Ua hōʻea mai kahi leka i kekahi Pōʻalua mai kekahi kanaka āna i hoʻomanaʻo iki ai, e mahalo ana me ka pumehana a me ka lōʻihi no nā minuke he iwakālua o ka ʻōlelo aʻo āna i hāʻawi ai ʻewalu makahiki i hala. Ua heluhelu ʻo ia i ʻelua manawa a ʻaʻole nō i hiki ke hoʻomanaʻo i kēlā kamaʻilio. Ua hoʻomanaʻo maikaʻi nō ʻo ia i kēlā makahiki. ʻAʻole loa ʻo ia i hoʻomanaʻo i kēlā mau minuke he iwakālua.
ʻO ka mea āna i ʻike ai ma hope o kēlā pule, ʻoi aku kona hoihoi. Ua noho ʻo ia ma ka hana nāna i puka mai ai kēlā ʻōlelo aʻo no ka mea ua haʻi kekahi i kona inoa i loko o kahi lumi i ka makahiki 2011, ma kahi hālāwai ʻaʻole ʻo ia i kono ʻia. ʻAʻole loa kekahi i haʻi aku iā ia. Ua lilo nā makahiki ma hope mai i kumu aʻo maikaʻi ʻo ia no kekahi mau kānaka, ʻaʻole naʻe ʻo ia i hana no kekahi i ka mea i hana ʻia nona.
He inoa nō ko kēlā hana. ʻO ke kākoʻo ia, ʻaʻole ia he ʻōlelo aʻo.
He aha ka ʻokoʻa ma waena o ke kumu aʻo a me ka mea kākoʻo?
Kamaʻilio ke kumu aʻo iā ʻoe, a kamaʻilio ka mea kākoʻo e pili ana iā ʻoe. Hāʻawi ke kumu aʻo i ka ʻōlelo aʻo i loko o ka lumi e noho pū ana ʻolua, a haʻi ka mea kākoʻo i kou inoa i loko o kahi lumi ʻaʻole ʻoe i laila, i nā kānaka hiki ke hāʻawi i kekahi mea iā ʻoe.
ʻAʻole i aʻo ʻia ka hapa nui o nā kānaka he ʻelua hana kaʻawale kēia, no laila hana lākou i ka mua, manaʻo lokomaikaʻi lākou, a pau. Ua hōʻike ʻo Herminia Ibarra, ʻo Nancy Carter a me Christine Silva ma ka Harvard Business Review, ʻo ka poʻe i loaʻa ka nui o ke aʻo ʻana, ʻaʻole lākou ka poʻe i loaʻa ka nui o ka hoʻokiʻekiʻe ʻana. Nui ka ʻōlelo aʻo, kākaʻikahi ka ʻōlelo kākoʻo. ʻO ka mea i hoʻoneʻe i nā ʻoihana, ʻo ia ka lilo ʻana o kekahi luna i kona hilinaʻi ponoʻī no kahi inoa kikoʻī, a e hōʻike mau ana nō ka Harvard Business Review i ka ʻokoʻa like ʻeiwa makahiki ma hope mai.
Wehewehe ka mea nāna i hoʻokumu ʻo KEEP CALM, ʻo Kaʻohele Carlos, i kēia hana ma kāna ʻōlelo ponoʻī:
He mea huna hou o koʻu holomua, ʻo ia ka hoʻihoʻi ʻana aku. ʻO ka hana manawaleʻa. ʻO ka ʻimi mau ʻana i nā manawa e aʻo ai, e hoʻomaʻamaʻa ai, e ʻōlelo aʻo ai, e hāpai ai, e mahalo ai, e kākoʻo ai i ka poʻe a puni oʻu. ʻO ka ikaika maikaʻi a me ke kākoʻo e hoʻi mai ana iaʻu, he pāʻumi ka nui.
ʻO kāna moʻolelo nō ia o kona iwakālua makahiki, ʻaʻole ia he kānāwai no kou, a ʻo ka mea waiwai, ʻo ia ke kaʻina. Ua hana ʻo ia i kēia i kona wā e piʻi mau ana, ʻaʻole ma hope o kona hōʻea ʻana.
Ke kumukūʻai: hoʻokahi ʻōlelo, a me kahi hapa liʻiliʻi o kou hilinaʻi ponoʻī e kau ana ma luna o kekahi. Ka ʻōlelo: “Inā ke ʻimi nei ʻoe i mea no kēlā, e kau iā Rosa ma ka papa inoa. Nāna i alakaʻi i ka neʻe ʻana i ka hapaha i hala, ʻaʻohe mea i haki.” Ka pinepine: hoʻokahi manawa o ka mahina, i loko o kahi lumi e hoʻoholo ʻia ana kahi mea.
ʻO wai kaʻu e kākoʻo ai, a pehea au e koho ai?
E koho i ke kanaka hiki iā ʻoe ke wehewehe i kāna hana ma kahi ʻōlelo kikoʻī hoʻokahi, a ʻaʻole ʻo ia i hāpai mua ʻia e ka lehulehu. ʻO ke kikoʻī ka mea nui, no ka mea, ʻo kahi inoa hiki ʻole iā ʻoe ke kākoʻo me kahi ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻo ia ka inoa āu e haʻi ʻole ai i ka wā koʻikoʻi o ka lumi.
ʻEkolu mea nānā. Ua ʻike maka ʻoe i ka hana, ʻaʻole i lohe wale, no laila ke hāʻawi nei ʻoe i kou manaʻo ponoʻī. Hoʻokahi kaʻina lākou ma hope ou, ʻaʻole ʻelima, no ka mea, aia nā lumi āu e noho ai ma kahi kokoke i kā lākou neʻe ʻana aʻe, ʻaʻole i kā lākou neʻe hope loa. A ʻaʻole lākou i noi mai, no laila komo ka poʻe akamai mālie ʻaʻole i mākaukau i ke noi ʻana.
ʻAʻole pono kekahi kūlana kiʻekiʻe no kēia. ʻO ka hoa hana nāna e ʻōlelo “Na Rosa i alakaʻi i kēlā neʻe ʻana” i loko o kahi hālāwai hoʻolālā, hoʻolilo ʻo ia i ka waiwai like a ke poʻo e hoʻolilo ai, ʻaʻole ia he mana. ʻO ia ke kikoʻī ʻana i mua o ka lehulehu a pololei nō ʻoe.
He aha kaʻu e ʻōlelo ai ke mahalo au i kekahi i mua o ka lehulehu?
E haʻi i ka mea kikoʻī hoʻokahi āna i hana ai, i mua o ka poʻe he waiwai ko lākou manaʻo iā ia. Lele wale ka mahalo pohihihi, akā ʻo kahi ʻōlelo kikoʻī i haʻi ʻia i mua o kona luna, he hanana ʻoihana ia a he ʻumikumamākahi kekona wale nō kāu e lilo ai.
Ua loaʻa iā Adam Grant lāua ʻo Francesca Gino, ma ka Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, ua ʻoi aku ka makemake o ka poʻe e kōkua hou ke hōʻike ʻia ka mahalo iā lākou, a ʻo ke kumu, ʻo ia ka manaʻo he waiwai lākou i nā kānaka, ʻaʻole ka manaʻo he ʻaiʻē lākou. ʻO ka lohe ʻana he waiwai ʻoe, ʻo ia ka mea nāna e hana. ʻO ia ke kumu e hāʻule ai ʻo “hana maikaʻi” a e kau ai ʻo “ʻo kāna kākau hou ʻana i ka pauku ʻelua ke kumu i kau inoa ai ka mea kūʻai.” Hoʻokahi wale nō o lāua hiki ke haʻi hou ʻia e kekahi ma hope aku.
Ke kumukūʻai: ʻumikumamākahi kekona, a me kahi hapa liʻiliʻi o ka nānā ʻana āu i hoʻolilo ai iā ʻoe iho. Ka ʻōlelo: “Ma mua o ko kākou neʻe ʻana aku, makemake au e haʻi i ka mea a Daniel i hana ai, no ka mea, ʻo ia ke kumu i holo ai kēia.” Ka pinepine: i kēlā me kēia pule, i loko o kahi hālāwai āu e noho nei.
He aha ka hoʻolauna aʻu e hana ai i kēia pule?
ʻO ka mea āu i mālama ai no ka mea me he mea lā he lilo ia o kahi lokomaikaʻi. E nīnau malū mua i kēlā ʻaoʻao kēia ʻaoʻao, a laila e hoʻouna i ʻekolu ʻōlelo e wehewehe ana i ka waiwai o kēlā kanaka kēia kanaka i ka manawa o kekahi, a laila e haʻalele i ke kamaʻilio.
He pipiʻi ka helehelena o ka hoʻolauna no ka mea ke hāʻawi nei ʻoe i kou manaʻo i ʻelua kānaka i ka manawa hoʻokahi, ʻo ia hoʻi ke kumu he waiwai nui ia i ka mea e loaʻa ai. ʻO ka nīnau mua ʻana ka mea e lilo ai kēia i mea maʻalahi, ʻaʻole i mea pilikia. ʻO ka hoʻolauna hiki iā ʻoe ke mālama iā ʻoe iho, ʻo ia ka mea waiwai loa hiki iā ʻoe ke hāʻawi aku i loko o hoʻokahi pule, a ʻo ia ka mea a ka hapa nui o nā kānaka i hana ʻole ai.
Ke kumukūʻai: ʻelima minuke a me kahi hapa liʻiliʻi o kou kūlana me lāua. Ka ʻōlelo: “Pono ʻolua e ʻike kekahi i kekahi. E Priya, na Marcus i kūkulu i ka mea āu i wehewehe ai i ka Pōʻahā. E Marcus, ʻo Priya ka mea aʻu i haʻi aku ai.” Ka pinepine: hoʻokahi o ka mahina, ua lawa.
Pehea au e aʻo aku ai i kaʻu ʻike me ka nalowale ʻole o koʻu ʻoi?
E aʻo aku nō. ʻAʻohe ou ʻoi e ola ana ma hope o kona kākau ʻia ʻana, a ʻo ke aʻo aku ke ala wikiwiki loa e ʻike ai i nā ʻāpana o kāu hana āu i paʻa maoli ai.
Ua hōʻike nā mea noiʻi ma ka Memory and Cognition, ʻo ka poʻe i heluhelu i kahi pauku me ka manaʻo e aʻo aku ana lākou, ua hoʻomanaʻo lākou i ka nui a ua hoʻonohonoho maikaʻi aku lākou ma mua o ka poʻe i manaʻo he hoʻokolohua kā lākou e hiki mai ana. Hoʻololi ka hoʻomākaukau ʻana e wehewehe i kou paʻa ʻana i ka ʻike. ʻO nā ʻāpana hiki ʻole iā ʻoe ke haʻi ma ka ʻōlelo maʻalahi, ʻo ia nā ʻāpana āu i hoʻokamani ai, a ʻoi aku ka wikiwiki o ka loaʻa ʻana o ia mau ʻāpana i hoʻokahi haumāna nānā pono ma mua o hoʻokahi makahiki o ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa hoʻokahi. ʻO ia ka mana e ulu ai: ʻo ka hola āu e hoʻolilo ai i kekahi ʻōpio, ʻaʻole ia i lawe ʻia mai kāu hana ponoʻī, he heluhelu hou ia o kāu hana me kahi mea ʻike i loko o ka lumi.
Ke kumukūʻai: ʻelua hola hoʻomākaukau, a ʻo ka hapa nui o ia, e hoʻomaikaʻi ana i kāu hana ponoʻī. Ka ʻōlelo: “E alakaʻi ana au i ʻekolu kānaka ma ke ʻano o kaʻu hana ʻana i kēia, i ka Pōʻahā. Makemake ʻoe e komo?” Ka pinepine: i kēlā me kēia hapaha, ua lawa e hoʻoponopono iā ʻoe.
E hāʻawi anei au i ke kālā a i ʻole i ka mākaukau aʻu e uku ʻia nei?
E hāʻawi i ka mākaukau. ʻO hoʻokahi hola o kāu mea akamai loa, ua like ia me ka lā holoʻokoʻa o ke kōkua maʻamau no kahi hui liʻiliʻi, a loaʻa ia iā ʻoe he mau makahiki ma mua o ka loaʻa ʻana o ke kālā.
ʻO kēia ka hāʻawi ʻana ʻaʻole pono kekahi e kali. ʻO ka mea hoʻolālā kiʻi nāna e hoʻolilo i hoʻokahi Pōʻaono no nā hōʻailona o kahi hale meaʻai kōkua, ua hoʻoneʻe ʻo ia i kahi mea hiki ʻole i ke kālā like ke hoʻopā. Maʻalahi ke kālā a he mea nui nō ke kālā, ʻaʻohe hewa o ka hoʻoholo ʻana i kahi pākēneka. Akā ʻo ka mākaukau ka mea iā ʻoe wale nō, a ʻo ka hāʻawi ʻana aku, ʻo ia ke ala e ʻike ai i kou akamai maoli, i loko o kahi lumi ʻaʻohe mea nāna e helu i kāu.
Ke kumukūʻai: hoʻokahi ʻauinalā o ka hapaha, a me ka ʻeha iki o ka hana ʻana ma waho o kou lumi. Ka ʻōlelo: “ʻO kēia kaʻu hana ola. Makemake ʻoe i ʻelua hola o ia?” Ka pinepine: i kēlā me kēia hapaha.
ʻO ka mea ʻaʻohe mea e ʻike ana
ʻEono hana, a ʻo ka hope loa ka mea e paʻa ai me ʻoe. E kākoʻo i kekahi ʻaʻole i noi mai, ʻaʻole e ʻike loa nāu i hana, ʻaʻole hiki iā ia ke uku hou aku iā ʻoe. ʻO ka inoa āu e hāpai ai i ko lākou wā i loko ʻole o ka hale. ʻO ka ʻōlelo hōʻoia lākou e lohe ʻole ai. ʻO ke kūʻē āu e pane mālie ai ma ke alahele ma mua o kona hiki ʻana iā lākou.
He pono ke hana ma ke kumu maʻalahi loa: holo ia, a lilo ʻoe i ke ʻano kanaka a haʻi e hāpai ai. ʻO ia hoʻi ka mea hoʻokahi o nā ʻeono me ka hoʻi ʻole mai o ka lohe, no laila ʻo ke kumu wale nō e hana ai, ua hoʻoholo ʻoe e lilo ʻoe i kanaka e hana pēlā.
ʻO hoʻokahi makahiki o kēia, he kanalimakumamālua inoa ia, ʻaʻole naʻe ka hapa nui o nā kānaka i mālama i moʻolelo. E mālama ʻoe i hoʻokahi. ʻO kahi ʻaoʻao me ka lā, ka inoa, a me ka hana o nā ʻeono āu i hana ai, ʻo ia wale nō ka hōʻike e loaʻa ana iā ʻoe e holo maoli ana kēia iā ʻoe, a ʻewalu kekona wale nō o ka pule.
ʻAʻole kēia e noi iā ʻoe e makemake iki a e hana iki. ʻO ka mea ʻokoʻa loa kēia. E hoʻolilo ana ʻoe i nā makahiki he ʻumi e hoʻoikaika ana i kekahi mea, a ʻo ka poʻe e kū mau ana ma ka hopena, ʻaʻole lākou ka poʻe i kiaʻi i kā lākou mau mea a pau. ʻO lākou ka poʻe i haʻi ʻia ko lākou inoa i loko o nā lumi ʻaʻole lākou i laila, no ka mea, ua haʻi lākou i nā inoa o haʻi no nā makahiki he ʻumi.
Nā kumu
- Harvard Business Review, Why Men Still Get More Promotions Than Women
- Harvard Business Review, A Lack of Sponsorship Is Keeping Women from Advancing into Leadership
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, A little thanks goes a long way: Explaining why gratitude expressions motivate prosocial behavior
- Memory and Cognition, Expecting to teach enhances learning and organization of knowledge in free recall of text passages