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Aia ʻoe i loko o ka pilikia a i ʻole ke noʻonoʻo nei e hōʻeha iā ʻoe iho? ʻAʻole ʻoe hoʻokahi. E ʻimi i kahi laina kōkua →

ALAKAʻI ME KA POʻO INOA ʻOLE · NĀ HOA LIKE

Ke alakaʻi ʻana i kou mau hoa like: pehea e alakaʻi ai me ka hoʻokuʻi kūlana ʻole

ʻO ke noi ʻia e alakaʻi i ka poʻe āu i noho pū ai ma mua, ʻo ia kekahi o nā wahi hilahila loa o kekahi ʻoihana. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke kauoha, a ʻaʻole ʻoe e makemake. Eia ke ʻano e loaʻa ai ke kōkua ʻaʻole e hele pū me kahi poʻo inoa.

He pūʻulu kānaka e hālāwai ana

Photo by Mario Gogh on Unsplash

Nā ʻōlelo aʻo wikiwiki

  • E kōkua i kahi hoa hana ma mua o kou noi i kekahi mea.
  • E kono i ka poʻe e komo, mai haʻawi kuleana iā lākou.
  • E ʻōlelo i ko lākou inoa ke lanakila ka hana.

I ka pule i hala, ʻo ʻoe kekahi o ka hui. I kēia pule ke hoʻokele nei ʻoe i ka papahana, a ke noho mau nei ka poʻe like ma kou ʻaoʻao. ʻAʻohe mea e hōʻike ana iā ʻoe. ʻAʻohe mea e pono e hana i kāu e ʻōlelo ai. Akā naʻe, ma kekahi ʻano, pono e pau ka hana, i ka manawa, me ka huki like ʻana o nā mea a pau i ke ʻano like.

ʻO kēia ke ʻano alakaʻi ʻē loa, a ʻo ia hoʻi ke ʻano maʻamau loa. Hana ka hapa nui o ke alakaʻi a kekahi o kākou e hana ai ma ka ʻaoʻao, ʻaʻole i lalo. Ke hoʻonohonoho nei ʻoe i kahi hoʻokuʻu ʻana ma waena o ʻekolu ʻoihana. ʻO ʻoe ke kanaka kaʻawale i kapa ʻole ʻia e kekahi. ʻO ʻoe ka mea e ʻike i ka hele lana o ka hana a ʻōlelo i kekahi mea. ʻAʻole hele pū kēlā me ka mana e koi ai i kekahi e hana i kekahi mea.

ʻO ka manaʻo, ke ʻaʻohe ou mana, ʻo ke lalau ʻana i ka helehelena ona. Ke kamaʻilio leo nui iki, ke hoʻouna i ka leka uila ʻano kauoha, ke hoʻokuʻu i kahi hōʻailona e pili ana i ka mea nāna i noi iā ʻoe e hoʻokele i kēia. ʻAneʻane mau kēlā e hema me nā hoa like, no ka mea hiki iā lākou ke honi i kahi hōʻailona hōʻaiʻē mai kēlā ʻaoʻao o ka lumi. Aia kahi ala ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, a ua paʻa kupanaha ka noiʻi e pili ana.

No ke aha ʻaʻole ke poʻo inoa ka manaʻo

Eia kekahi mea kūpono e noho me ia: ʻo ka poʻe e loaʻa ka mana, kakaʻikahi lākou e alakaʻi me ia. Ua nalowale ka lumi i kahi luna e pono e ʻōlelo mau ʻo "no ka mea ʻo wau ka luna." He mea ka mana maoli a nā poʻe ʻē aʻe e hāʻawi ai iā ʻoe. Ua ʻōlelo maopopo ka Harvard Business Review i nā makahiki i hala: he kūpono nā alakaʻi ke ʻae nā poʻe ʻē aʻe iā lākou pēlā, ma ka lawe koʻikoʻi ʻana i ko lākou mau manaʻo, ka hahai ʻana i kā lākou mau ʻōlelo aʻo, a me ka hele ʻana iā lākou no ke aʻo. E nānā, na ke kanaka ʻē aʻe kēlā me kēia hana ma ia ʻōlelo. Hoʻolohe lākou. Hahai lākou. Huli lākou iā ʻoe. ʻAʻole ʻoe e lawe i kekahi o ia mea. Loaʻa iā ʻoe ma ka hana.

ʻO ia ka manaʻo ʻaʻole ka nele i ka poʻo inoa ka pilikia e like me kona ʻano. Wehe wale ia i ke ala pōkole a waiho iā ʻoe me ka mea e hana maoli ai: ka hilinaʻi, ka kūpono, a me ka moʻolelo o ka pono no ka poʻe a puni iā ʻoe.

Ka mīkini mālie: e hāʻawi ma mua o ke noi

Hele mai ke kumu paʻa loa no ke alakaʻi ʻana i nā hoa like mai ʻelua mea noiʻi kula ʻoihana, ʻo Allan Cohen lāua ʻo David Bradford, nāna i noiʻi i ke ʻano o ka hana ʻana o ka poʻe a puni i kahi hui ke hiki ʻole iā lākou ke kauoha i kekahi. ʻO kā lāua pane, ʻo ia ka hoʻololi like. Mālama kākou a pau i kahi puke helu, ka hapa nui me ka ʻike ʻole, no ke kanaka i kōkua mai a me ka mea i kōkua ʻole. Ke kōkua ʻoe i kahi hoa hana, kūkulu ʻoe i kahi ʻano ʻaiʻē, a naʻau ka hapa nui o ka poʻe i ka huki maoli e uku hou.

ʻO kā lāua ʻike ʻoi aku ka oi, e pili ana i ka mea e helu ʻia he kōkua. Kamaʻilio ʻo Cohen lāua ʻo Bradford no nā "kālā" — nā mea like ʻole a ka poʻe e mahalo maoli ai ma ka hana. No kekahi hoa hana, ʻo ka ʻike ʻia ma mua o ka luna. No kekahi, ʻo ka ʻikepili, a i ʻole kahi haʻahaʻa o ka hana, a i ʻole ke komo ʻia i nā hoʻoholo hoihoi, a i ʻole ke mahalo wale ʻia ma ke ʻano he loea. ʻO ka hewa ka manaʻo makemake nā mea a pau i ka mea āu e makemake ai. ʻO ka ʻakamai ka nānā lōʻihi e aʻo i ka mea i nele maoli kēlā me kēia kanaka, a laila e lilo i ka mea e hāʻawi ai.

ʻAʻole kēia he hoʻopunipuni, inā e ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻoe. ʻAʻole ʻoe e kūʻai i ka poʻe. Ke ʻike nei ʻoe i kā lākou pono a kōkua ma kahi e hiki ai, e like me kou manaʻolana e kōkua mai kahi hoa hana maikaʻi iā ʻoe. ʻO ka mahele alakaʻi, ʻo ia ka hana me ka manaʻo, a me ka hana mua ʻana.

ʻElima neʻe e hana maoli ana

Ke alakaʻi ʻoe ma ka ʻaoʻao, lawe nā mea liʻiliʻi i ka hapa nui o ke kaumaha. He puʻu i kōkua paʻa:

  1. E noi, ʻaʻole e haʻawi kuleana. ʻO "Hiki iā ʻoe ke lawe i ka māhele ʻikepili, no kāu ʻike maikaʻi loa?" he pae ʻokoʻa loa ma mua o "Pono au iā ʻoe e hana i ka māhele ʻikepili." Mālama ka mua i kou hoa hana ma ke ʻano he kanaka makua mākaukau ʻo ia. Mālama ka lua iā ia ma ke ʻano he kanaka hōʻike ʻaʻole ʻo ia.
  2. ʻO ka pahuhopu ka luna, ʻaʻole ʻo ʻoe. E hahai ka poʻe i kahi kumu akāka a kaʻana like ma mua loa o ka hahai ʻana i nā makemake o kahi hoa like. E kuhikuhi mau i ka mea a pau e hoʻāʻo nei e hoʻokō, i huki ai ka papahana i ka hui ma kahi o kou pana ʻana iā ia.
  3. E alakaʻi me nā nīnau. Ke ʻaʻole ʻo ʻoe ka loea kahiko loa o ka lumi, ʻo kāu mea hana maikaʻi loa he nīnau maikaʻi. Hōʻailona ia aia ʻoe ma laila e wehewehe pū, ʻaʻole e hōʻike maopopo. Hoʻokumu pinepine ia i nā pane ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma mua o kou koho mua.
  4. E hāʻawi i ka mahalo me ka leo nui a pinepine. Nānā pono nā hoa like inā e hoʻoʻiliʻili ʻoe i nā lanakila. E lilo i ke kanaka e ʻōlelo me ka pololei i ka mea i hana i kēlā me kēia, ʻoiai ke hoʻolohe nei nā alakaʻi. ʻO ka lokomaikaʻi me ka mahalo kekahi o nā kālā maʻalahi a mana loa kou.
  5. E hemolele i kou māhele ponoʻī. ʻAʻohe mea e loaʻa wikiwiki ai ka mana ʻaoʻao ma mua o ka hana maikaʻi ʻana a i ka manawa o kou māhele. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻopaʻa i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe i kahi kūlana āu ʻaʻole e mālama iā ʻoe iho, a me nā hoa like, hoʻokō ʻia kēlā kūlana ma ke kumu hoʻohālike wale nō.

E hana palekana ke ʻoiaʻiʻo iā ʻoe

ʻAʻole pili ke alakaʻi maikaʻi ʻana i nā hoa like i ka hoʻolilo wale ʻana iā lākou e hana. Pili ia i ka hoʻolilo ʻana iā lākou e haʻi i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, me nā māhele āu ʻaʻole e makemake e lohe. Hema mālie kahi papahana ke ʻike ka poʻe i ka aila a hoʻoholo ʻaʻole no lākou e ʻōlelo.

Ua hoʻolilo ka mea noiʻi o Harvard ʻo Amy Edmondson i nā makahiki e noiʻi ana i kēia a hāʻawi i kahi inoa: palekana noʻonoʻo. ʻO ia ka manaʻo like he hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo me kahi hopohopo, kahi nīnau, a i ʻole kahi hewa me ka hoʻopaʻi ʻole ʻia a hoʻohaʻahaʻa ʻole ʻia. Ua hoʻopuka kāna hana mua i kekahi mea i kāhāhā iā ia. Hōʻike nā hui ikaika loa i nā hewa hou, ʻaʻole ʻuʻuku. ʻAʻole lākou i ʻino aʻe. Ua palekana lawa lākou e kamaʻilio i ka mea i hema, ʻo ia wale nō ke ala e hoʻoponopono ai kahi hui i kekahi mea.

No kekahi e alakaʻi me ka poʻo inoa ʻole, he makana kēia, no ka mea ʻaʻole koi ke kūkulu ʻana i ka palekana i kekahi mana. Kūkulu ʻoe iā ia ma ke ʻano o kāu pane. Ke kuhikuhi kahi hoa hana i kahi pilikia, e mahalo iā lākou ma mua o kāu hana ʻana i kekahi mea ʻē aʻe. Ke hewa ʻoe, e ʻōlelo mua ʻoe a me ka maopopo. Ke hana ʻole kā kekahi manaʻo, e hoʻokaʻawale i ka manaʻo mai ke kanaka. E hana i kēlā i kekahi mau manawa a aʻo ka poʻe, me ka ʻōlelo ʻole ʻana mai ou, ua palekana ka ʻoiaʻiʻo me ʻoe. E hana kēlā kaulana i ʻoi aku no kou mana ma mua o kekahi poʻo inoa.

I ka wā ʻaʻole ke alakaʻi ʻaoʻao nāu e hoʻoponopono

Aia kahi palena maoli ma ʻaneʻi, a kūpono e kapa, no ka mea e hoʻoluhi ka hoʻokamani ʻē aʻe iā ʻoe.

I kekahi manawa ʻaʻole e kōkua kekahi hoa like ʻoiai kou lokomaikaʻi a maopopo. I kekahi manawa, aia ʻelua kānaka o ka hui i loko o ka paio ākea, a i ʻole ke kūʻē nei ka hana a kekahi i kahi laina, a i ʻole hema mau ka hana no ka mea ʻaʻole i wehewehe maoli ʻia nā kuleana e kekahi me ka mana e wehewehe. ʻAʻole ia he mau pilikia hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻoponopono me nā nīnau ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi a me ka lokomaikaʻi hou. ʻO ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e lawe iā lākou ʻoe wale, ma ka mana hōʻaiʻē, ʻo ia ke ʻano e luhi a hoʻonāukiuki ai ka poʻe maikaʻi.

ʻO ia ka manawa e lawe mai ai i ka mea i loaʻa ka mana ʻoihana — kou luna, ka mea kākoʻo o ka papahana, ka HR inā he pilikia ʻano. ʻAʻole ia he hāʻule o kou alakaʻi. ʻO ka ʻike ʻana i ka palena o ka mea hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻoponopono, a me ka hāʻawi ʻana i ke koena i ke kanaka kūpono, ʻo ia ke alakaʻi. Ua hāʻawi ʻia iā ʻoe ka mana, ʻaʻole he hana ʻaʻole nou.

A inā e hoʻonele kēia ʻano kuleana waena iā ʻoe ma ke ʻano ākea, ʻo ke kuleana me ka mana ʻole, ke kaumaha o ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana i kahi hui me nā pilina wale, he mea kūpono ia e mālama me ke koʻikoʻi. E kamaʻilio me kou luna e pili ana i ka mea āu e pono maoli ai e holomua. Inā e hahai ke kaumaha iā ʻoe i ka home a noho i kou hiamoe a ʻano manaʻo, hiki i kahi kauka a i ʻole mea lapaʻau noʻonoʻo ke kōkua iā ʻoe e lawe iā ia. He hana maoli ke alakaʻi ʻana i nā kānaka, ʻoiai ʻaʻohe poʻo inoa e ʻōlelo pēlā. ʻAe ʻia ʻoe e pono i ke kākoʻo no ia.

ʻO ka hapa nui o ka manawa, naʻe, hana ia. E kōkua mua ʻoe. E noi ʻoe ma kahi o ke kauoha. E hana palekana ʻoe i ke ʻoiaʻiʻo, a e mālama maʻemaʻe i kou māhele ponoʻī. E hana i kēlā no ka manawa lōʻihi a i kekahi lā e ʻike ai ʻoe ke hahai nei ka hui iā ʻoe, ʻaʻole no ka mea ua haʻi kekahi iā lākou, akā no ka mea ua hoʻoholo lākou. ʻO ia ke ʻano alakaʻi e mau ai.

Nā Kumu

Ma mua o kou haʻalele ʻana, he ʻōlelo no ka mālama

Hāʻawi ʻo KEEP CALM i nā mea hana hoʻonaʻauao manuahi e kōkua iā ʻoe iho. ʻAʻole kēia he ʻōlelo aʻo lapaʻau, he hōʻoia maʻi, a i ʻole he lāʻau lapaʻau, a ʻaʻole ia he pani no ka mālama ʻana a ka loea. Inā kani kekahi mea ma ʻaneʻi me he mea ʻoi aku ma mua o ke koʻikoʻi maʻamau, he ʻanuʻu ikaika a kūpono ka launa ʻana me ka loea.

If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, you are not alone. In the US, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24/7), text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line), or call 911 in an emergency.