naye, ngoba nguwe. Bese kufika ingxoxo efanayo inegama lakho kuyo bese izwi liyacisha, inombolo inanyathiselwe ububanzi, futhi icala elihle ngokuphelele liphenduka ithemba nje.
Lesi akusona isici okufanele silungiswe ngokuzethemba okwengeziwe. Kuyithuluzi, futhi kuyinto ewusizo kunazo zonke kule ndawo yonke, ngoba kusho ukuthi ikhono selivele lifakiwe futhi selivele lalungiselelwa. Akudingeki ube nesibindi esikhulu. Kudingeka ukhiphe icala lakho kumuntu wokuqala imizuzu eyishumi.
Kungani ngikwazi ukuxoxisana ngabanye kodwa ngingakwazi ngami?
Ngoba ubungozi bokuphathwa ngabanye buzwakala buhlukile, hhayi ngoba ikhono lihlukile. Ukumela omunye umuntu kubukeka njengokwethembeka, kanti ukuzimela wena kuzwakala kungabukeka njengokuhaha, ngakho umusho ofanayo uzwakala uphephile emlonyeni owodwa futhi uyingozi kwelinye.
Lowo muzwa awuwona owokucabanga nje, futhi kufanele ubikwe ngokuqondile hhayi ngokubanzi. Ochungechungeni lwezivivinyo olwaziwayo, abesifazane ababexoxisana ngabo bebodwa babelindele ukujeziswa ngokuphathwa ngabantu ngenxa yokuzimela futhi babevuma kakhulu ngenxa yalokho, kanti abesifazane abafanayo baxoxisana ngesibindi esilingana nesamadoda ocwaningweni ngokushesha nje lapho bemela umngane. Amadoda kulolo cwaningo awabonisanga igebe elinjalo. Olunye ucwaningo lwathola ukuthi abahloli babebajezisa abafuna umsebenzi ngokumane baqale ingxoxo yokuxoxisana, futhi babejezisa abesifazane ngaphezu kwamadoda ngokwenza lokho. Ngakho kwabanye abafundi ukuqaphela kubhaliwe, kanti kwabanye kusengukhona okumisa inombolo ngokuthula.
Isiphetho esiwusizo akusona ukuthi kufanele wesabe kakhulu. Ukuthi izwi lomxhasi, lelo eliqondile futhi elingesabi, selivele lingelakho futhi selivele libonakalisiwe phambi kwabanye abantu. Liyatholakala. Nje libhalwe phansi ngaphansi kwegama lomunye umuntu.
Ngingalibhala kanjani icala lami ngendlela ebengingabhala ngayo elomunye?
Bhala konke ngomuntu wesithathu kuqala, kunegama labo, bese ufaka igama lakho ungashintshi okunye. Fundela phezulu kokubili, ngokulandelana.
Umbhalo wokuqala, ngomsebenzi okanye naye:
UPriya usephethe uhlelo lwe-platform kusukela ngoJanuwari ngaphandle kwesikhundla. Uqedile ukudluliswa kwedatha ngamasonto amabili kusenesikhathi, futhi useyilowo iqembu losizo elimdlulisela kuye izinkinga. Ibhande lalowo msebenzi liyikhulu namashumi amane. Kufanele abe kwikhulu namashumi amane.
Umbhalo wesibili, icala elifanayo, igama lakho:
Ngiphethe uhlelo lwe-platform kusukela ngoJanuwari ngaphandle kwesikhundla. Ngiqedile ukudluliswa kwedatha ngamasonto amabili kusenesikhathi, futhi sengiyilowo iqembu losizo elingidlulisela kimi izinkinga. Ibhande lalowo msebenzi liyikhulu namashumi amane. Kufanele ngibe kwikhulu namashumi amane.
Abantu abaningi abakwazi ukubhala owesibili ngaphandle kokuwuthambisa. Kuvela amagama ayengekho neze embhalweni wokuqala: "ngandlela thile", "ngasiza ku", "ngicabanga mhlawumbe", "uma lokho kubonakala kufanelekile". Lelo gebe, elibonakala embhalweni wakho siqu, yilona kanye izinga ozehlisa ngalo, futhi likholisa kakhulu kunanoma yikuphi ukukhuthazwa, ngoba nguwe okhiphe ubufakazi.
Bhala umbhalo wokuqala, bese ubhala owesibili, bese usula noma yini ekumbhalo wesibili engekho kowokuqala. Okusalayo yikho ukucela kwakho.
Ngingaxhasa bani, futhi ngikwenza kanjani ngempela?
Umeluleki ukhuluma nawe. Umxhasi usho igama lakho ekamelweni ongekho kulo. Owesibili yiwo oshintsha imisebenzi, futhi yiwo iningi labantu elingawutholi, yingakho ukuwenza ngamabomu kubaluleke kangaka.
Leli gebe lilinganisiwe, akulona inganekwane. Ucwaningo lwe-Catalyst lwabantu abanamandla amakhulu abangaphezu kuka-4,000, olwabikwa ku-Harvard Business Review, lwathola ukuthi abesifazane abaningi kunamadoda babenabeluleki kodwa besakhokhelwa kancane futhi bethuthukiswa kancane, ngoba ukuxhaswa kuphela okuhilela ukumelwa ekuthuthukisweni.
Ukuxhasa akuwona umuzwa futhi akudingi uhlelo olukhethekile. Khetha abantu ababili ongakwazi ngobuqotho ukufakazela umsebenzi wabo. Bese usho igama labo, ngokuzwakalayo, kubantu abanquma ngabo, ngesimangalo esiqondile nomphumela oqondile ocelwayo. "UPriya waphatha ukudluliswa kwedatha wakuqeda ngamasonto amabili kusenesikhathi. Kufanele abe sohlwini olufingqiwe lwesikhundla sokuhola i-platform." Yilokho isinyathelo sonke. Kubiza umusho owodwa, futhi kulowo okutholayo kungumehluko phakathi kokwaziwa nokucatshangelwa.
Kwenze kathathu kule kota, emakamelweni amathathu ahlukene. Qaphela ukuthi uzwakala kanjani ngenkathi ukwenza: uqondile, awunqikazi, awunabo ububanzi, awuzivikeli, awuxolisi ngenombolo. Yilelo izwi. Ngelona kanye icala lakho elidinga ngoLwesibili, futhi usulisebenzisile muva nje ngokwanele ukuze ulithole futhi.
Kukhona neqiniso lezimali okufanele lishiwo, ngoba lesi sigaba asenzi sengathi ukupha kumahhala. Ukufakazela umuntu kubeka ingxenyana yodumo lwakho etafuleni. Yilokho okuqondiwe. Yikho futhi okwenza kusebenze: isimangalo esibiza okuthile kulowo osishoyo yisona kuphela abantu abasikholwayo.
Ngithini uma ngibonga umuntu obala?
Sho igama lomuntu, sho into ecacile ayenzile, futhi ukusho phambi kwabantu umbono wabo ngaye obalulekile ngempela. Ukudumisa okungacacile kungumsindo, futhi ukuthi "nenze kahle nonke" akwenzi lutho kunoma ubani ekamelweni.
Isimo sifushane. "Ngifuna ukuveza okuthile. Lapho umhlinzeki wezinkokhelo ewa ngoLwesine, uMarcus wabhala kabusha ilogic yokuzama futhi ntambama yayodwa futhi asilahlekelwanga ama-oda. Kwakuyisinqumo sakhe futhi sasilungile." Imisho emithathu, isenzo esisodwa esiqondile, umuntu oyedwa oshiwo ngegama, kushiwo lapho umphathi wakhe noma iklayenti lakhe lingezwa khona.
Kubiza umuphi umusho owodwa futhi kufike kolutholayo njengomcimbi omkhulu emsebenzini wakhe, okuyinzuzo ongeke uyithole kwenye indawo esontweni lokusebenza. Imithetho emibili ikugcina kuthembekile. Kusho kuphela uma kuyiqiniso, ngoba ukudumisa okukhukhumele kwehlisa inani lento elandelayo yangempela oyishoyo. Futhi ungakunamathiseli emseni ofunayo. Ngesikhathi ukubonga sekuhwetshelwana ngakho kuyayeka ukuba ukubonga bese kuba yikuhweba abantu abakuzwayo.
Yiziphi izinto ezintathu okumele ukucela kwami kube nazo?
Inombolo, isizathu esisekelwe emsebenzini, nosuku lokuphendulwa. Konke okunye kuyazikhethela, futhi okuningi abantu abakwengezayo kungukugcwalisa abazisola ngakho kamuva.
Inombolo iyisibalo esisodwa, hhayi ububanzi, esishiwo njengomusho ophelele. Isizathu ngumugqa owodwa mayelana nalokho osuphethe manje obungakuphethe ngaphambili, hhayi imigqa emithathu mayelana nokuthi usebenze kanzima kangakanani, ngoba ukuphatha kuyahlolisiseka kanti umzamo awuhloliseki. Usuku lwenza ingxoxo emnandi ibe yisinqumo: "Ungabuya kimi ekupheleni kwenyanga?" akuwona ubudlova, kuyikhalenda, futhi ngaphandle kwalo ukucela kwakho kujoyina uhlu okungekho olufundayo.
Sho lezo zintathu, bese uyathula ubavumele bacabange. Usulenzile leli cala kanye ngale ndlela ngabanye abantu, ngobude obufanayo, ngaphandle kokujuluka. Akukho lutho okunzima ngakho ngoba igama seliguqukile.
Umkhuba nokucela kuyiminyaka efanayo engamashumi amabili
Umsunguli we-KEEP CALM, uKaʻohele Carlos, ubeka ukubuyisela phakathi kwezizathu ezenza umsebenzi wakhe wasebenza nhlobo. Ngamazwi akhe, enye imfihlo yempumelelo yakhe ukubuyisela, ukwenza umsebenzi wokuzithandela, ukuhlala efuna amathuba okuqeqesha, ukufundisa, ukweluleka, ukuphakamisa, ukubonga nokumela labo ababesendaweni yakhe, futhi uthi amandla amahle nokusekelwa akutholayo kwakuphindwe kayishumi. Lokho ngukulandisa kwakhe ngeminyaka yakhe engamashumi amabili hhayi umthetho ongawethemba, futhi imininingwane ebalulekile ngoLwesibili yisikhathi. Akaqalanga ngemuva kokufika. Wakwenza indlela yonke eya phezulu, esasebenza kanzima futhi esasilela esithunzini asifunayo.
Uma kufundwa ngokusebenza, lelo luhlelo lokuqeqeshwa. Njalo lapho wenzela omunye umuntu icala elinzima uzilolonga ngaphansi kwezimo zangempela, phambi kwezethameli zangempela nangokusengozini kwangempela, futhi wakha idumela lokuba umuntu owakha abantu, into abaphathi bokuqasha abayikhokhelayo. Bese ungena ekuhloleni kwakho usulishilo icala lenombolo izikhathi eziningana nyakenye.
Zicelele ngendlela ocelela ngayo omunye umuntu. Ubufakazi obufanayo, isibalo esifanayo, izwi elizinzile elifanayo. Usuyenzile inguqulo enzima kakade.
Imithombo
- Harvard Kennedy School Gender Action Portal, Negotiating Gender Roles: Gender Differences in Assertive Negotiating Are Mediated by Women's Fear of Backlash and Attenuated When Negotiating on Behalf of Others
- Harvard Kennedy School, Social Incentives for Gender Differences in the Propensity to Initiate Negotiations: Sometimes It Does Hurt to Ask
- Harvard Business Review, Why Men Still Get More Promotions Than Women